KissableSexyShortStuff
06-13-2003, 06:48 AM
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated,
the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The
teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
_____________________________________________
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's art
work As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
_____________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shall not kill."
_____________________________________________
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy
Brown had kissed her after class."How did that happen?" gasped her
mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him." _____________________________________________
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white.
The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
______________________________________________
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two
boy kittens and two girl kittens."How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
______________________________________________
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a
doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher. She's dead.
____________________________________________
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
in the face." "Yes", the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty!
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated,
the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The
teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
_____________________________________________
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's art
work As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
_____________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shall not kill."
_____________________________________________
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy
Brown had kissed her after class."How did that happen?" gasped her
mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him." _____________________________________________
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white.
The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
______________________________________________
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two
boy kittens and two girl kittens."How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
______________________________________________
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a
doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher. She's dead.
____________________________________________
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
in the face." "Yes", the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty!