seductive_tee
10-08-2001, 12:52 PM
This is from a friend of mine...this is to funny, but i may try a few things.
First things first.......How did the fucking go downhill?
If you are supposed to be so good in bed (like everyone claim they are)that you can coach, then he/she should NEVER be lackluster. To boost worker morale in bed grab a few items and hide them around the bedroom. Item can range from fruits and berries, whipped cream, to tools.
Bananas: Frozen or not can be used skin on or off with a condom. To add extra flavor to the cooter juice peel the banana.
Grapes: You can play hide and go get it. Pop a few grapes in the cooter and make him find them. If one gets stuck she can shoot it out into his mouth. Scoot back further for a three point shot!
Canned peaches (in heavy syrup): First apply drop cloth to area you plan on making whoopie. Ladies: just pour the can on you starting form your neck down to your heel. Fellas: pour the can on you from the waist down. Afterwards a shower together would be nice. (NOTE: Fellas, do not let them make you stand in the back with the cold water)
Canned pineapples (sliced): Strickly for the fellas. Take out the slices and get a knife to cut slits into the hole in the middle. Slide em on your member and fiola' DICK KABOBS!
Whipped cream: Make each other bathing suits. For you salad
tossing freaks make sure you spread the ass cheeks and apply cream there also. For the lactose intolerant they are making soy cream very soon.
Shoe horns: Tell her your playing doctor and you are giving her a pap smear. You can use a blue tarp from Home Depot for the waist down gown.
If after trying the above techniques and you still have boring sex seek a new partner.
First things first.......How did the fucking go downhill?
If you are supposed to be so good in bed (like everyone claim they are)that you can coach, then he/she should NEVER be lackluster. To boost worker morale in bed grab a few items and hide them around the bedroom. Item can range from fruits and berries, whipped cream, to tools.
Bananas: Frozen or not can be used skin on or off with a condom. To add extra flavor to the cooter juice peel the banana.
Grapes: You can play hide and go get it. Pop a few grapes in the cooter and make him find them. If one gets stuck she can shoot it out into his mouth. Scoot back further for a three point shot!
Canned peaches (in heavy syrup): First apply drop cloth to area you plan on making whoopie. Ladies: just pour the can on you starting form your neck down to your heel. Fellas: pour the can on you from the waist down. Afterwards a shower together would be nice. (NOTE: Fellas, do not let them make you stand in the back with the cold water)
Canned pineapples (sliced): Strickly for the fellas. Take out the slices and get a knife to cut slits into the hole in the middle. Slide em on your member and fiola' DICK KABOBS!
Whipped cream: Make each other bathing suits. For you salad
tossing freaks make sure you spread the ass cheeks and apply cream there also. For the lactose intolerant they are making soy cream very soon.
Shoe horns: Tell her your playing doctor and you are giving her a pap smear. You can use a blue tarp from Home Depot for the waist down gown.
If after trying the above techniques and you still have boring sex seek a new partner.