Single Mothers or Single parent

[que90nek]

How effective is a single parent if they are unable to provide both male and female role models to their child? IF you have a son..but you are a complete emotional wreck all the time...what will the impact be...on the son...or even the daughter?

Could the single parents in the room elaborate on how they try to be both parents to their child?

[OhSoPrecious]

First of all, I don't try to be both parents to my daughter~!! :( She knows that her Daddy is not here with us and that her Mommy tries to do the best that she can~!! And, whenever she feels the need to talk about her Daddy, we talk about him~!! :rolleyes:

I think I am very effective as a single mother/single parent. . . even though I am unable to provide that male role model~!!

It's sad to say. . . but, I think that my brother plays the "father figure" role just cause he's the only man in the house~!! :rolleyes:

And, as far as being an emotional wreck. . . I am a very emotional person and have been all this week. . . and I honestly think that it would do my little girl more harm if I kept that all inside~!! :(

Yes, she is only four years old. . . but, she and I have been talking about the most recent events all week long~!!! I don't expect her to understand everything. . . but, I think it's good that I let her know how I am feeling and we talk about it~!!

I just wish that I had all the right answers to all of her questions~!!

[Bedroomeyes]

Well.. As a single parent of two preteen boys and one girl.. My children come to me for all questions and I answer them.. All of them.. We have talked about the situation going on right now.. God..jail..sex.. drugs.. smoking.. drinking... whatever they need to know and ask.. I let them know straight up..

My kids do not have a male role model.. But I know that our lives and the way they are raised is very effective.. I am proud that we have a very close relationship and that they come to me and tell me things that go on without me having to ask..

Not really understanding the "emotional wreck" part.. But my children seldom see me get upset.. (unless I'm getting into their asses! :beating ) I feel that children should have their time to be children and not have to worry about grown-up issues..

Most single parents did not choose to be single parents.. but ended up that way.. It is always a learning process in my home.. I just have to be strong and go with the flow and take care of mine the best way I know how!

[HulaSista]

well, you are good, cause you are confidence in your work as a single parent and are steadfast in the task of raising the child.

that includes makin sure the other parent is in the childs' life.

now, there are some mothers and fathers who leave the child on the opposite parent, and well, that can't be avoided. sometimes when they do that, they become un reachable.

i don't try to be the father to my son. he got a daddy. i fought a lot more with myself than with him to avoid the emotional wreck stage from setting in and pushin him away and setting insecure feelings with my son.

and if he wasn't there, i would have to recruit the male cousins, and uncles and grandpa to help out. i cannot teach my son to be a man, but they can. just like the men in my family helped my momma tremendously with me, i learned how to be a woman from my aunts and grandmas and mamma.

although my grandfather and uncle tried to teach me electronics!

and my uncles taught me how to drank! :beer

[OhSoPrecious]

I thought there were more single moms/single parents out there in hushland~??!! :rolleyes:

I would love to hear from you guys~!! :)

Btw, I thought this was a very interesting thread, Que~!! :hearts:

[sistuhchey]

Originally posted by Bedroomeyes+
Not really understanding the "emotional wreck" part.. But my children seldom see me get upset.. (unless I'm getting into their asses! :beating ) I feel that children should have their time to be children and not have to worry about grown-up issues..

Most single parents did not choose to be single parents.. but ended up that way.. It is always a learning process in my home.. I just have to be strong and go with the flow and take care of mine the best way I know how! [/B]


Hey, girl I feel ya on this.....children should be allowed to be children...with one or two parents present.....PARENTING does not come with a manual..it's a live day to day scenario..you pray and hope you teach your child right from wrong, you give them strength, love and understanding...and you stand tall and firm in a world of Giants and hopefully they follow your lead....or do better!!!...as far as role models...mmmmm.. I ain't big on that...:blah:

[dulce]

I'm new to the hush but had to reply to que90nek+...

first of all, it seems that you have some preconceived notions about single parents - particularly single mothers. Why assume that we are "...emotional wrecks all the time"?

As far as my effectiveness as a parent, I teach my child by being strong and self-sufficient when necessary but also being intelligent to know when to ask for support. I don't believe that it is necessary to attempt to be "both parents". Successful parenting is a combination of love, strength, understanding, discipline and communication. Fortunately, my child has a wide circle of caring family and friends that enjoy participating in his life.

As several members on the boards stated, most of us did not intend to become single parents. Have you considered the circumstances that might have lead to that?

Just had to jump in here...

[nubianx2]

The effectiveness of parenting has no bearing on whether you do it single-handedly or as a couple. We all know that there are some two parent households where one parent is doing all the parenting and the other is just taking up air space.

I believe that as a single parent I am effectively providing my daughter with the essentials for life. I've never tried to be both mother and father to her, especially since there's no way possible that I can do that. Fortunately, she has a grandfather who is a very strong father figure in her life. It doesn't make up for the fact that her father is absent, but it helps. As the saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child."

[ThickBodyHottie]

you may find emotional wrecks in TWO parent households...being confused and stressed out happens all the time...it should have no bearing on how well your child is raised, especially if the child is made aware that the state of mind of the single parent has nothing to do with the child...male role models can be had whether that male is the father or not...one cannot be BOTH parents - that is ludicrous...what one can be is the best parent they can be...eventually that child will see that and respect that...

[seductive_tee]

Me an emotional wreck....i'll ask my kids tonight and see what they say.

Of course my son will say i'm crazy.

[shtalker]

Originally posted by ThickBodyHottie+
you may find emotional wrecks in TWO parent households...being confused and stressed out happens all the time...it should have no bearing on how well your child is raised, especially if the child is made aware that the state of mind of the single parent has nothing to do with the child...male role models can be had whether that male is the father or not...one cannot be BOTH parents - that is ludicrous...what one can be is the best parent they can be...eventually that child will see that and respect that...

I totally agree.

[Tastey]

Oh well to answer the question.

I believe that a child needs good parenting whether that comes in the form of 2 or 1 parent varies.

I do believe that a male child needs a male role model. My son gets that from family and friends.

Other than that I try to be as involved a parent as I can be. Which is hard but I realize that God blessed me to be a parent and even with that blessing I chose to accept the responsibility.

I am very tough on my son, because I feel I have to be. Maybe if he had a male figure in the house it would be different.

Maybe...