Does you S/O have the right to know how many sexual partners you have had?

[FAMU]

what do u think fam?

[misha]

I don't see how that would make a difference....the only reason I would want to know about a mans past is if he had a history of abuse or something like that. Otherwise, I don't feel a need to know.

I know of some men that have used a womans past to beat her over the head.....one man that I showed some interest in asked me to tell him the names of all the men I had been with....when I got through laughing, the interest I had was gone. How insecure is that?

[Toffee]

No reason !!! I wouldn't want to know.. As long as when we get together the number stops with me.

[Sparkles]

However, not everyone is willing to reveal that information so openly. So I would say it's up to the individual, if you don't mind sharing, share, and if you do, then it shouldn't be an issue.

Like Misha said, I have known other women to reveal, and the men threw it back in there faces. I say if you can't handle the truth, then Don't ask!!!!!!

Oh yeah, i personally wouldn't ask, that tadbit of information is not something that i care or need too know, unless he just feel the need to share.

[SoftNwet]

HELL NO!!!!! and upon further consderation of the question my answer is still HELL NO!!!!! The reason being that for a man it is ok for him to have partners into the double digits. But for a woman it is slutty or hoe-ish. I do not see how the knowing the number is going to make or brake either party. I think that if you have had more partners or more experiences (freaky stuff) than your man he tends to feel intimidated because of his lack there of.

So I ain't tellin' shit!!!!!! The number is somewhere between 2-200 now figure that out!!!!:fu

[Tastey]

Soft in here making perfect damn sense! ;) I agree completely.

Guess I'll go find someone else to fight with. lol ;)

[nubianx2]

What's the point????? If the person is feelin me then they need to deal with me in the present, not the past.

[que90nek]

if its no big deal you should be able to tell!
if it bothers me...then i should have never asked! Bottom line is that I want to know all about what makes u YOU....your past.

[seductive_tee]

Shouldn't matter and if asked i'd tell...but don't throw a fit when you hear my answer.

My answer is greater than 2, but thats an obvious one....

[mack_black]

I guess it all depends on your level of insecurity....

[Babygirl]

I told my husband..no big deal. I have done nothing I am ashamed of. Hell if I can tell the Hush Family, I damn sure can disclose the same info to my lifepartner. It's good to know..for obvious reasons...risky behavior can lead to..well, we ALL know that speech so I'll save it for another time.:D

[RaiOfSunshine]

I see it this way: if I don't care about what he did in his past, then he shouldn't care about what I did. The only thing I'd be concerned with is whether or not he has an STD. Testing can figure that out. Otherwise, the past is the past. Let it stay there.

There could be problems if my prospective boyfriend/husband knew how many partners I had. If I had more partners than him, he would look at me like a slut, or he would feel sexually inadequate because I would have more experience than him. (Anyone seen "Chasing Amy"?)

Some people may be able to deal with that, but I would rather keep my past & his past under wraps.

[que90nek]

don't you want to know if he can handle it or not? aren't u curious to know that this person loves you for YOU .... including all your past faults....after all it IS THE culmination of the past...that makes you who you are today!

If a man is that insecure ... that he would say ..."oh my goodness...i've only slept with 8...and you've slept with 10...i can't continue...HAVE A NICE LIFE!" these are things YOU need to know! its that same person that will wait till after you have 3 kids to say..."um...you've gained a little weight and...um...my wife should only be 140lbs."

[OhSoPrecious]

I don't know about your S/O having the right to know. . . but, if they ever ask, I don't see why you shouldn't/couldn't tell them~!! :rolleyes:

You better believe I'm gonna ask~!!! :evil:


Que, I see your point bruh. . and I agree. . . :) however, how do you know folks aren't lying about the actual #'s~!! :confused:

Scary thought, huh~?? :(

[que90nek]

actually it is not a scary thought at all...to always second guess somebody is the sincerest form of insecurity.

[sistuhchey]

Your my one and only.....;) ;) some things are better unsaid!!!

Can ya dig it???

[ThickBodyHottie]

ain't no GATDAMN way he'll know how many...hell, how i'ma tell him something i don't know myself...

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by que90nek+
don't you want to know if he can handle it or not? aren't u curious to know that this person loves you for YOU .... including all your past faults....after all it IS THE culmination of the past...that makes you who you are today!


How many men I have slept with is not a fault it is a fact of life, my life. And I am sure Que that there are somethings in your past that you will not share with your S/O. So why is it necessary for you to know every minute detail aboout my past. If it is not hurting you and you are benefitting(getting freaked to the hightest of freak-tivity) from the past the sit back and enjoy the ride!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

[ThickBodyHottie]

right, soft...all that matters is that the past made the person what they are today...eventually, everything will come up anyway - even if it doesn't, you can pretty much TELL what the deal is...but a past is a past is a past...that's why it's called "the past"

[que90nek]

and because it is just a "past" one should feel free to share it! unless they are ashamed. who among us will admit that they are ashamed of the NUMBER?

[SoftNwet]

in my past that I am not proud of(never ashamed), and there are things that are nobody's GAT-DAMN BUSINESS!!!! And the number of men I have slept with is NONE of your/his GAT-DAMN Business!!!!:fu :blah: :rolleyes:

[ThickBodyHottie]

i'm not ASHAMED...i just can't remember is all...

