Served with the papers!

[djackso]

I just got served with divorce papers last week. I haven't talk to her in five months. Should I try to talk to her or let it go? I am happier without the conflicts with her family. People can't believe that i'm letting it go like that but i feel i can find somebody else. When she went to a lawyer she made her decision. Should i try to save my marriage?

[Tastey]

You said you are happier without the conflicts with her family.

Are you geniunely happier without your wife?

If you are then I say admit that the marriage was a mistake and move on with your life.

If you are not then talk to her and find out if there's anything left of the marriage to salvage.

[Admin]

D,
Man 5 months and no contact? Q: How old are yall? :D.

Look-a-hear Playa. YES! There have been many niggas like you who have said fuck it and jetted.

Anything is worth saving if it means enuff to you. My best friend has a 1965 Mustang that does not run, he has not driven it in years...but the nigga will not part with it.

Not saying that your wife/marriage is like a car, but if your marriage means enuff to you, you will not part with it.

To Death do us part?

So, she initiated it? You had no part in this pending divorce? We are only hearing your side....you know I have your back, but I think you should think about it...take about a week. Try to contact her before you sign, do lunch at a crowded place like a Mall (she will feel safe) and just chat for a few...mostly ask her straight up if this is what she really wants.

Then I think you can better make your decision. Good Luck Playa..and keep us posted.

Holla;)

[mack_black]

Yeah....

she did make a decision alright....

I think you should talk to her and make sure that is what she wants....that would be the gentlemanly thing to do. Additionally, you'll know what the deal is and be able to make a better decision as to how you're gonna roll...

then after that c'mon up to NJ and have a couple of :beer with me.. :D

[seductive_tee]

Have one last talk with her, without her family around, 5 months is a long time and she may have calmed down now.

Even if she wants to try and save the marriage, i wouldn't rush back to her.

But if she still feels the same, i'd say continue on with your life without her.

Good Luck!

[CD]

DJackso

I'm just curious, some of the questions may be a bit to personal for you, if so please disregard them.

-You got kids?
- How long were you married?
- How long has things been tough between you two...ie from the beginning?

[djackso]

No children & we got married May 29, 1999. What changed the relationship was an incident which she got mad & went to her mother's house. She called me from there & in the background her brothers were screaming " I'm going over to kick his ass". So I told her to call me later. One of her brothers called me talking shit so i hung up on his ass. So 5 minutes my wife calls & says don't open the door. Her brothers were outside & i came to the door & told them to step. So one brother breaks the glass on the front door. The phone rings again & i told my wife what happened & i'm going to bust a cap in their ass. She calls the police & they come & i end up going to jail cause she sided with her brothers. I get a domestic volience charge which she later dropped. She swears she didn't tell the police anything & she signed a blank complaint & the police filled it in. After that the trust was gone.

[Vronni]

djackso, you should decide if that's truly what YOU want,since we are not in the marriage. If you think that the marriage can be salvaged and you want to salvage it,then you should talk to your wife about what her feelings are on the matter-is she 100% certain about a divorce or is she open to reconciliation? It will take 2 for that to work. Good luck

[HulaSista]

dayum...

you can still save your marriage...

the question is...do you guys mutually want to...

go talk to ol' girl...she probably miss ya stuff...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day...and even now, in my family, if you run home to mom, mom sends your ass right back home. my mother told me straight up (cause everyone done did it at least once) "That's YO man....you go handle him. Don't bring that shit over here"... :hammer

I don't know what the situation was with you and your wife for her to go home to mom, but, man, i am sorry it escalated to that point though.

[nubianx2]

Was this the first time she went to her mother's house after an agrument?

I can tell you from first hand experience if her family is all up in your business it will be nearly impossible to make your marriage work. But like the rest of the fam is saying you should have at least one civil conversation with her just to make sure that the two of you are making the right decision. It nothing worst than wondering later on in life if you did the right thing.

[CD]

I asked those questions to get some type of feel as to how much you have invested in the relationship.

All in all my brother, its up to you. You are the only one that knows what's in your heart and mind. You are the only one that knows deep down inside if you still have love in your heart for the woman. Enough love to make you want to try again.

I only know if you decide to try again you must be willing to give all that you have 110%. Anything less will not surfice. On the flip side, if you decide not to, let the bitterness go and move on.

Good luck my brother

[ThickBodyHottie]

to piggy-back on the previous post by Mr. PS - there seems to be not much investment in the marriage other than emotions...and already there're threats of shooting and kicking ass and already papers served...that is not taking things seriously...that is saying, "divorce and family are options to working things out and i'm choosing those"...personally, i think it's a little too late to have a trusting relationship ever again...you're already marked by the family, already in the court system, already have animosity toward one another...

[Toffee]

y did it take getting papers to know want to talk? Did u ever consider trying to talk to her before the papers were served?

You have to do what u feel is what u want. Do you want t work on the relationship? Then if you do you express that to her.

[Babygirl]

Djaso,

I feel like TBH. The writings on the wall. Looks like the trust is out the door, and her family is a major factor in YOUR marriage. Did she want to get divorce papers or did the Sopranos talk her into it?? I would normally suggest counseling, but this time, after all that has been said and done..get out while you can. Think about this scene: you reconsile w/ wifey...y'all bugg out and have an argument either the police are called(you are going to jail..you have prior domestic violence arrest) or her family will come knocking at your door again ready to beat you down:beating . Is your marriage worth all that?? If it is, I commend you.

Ain't this the same woman that took ALL YOUR furniture and dipped????

[Bedroomeyes]

No one can tell you what to do.. This is between you and her.. Since you are questioning it.. I take it that you are having doubts about divorcing...

But.. like asked before... Why haven't you spoke in over 5 months and why did it take papers for you to question it now??

[djackso]

I don't have doubts but some people are questioning my decision.

[Toffee]

Well I don't have doubts about your decision just a litte confused as to why i took getting papers for all this to come out. But then again seeing the papers can make it seem in final.

[ThickBodyHottie]

Originally posted by djackso+
I don't have doubts but some people are questioning my decision.

so what if your decision's not popular? you are the one that has to live with what you left...

[shtalker]

I do agree with the majority of the post about talking to her but hat is if only you want to work it out.
But like Thick said if your decision is final damn what the others say. You have to live with it not them. Your happiness is of the upmost importance. Hell you have a long life a head and deserves someone that is going to love and respect you.

[Andre98]

Originally posted by Bedroomeyes+
No one can tell you what to do.. This is between you and her.. Since you are questioning it.. I take it that you are having doubts about divorcing...

But.. like asked before... Why haven't you spoke in over 5 months and why did it take papers for you to question it now??

I agree with BE
Plain and simple.... it's personal.

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by djackso+
I don't have doubts but some people are questioning my decision.

Bruh, are those some people wearing your shoes~???!! :confused: Didn't think so~!!!

It shouldn't matter what they are questioning. . . do what you gotta do~!!!

Like it's been stated already. . . this is personal. . . no matter what advice we give you here. . . which may or may not be helpful. . . you have to live with it~!!

Good Luck~!! ;)