can someone tell me how this sounds?

[Steel Tiger]

My friend says im a good poet, but im still questioning it. Can someone tell me what they think???

Like a swift bolt of time,
You left me….
My wings, which you gave birth to, are rotting
The love we share is deteriorating
My ethereal angel from the heavens, my heart, my dream….
Gone…the most punishing word to my soul…
Gone…
What has happened to us?
We have done nothing….
And nothing has taken the biggest toll
No one’s to blame for this, yet
I long for you to return


Thats just a small one.....Im not so sure im done with it but how does it sound???:confused:

[swtjamaica]

...it's a little melancholy, but under current circumstances, i understand...

[TheProphet69]

Ayo, this is my fam right here!!!! He got skillz!!!!! Rate His Shit!!!! Mad Love. . . .Raziel!!!!!!!! 1 ya'self!!!!!!!!!!!! ( U got sum of ya skillz from me. . .but u kinda introduced me to this "expressive writing" shit!!!!!!) P.S. They Aint Ready For What We Bout To Put Out!!!!!!! They gonna love the "hard-bound"!!!!!!!!! LMAO