[que90nek]

funny...i can't remember either.

[ThickBodyHottie]

so...here's the sich:

even if the s/o had the right to know, if i couldn't come up with the number, is that grounds for dismissal?

[que90nek]

u should guestimate...
between 70 and 100 or somethin...

shouldnt be grounds for dis

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by que90nek+
u should guestimate...
between 70 and 100 or somethin...

shouldnt be grounds for dis

How you know she is at around 70-100?!!??!!?!?

[ThickBodyHottie]

the number of times you've fucked me in your dreams does not count, que...;)

[Vronni]

I don't think that it's anyone's business unless you choose to divulge that information-whatever that number is ,it's probably too many,in the other's person's mind. I think that that is just opening up a can of worms :beating but to each his own.....

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by Vronni+
-whatever that number is ,it's probably too many,in the other's person's mind. I think that that is just opening up a can of worms :beating but to each his own.....


My point exactly!!!!! Thanks, V!!!!!

[mitzy]

HELL NO!!!, besides there is noway a man can handle that information...any woman who tells a man how many men she has had is asking for trouble. she will hear about that s**t through out the relationship.

[Andre98]

....it may seem so damn important, but it really isnt if you are meant for each other.
I posted in here a while back about one day early in our relatiosnship, when I was playing around with my wife, holding her diary from high school and college, threatening to read it. She said " make sure you can handle it" and to this day, I wished I had not opened that book! It was before we met, and I didnt have a right to act like I needed to know. Only if she chose to enlighten me on painful or special moments in her life, sexual or otherwise, should I know. (Dang, good grammar died with that sentence!)

Knowing details about an episode on a park bench in Central Park, and other adventures that made my ego feel like it was caught in a beatdown, I learned my lesson well. It took a bit to get over the thought that my baby may have got it put to her way better than I thought I was doing. And again, that's male ego talking, because by reading the pages' description, who was to judge what was "better"? What is important is that she chose me to make her life with, and even though it was only a few years in at the point that I went snooping, it didn't deserve the invasion of privacy. I was not entitled to know anything more than she's willing to tell me.

[Brightness]

No one has the RIGHT to information that someone would otherwise choose not to provide about their past, whatever the case may be.

[KissableSexyShortStuff]

No, he does not have the right to know. He keeps asking and I am not going to tell. and in his way to get me to tell him he tells me how many he had.

[mystkev]

He does not have the RIGHT to know.

I generally will share. It doesn't really matter to me.

[Joi :)]

Originally posted by mystkev+
He does not have the RIGHT to know.

I generally will share. It doesn't really matter to me.

I agree

[que90nek]

Originally posted by que90nek+
if its no big deal you should be able to tell!
if it bothers me...then i should have never asked! Bottom line is that I want to know all about what makes u YOU....your past.

funny...i was bout to reanswer....decided to look for my past answer....first.

i was gonna say....that if you are unable to open up to me about your past....then perhaps u r not the one for me.

[HulaSista]

Originally posted by que90nek+
i was gonna say....that if you are unable to open up to me about your past....then perhaps u r not the one for me.

i remember reading and watching this thread and being afraid to anwser! lol... i agree with this statement.

[sistuhchey]

sorry ....but I don't think it's a good thing to share that info...Why??

[que90nek]

why?

well obviously because if u share he will think less of u?

because if u share all that u used to be...he will think less of who u r today?

because u don't think he is confident enough to handle the number of men u been with?

because u r ashamed?

because u r embarassed to admit...?

because ...how can he possibly love you when u have demonstrated an inability to LOVE yourself over the years?

[sistuhchey]

why?? give him something to put in your face,
why?? is this open for discussions,relationships are hard enough w/o bringing your sexual escapades into it...
why?? and how can you fix your lips to ask me such a question...I choose not to know about who,what,and how many you've had...
it's only asking for confusion....
why??? let's work on the love we have NOW!!...not what was!!!...
why?? because it's really none of your damn business....

Que, my question to you...by you knowing what is that going to bring to the relationship...

ashamed, Negro...i'm too old to feel ashamed about giving up the booty...there's a better joy out there than counting my sexual partners....

that's as stupid as the question...am i the best you ever had??....Yeah nigga, you're the best.....:rolleyes: :hammer

[que90nek]

i guess i'm just wierd...

i like to know where a person CAME FROM....to better understand them...and what makes them tick today.

[misha]

Maybe it matters when you are 25.....but at 45, well, it's an entirely different story!

I think it matters less, the older you get.

[CD]

Originally posted by misha+
Maybe it matters when you are 25.....but at 45, well, it's an entirely different story!

I think it matters less, the older you get.


I'm old enough to judge weather or not she has had to many for me by how the pootang fit.

[HulaSista]

Originally posted by CD+
I'm old enough to judge weather or not she has had to many for me by how the pootang fit.

if that aint' some sexist dick-psychology, i don't know what is!

what if in her 20's she had 100 men, and then, in her 30's, none, but she kept up the kegels and NEVER told you this info.... you tryna tell me your dicks pshyic ability can feel/see through all that?

