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View Full Version : Ghetto Resume - Jokey Joke


Pamalicious
09-05-2003, 02:42 PM
Rozonda LaQueeta "Pookie" Jenkins
2036 South Side Skreet Projects
Compton, CA 11122
Phone: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th.

OBJECTIVE
To one day fulfill my dream of becoming a SoulTrain Dancer and, you know, just gittin my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist in the 'hood.'

SKILLS

I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I use my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I do braids in any texture or color; synthetoc or human hurh.

EDUCATION

The "GET YOURS" Home Correspondence Course, INC:
Big Mamma's House of Hair 'N Nails 'N Fried Chicken 'N Stuff (Gradiated with honors for the most extensions don in a year's time)

WORK EXPERIENCE

January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999
Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait 'N TackleShop

Reason for leaving; I got sick 'n tired of Big Daddy hittin on me.

March 1, 1999-November 1, 1999
The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium

I loveded this job cuz they gave me a free toof ary monf and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cuz I let one of my homeboys sniff the laughing gas. He just smelt it, he don't do drugs no mo.

November 2, 1999-November 10, 1999
My Baby Daddy's Day Care Center Car Wash & Barber Shop

Reason for leaving: They tried to work a sistuh ta deaf and I got thangs ta do

November 12, 1999- November 14, 1999
Kim Fung Toi's House of Rice & Skrimps and Stuff
Reason For Leaving: You don't even wanna know

Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube

Reason for leaving: Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on an overflow of activator.


The Ike Turner Pimp Slap Recovery Center (They have lovely commodations; yes I worked there and was a patient too.)

Reason for leaving: Center closed down cuz Tina Turner done refused Ike's request to give a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside haself since she a big star and arythang.
He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush, Tennessee.

REFERENCES:

Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet)

Hezakiah Clevestus "The Playa" Jones (my homie's cuzzin's babydaddy)

The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin "ineedadrank" O'grady (pastor of the Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.)

mystkev
09-05-2003, 02:51 PM
Why do I feel bad about laughing?

Pamalicious
09-05-2003, 02:53 PM
I felt bad too.

zuriyahe
09-05-2003, 04:32 PM
Damit! I want to be offended....

But can I be offended and laugh at the same time?

:confused: :D :D :D :D

sistuhchey
09-05-2003, 04:37 PM
:p :D ....humor...oh well

HulaSista
09-05-2003, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by zuriyahe
Damit! I want to be offended....

But can I be offended and laugh at the same time?




i was thinking the same thing...

Can'tGetRight
09-05-2003, 05:32 PM
If you knew the author of this resume was white, would you still be laughing?

zuriyahe
09-06-2003, 12:25 PM
I hear ya.

I tend to not do the "It's ok for blacks to do it, but not for whites" and visa versa...

But that was my first assumption...that it was authored by a white person...

But, my reaction would be the same...

sistuhchey
09-06-2003, 01:13 PM
If i knew a keebler...authored this...I'd be pissed....period!!!.....
How dare you be so bold...as to send me this.....keebler...you don't have those priviliges....fuck ya!!!

It's like that old saying, I can talk about my family....buttera....don't you say jack....cuz...then I'll have to cut ya!!!

......:blah: ...

Tastey
09-06-2003, 01:37 PM
Originally posted by Can'tGetRight
If you knew the author of this resume was white, would you still be laughing?

Yes because apparently they've spent enough time in the ghetto to know what it's like and write this.

I could probably write a trailer trash redneck resume that would be EQUALLY as funny. (Might just try that later) :upto:

Life is too serious. Let a joke be a joke for a change.