Losing a Friend

[Toffee]

Has anyone lost a friend... Whether your fault or theirs? I have lost one. But the reason just showed me she wasn't my friend in the beginning. I also lost another one.... I guess I got back luck with friends.

[dns70]

I have had friends where due to life decisions and maturity we kinda grew apart and aren't as close as we used to be, but never lost a friend.

[KissableSexyShortStuff]

Yes I have... Most recent back in May...... He was doing something I didn't like when I asked him to stop he continued to do it. I asked him again to stop and he did it again. So...... I cussed him out..... He in turn didnt talk or tell me for a month what was wrong.


I felt because he couldn't come to me when I went off we really didnt have a friendship to start..... He felt I should have said I was sorry when I didnt felt I didnt do anything wrong. To make a long story short.... I basicly told him if he couldn't come to me maybe we didnt have a friendship to start so that's how it ended with me hanging thephone up..........

[HulaSista]

no...can't say i have.

like dns...maturity and the ageing process (!) allowed me and others to grow apart.

there are some that may feel like they may have lost me as a friend. but, they don't count do they?:blah:

[14KBlaqWmn]

Losing a friend can be quite hurtful. But when you really think about it, it just makes you realize that they were never your friend in the first place.

[Qjai]

Originally posted by 14KBlaqWmn+
Losing a friend can be quite hurtful. But when you really think about it, it just makes you realize that they were never your friend in the first place.

The last time I thought I lost a friend, turned out...they were never my friend in the first place...so like BW said, sometimes you realize you didnt' really lose much if anything at all.

[nubianx2]

Someone no longer being in your life doesn't necessarily mean that they were never a true friend. I tend to believe that some people that come into your life are only meant to be there for a certain purpose or phase in your life.

[dns70]

I'm going to take contention with your comment.

A lot of times we say "well, he wasn't really your friend to begin with"...is that really true? I mean, we're all human and in actuality, that person may think that you never really were their friend. I think we say that to make ourselves feel better, but when it comes down to it, a lot of times, we let pride, anger, strife and other base emotions get in the way of our friendships. Yeah, sometimes people do behave in ways or do things that a true friend would have never done. But sometimes, we get offended by our friends, and instead of working it out, we let it get out of hand.

[yendys]

Originally posted by nubianx2+
Someone no longer being in your life doesn't necessarily mean that they were never a true friend. I tend to believe that some people that come into your life are only meant to be there for a certain purpose or phase in your life.

I agree totally. I had a best friend in high school who was sickly and we were inseparable for years. I was something like a protector for her and she was the same way with me so to speak. We even lived together for a while, but as time passed, she needed me less and I needed her less as well. We are still friends, but from afar. I guess we outgrew one another and our purpose for the friendship was complete.

[14KBlaqWmn]

Originally posted by dns70+
I'm going to take contention with your comment.

A lot of times we say "well, he wasn't really your friend to begin with"...is that really true? I mean, we're all human and in actuality, that person may think that you never really were their friend. I think we say that to make ourselves feel better, but when it comes down to it, a lot of times, we let pride, anger, strife and other base emotions get in the way of our friendships. Yeah, sometimes people do behave in ways or do things that a true friend would have never done. But sometimes, we get offended by our friends, and instead of working it out, we let it get out of hand.

Shod, I'll say it like this.....actions speak much louder than words thus the reason for my first response. All I ask from people is to treat me with the same kind of respect that you would want me to show towards you. That doesn't mean that I'm angry or any other negative emotion with that person cause that's not the case. What happens 9 times out of 10 is that the "friend" slacks off. I can try my best to stay in contact and check on them and so forth, but if they really don't want to hear from me or try to maintain the friendship, it's out of my hands. I've done my part.

[OhSoPrecious]

I've only lost touch with friends of mine . . . can't say that I have ever lost their friendship~!! :cool: :p

[Qjai]

Originally posted by 14KBlaqWmn+


I can try my best to stay in contact and check on them and so forth, but if they really don't want to hear from me or try to maintain the friendship, it's out of my hands. I've done my part.
Exactly..

And perhaps they are thinking that I wasn't really their friend also...but If we cannot communicate as adults (especially if there is some sort of problem/misunderstanding/drama), then what can I do. I can't make you talk to me or open up to me. Thats what makes me think well hmmm, I guess my friendship didn't mean enough to you to give me an opportunity to understand why we aren't close or talking anymore. Other than that, i can't say I've lost any friends, I've grown apart from quite a few though.

[Tastey]

Hmmmm

I've lost lots of friends...

But the one that sticks out the most is the girl I considered my BEST FRIEND up until a few months ago. I guess technically we are still friends but we never talk anymore.

We used to work together, saw each other everyday, and on the weekends. Talked on the phone daily. But when I lost my job last year...I lost my best friend with it. She for whatever reason, was in fear for her job because management knew we were close so she cut ties with me to save her job.

I guess I could understand that, I mean she's a single mother of 2 kids...but I still miss her...

For awhile I would call her, still try to be her friend...but soon it became obvious...this was not was SHE wanted....so I moved on...

[lightandlovely1]

I lost a friend. I literally supported her when her when her own family couldn't. I bought her groceries, clothes for her kids, etc. We had been friends for 15 years. She got hooked on the pipe and stole from me. I had to cut her loose at that point.

[MsMeelah]

Yes I have.. She has been my friend for years. Even after high school when I moved away we kept in contact. She actually came out and lived with me for a few months but got pregant and came back to DC. But as we got older it seems as if she was always trying to compete with me in everything. Whenever I wanted to share something good with her, she had something negative to say. When I went to her for a shoulder to cry on, she poured salt in my wounds. There is a difference between "keeping it real" and being just plain negative. It also seemed as if she was jealous of my relationship w/ my best friend.
Anyway, I don't think she purposely meant to bring me down but she did. So I had to sever ties.

[swtjamaica]

...one in particular gave me her ass to kiss once before, and like a fool, a few years later, we got cool again....she gave me her ass to kiss again, but this time i didn't even know it...she wasn't my friend to begin with.....