[HulaSista]

ok, i guess i am just nosey! i still want to know about his past! lol

[que90nek]

some folks are more inquisitive than others....

but what makes a person tick ....well...the better u understand the above...the more effectively u can communicate...the more effectively u can interact with that person on an EVERYDAY basis....

[CD]

Originally posted by HulaSista+


if that aint' some sexist dick-psychology, i don't know what is!

what if in her 20's she had 100 men, and then, in her 30's, none, but she kept up the kegels and NEVER told you this info.... you tryna tell me your dicks pshyic ability can feel/see through all that?

What is knowing how many folks your s/o has been with going to do for you? The question s/b is she sexual enough for you or not and the number of partners don't mean dink. There is an assumption here that the number of parters is suppose to be some indication, of what I don't know. All it indicates is if the person is a virgin or not.

[djackso]

The number means nothing. A woman can have 1 partner who she had sex with 1,000 times. A woman can have had 20 partners who she had sex with a total of 100 times. What does that mean physically? What does that mean emotionally? Each person is different so setting a standard is not logical.

[HulaSista]

Originally posted by CD+


What is knowing how many folks your s/o has been with going to do for you? The question s/b is she sexual enough for you or not and the number of partners don't mean dink. There is an assumption here that the number of parters is suppose to be some indication, of what I don't know. All it indicates is if the person is a virgin or not.

well, in the bigger scheme of things... it leads me to ask "why so many partners? what is your story? what made you go on a rampage? what made you settle down? " it is one of a million focus points/conversations to enjoy with this person in getting to know them.

it may also tells me their mindset or views of sex and perhaps their expectations of it from me. also, i would want to know how he views me and my #... does he judge me? does he consider me a ho? does he care. if not, then cool, and that, i am sure, will lead to more questions and conversation! IF SO and he tells me that... then i now know what I am working with in the relationship and ask more questions. "would this be a person that judges anything else i do? how would this person feels if i did this or that or that or this? what is this person's overall views of women".

i am looking for COMPLETE honesty on all fronts! whether they are shame or not! i have done some embarressing and shameful things, but i also want a person to accept the fact i am a human and have flaws and that i will continue to make mistakes etc in my life.... can he handle that?

if not... i can't be with him...

and djackso, i didn't know anyone was setting a standard. at least i am not. i'm just being nosey!

[CD]

Originally posted by HulaSista+
i am looking for COMPLETE honesty on all fronts!

Most folks lie to themselves so how can you expect COMPLETE honesty.

Are you willing to tell someone all those things that made you feel low? I don't think so.

[HulaSista]

you don't even know me to say that i would not! COME ON NOW DUDE! This is hula you are talking too! i ain't like those crack heads you're use to! sorry! there are those of us women who got balls enough to tell the truth about themselves! no matter how low or how bad.

if i can't trust this man who i chose to be with, to be honest with me, then, i can't trust MYSELF since i was the one who choose to be with him!

and as many men who have lied to me? MAN... lol... i am living proof that they come out with it EVENTUALLY (guilt is a muthafucka) and forgiveness can be had.

for me, i'm already forgiven for those shameful things which were sinful, so why should i hide it? the shame and embarressment will keep me from repeating those mistakes! ;)

but all we're talking about is a number! somethings wrong if that number is a secret! nothings wrong with the number! somethings wrong with the COMFORT he feels in telling me. that would be something i have to ponder and question.

[Brightness]

Me and you are on the same thought wave with this one.

Originally posted by HulaSista+


well, in the bigger scheme of things... it leads me to ask "why so many partners? what is your story? what made you go on a rampage? what made you settle down? " it is one of a million focus points/conversations to enjoy with this person in getting to know them.

it may also tells me their mindset or views of sex and perhaps their expectations of it from me. also, i would want to know how he views me and my #... does he judge me? does he consider me a ho? does he care. if not, then cool, and that, i am sure, will lead to more questions and conversation! IF SO and he tells me that... then i now know what I am working with in the relationship and ask more questions. "would this be a person that judges anything else i do? how would this person feels if i did this or that or that or this? what is this person's overall views of women".

i am looking for COMPLETE honesty on all fronts! whether they are shame or not! i have done some embarressing and shameful things, but i also want a person to accept the fact i am a human and have flaws and that i will continue to make mistakes etc in my life.... can he handle that?

if not... i can't be with him...

and djackso, i didn't know anyone was setting a standard. at least i am not. i'm just being nosey!

And this one. . . .

Originally posted by HulaSista+

there are those of us women who got balls enough to tell the truth about themselves! no matter how low or how bad.

if i can't trust this man who i chose to be with, to be honest with me, then, i can't trust MYSELF since i was the one who choose to be with him!



And especially this one. . .

Originally posted by HulaSista+

for me, i'm already forgiven for those shameful things which were sinful, so why should i hide it? the shame and embarressment will keep me from repeating those mistakes! ;)

but all we're talking about is a number! somethings wrong if that number is a secret! nothings wrong with the number! somethings wrong with the COMFORT he feels in telling me. that would be something i have to ponder and question.