Emotional Baggage

[Brightness]

Come on, now admit it. . .we all have some preconceived notions and emotional baggage based on our past relationships. Some people are more affected than others but I think we've all come away with a bad taste in our mouths at times. Is there anything you have to strive to overcome when meeting someone of the opposite sex? (or same sex. . .I guess I have to be politically correct now with all the same-sex stuff going on these days)

[ThickBodyHottie]

yeah...i can be very mean if i don't get my way and if i guy mentions having ANY feelings toward an ex-of his, i'm out the door!

[lovely]

My ex used to go out with friends and never invite me...so i started to think that i wasnt good enough for him...not pretty enough, didnt dress well enough for him. Some of that stemmed from having a low self esteem, but he made that worse. I have definitaly come to except myself as i am...and if you dont like it..then its your loss.

Also because he was my first ..i felt like i wasnt all great sexually.. But now that i have slept with some other folks...i know that my stuff is the bomb:D

[Tastey]

I am very sensitive when it comes to men and money. If a man asks me to borrow even $1 I am ready to bounce.

I am very generous and my first fiance' pretty much took advantage of that for our 2 yr relationship. I can even count how much money I loaned him in the name of love.

I vowed that no brother would EVER get that again, no matter what. NEVER EVER.

So the 1st time a brother says, Will you loan me? Can I hold? Can I borrow? or even Can you pay this time, I'm a little short on cash...I am ghost. I know if I do it once, and the relationship grows that if I fall in love...there's no telling how much I'll give so I nip it in the bud.

[OhSoPrecious]

I've been carrying so much baggage around with me. . . that I think I'm going to be single for a long time to come~!! :rolleyes:

(sigh)

Maybe that's why they're all saying. . . "You're going to make some man very happy one day~!!" :eek: It just won't be them, huh~?? :confused: :rolleyes:

[Andre98]

...for us long married folks. Looking back though I think the biggest baggage there was to overcome was that I had to realize I can't do anything about what my lady's "history" is. And to a greater extent, that I can't be all paranoid about whether I know all there is about her before she met me. It is her perogative to tell me what she wants, and to keep whatever she wants to remain private just that way. She has never expressed any misgivings about anything I've told her about myself, so I had to learn early on in our relationship to love and to trust her unconditionally.

[seductive_tee]

trust is a big thing for me.....soon as u trust them....BAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Toffee]

I think the baggage I carry stems from my relationship with my father.... and haveing low self-esteem.. and not being comfortable with my weight...

[Brightness]

1. I have an issue with a man meeting my expectations of what a provider is. As I thought about this, I think it goes back to seeing how my father did/didn't provide adequately enough. You know as a child you don't really see things from a broader perspective. As I grew into adulthood and parenthood, I reflected and realized that there was more he could have done but chose not to do.

2. I have an issue with trust. I can sense that after my last relationship that I would be a little more hesistant to fully put my trust in a man. I think that I could afford them some 'courtesy' trust but deep in my heart I wouldn't believe or know that I could trust without some hardcore evidence showing me they deserved it. I think anyone who's trusted wholeheartedly can feel me on this one.

3. I'm a lightweight control-freak.

[Tastey]

Almost 2 years later and I've collected more baggage.

Now it's the trust issue. I have been betrayed not only by men but by women I called my friends. I am at a point in my life where I don't trust anybody that is not blood related to me.

There are 2 women at my job whom I've worked with before. Both are about my age, one is a single mother also, the other is expecting a child soon. They both have asked me to lunch and I've made excuses.

Why? Because I refuse to trust anybody. I find myself thinking "Yeah and after lunch what bullsh*t thing are you gonna pull on me like everyone else."

The guy I'm dating is a self-professed heathen. I know it's never gonna work. But he's safe. I don't have to worry about trusting him cus I know he ain't sh*t and he knows he ain't sh*t.

This is something I pray about daily. The walls have gotten higher and I know that if I don't deal with it, eventually no one will be able to bring them down.