Forced

[seductive_tee]

Do women force commitment on men to soon, if so, in what ways?

[shtalker]

Some women probably do but most don't. I guess they are thinking if I am in a relationship and everything is going good and you feel like it should go to the next level why not talk to that person to see how they are feeling and If the feelings are mutual then hey there is the committed relationship but both of the people should be on the same page in order to be in a committed relationship.

[nubianx2]

I see it more as convince than force. We do have the power to convince a man into a committment, but often we find that it's better to let things happen on their own.

[Sparkles]

force committment on a man. I think folks definition of committment varies from person to person, which is another topic. However how long "should" a person wait for a person decide if he or she want to committ to you? I feel like a lot folks relate time invested to committment. I mean like shtalker mentioned, the couple needs to be on the same page, but if the woman is committed to her man, but he isn't totally committed to her, well is that a committed relationship?!?! I guess that goes back to the varies degrees of committment!

[ThickBodyHottie]

thye are stupid if they do...who'd want to force a dog to stay in a little doghouse when he's not trained to and has a big ol' yard to run around in? he'll eventually play doberman and turn on you...

[misha]

I had an interesting conversation with someone yesterday about this subject....he told me that as a culture, we have a tendency to try to mold and manipulate things, including commitment. He told me that it is more about our people as a whole having to struggle and fight for everything we get, and it has caused us to do that in our relationships as well.

He told me that is one of the biggest reasons that black men go to white women....figure it, black women come from a culture of struggle. White women come from a culture of priviledge. Two totally different perspectives, two totally different approaches to life.

I am not sure if this is true, but it has made me do alot of thinking about this.

To answer the question, I think that sometimes a woman will deliver an ultimatum in order to get what she wants....but then what happens if it backfires?

[Toffee]

I do think women do this... But I have always been the one afraid of commitement.. I tend to run as soon as a man gets to close.

[Tastey]

I don't think women force it but I think oftentimes women are ready for committment alot sooner than men so it seems as if they are being manipulative or forceful.

I know for me if a guy gets a 2nd date with me he's already passed 99% of my criteria. lol :p

But men don't even start thinking in those terms until 3 or 4 dates. They just want to go out with someone attractive.

[OhSoPrecious]

I'm not one to force anything on a man. . however, I do know some women that do and I find that those men that were forced (by these women), the relationships/marriages didn't last too long afterwards~!! :rolleyes:

I heard someone say that the quicker they got into something, the quicker it ended~!!

[MsMeelah]

Yes we do.Some us of make the mistake of giving him all the benefits of having a committed relationship right away and we think that is going to make him want to rush into a commitment. :rolleyes:

[que90nek]

i've had some do this....

it is very annoying. i call them on it and they say that they are positively projecting....CLAIMING victory....

all the while...i'm thinking....i can't wait to get out of this one.

[SeaDuceme2]

Yes I think women do this..Women don't date and really get to know a man..women go out with the same guy 3 or 4 times and instantly he is "my man" and when the same feelings aren't reciprocated..committment issues arise.

or either women put a timetable on a relationship...ie. we been seeing/living together each 2 years....."where my ring?"

we have a child or children, some women equate this with guaranteed commitment.

[swtjamaica]

...will do EXACTLY what Ducey said...to add to my homey's post, SOME women think that constant sex means commitment...dumb asses....but i digress...i think SOME women will try to manipulate a man into a commitment, which in turn causes him to leave her high and dry...once again....dumb asses...

[lightandlovely1]

I think women do but I don't think we think about commitment in the same way. I think because "good" women don't do certain things (things which are natural to us as human beings), we tend to look for a way to do those things and still be "good" And I believe that it's something that we do subconsciously.

Men, on the other hand, are "just being men" or "sowing their wild oats" and aren't considered "good" or "bad" and it takes them longer to feel the need for commitment.

In my opinion, what we don't seem to realize is that it's ok to commit early on as long as you don't try to convince yourself that it will be a lifetime commitment. I'm fine with committing for a period of time and realize that I (and the man) will need to re-evaluate periodically until we have established a firm foundation.

Also, it's very difficult to many any person, male or female, commit to anything before they are ready for it.

[lightandlovely1]

Originally posted by Tastey+
...

I know for me if a guy gets a 2nd date with me he's already passed 99% of my criteria. lol :p

...


I'm with you on this Tastey, I will go out with anyone who strikes my fancy once and maybe twice to confirm my initial impressions. It is extremely hard to get me to commit to a 2nd or 3rd date. By the time we get to 4, I'm pretty sure that I want to be still with you for a minute.

But women aren't the only ones trying to force commitment, men do it as well. I'm not sure I want a commitment at the moment but I sure seem to be running into men who do - and they also try to force a commitment on you, and I think they are more manipulative than women are.

[Brightness]

I understanding being open, honest & feeling a man but there are times when you GIVE to much to a man that hasn't ASKED for it. . .it's all well & good to make it known what your feelings are or what direction you'd like to be heading but it still needs to be a mutual choice/decision. . .

As far as some of the ways in which women can do this: expecting phone calls/up-to-the-minute reports, taking for granted that the weekends are "theirs" when it comes to that man, wanting to introduce him to friends & family. . .this right here is a personal pet peeve of mine. I've had men try to introduce me and I ain't on it. If we happen to be together and run across your peeps, fine but I ain't for that orchestrated b.s. of falling through a B-B-Q to meet all the kinfolks and be put on display.


Originally posted by MsMeelah+
Yes we do. Some us of make the mistake of giving him all the benefits of having a committed relationship right away and we think that is going to make him want to rush into a commitment. :rolleyes:

[HulaSista]

Yano what's funny? When you ain't trippin over the commitment thing... and they ask you out... and you say "i got a date with someoen else" they trip... "i thought you and me were, er...uh...exclusive"

"no. we ain't committed" exclusive and committed is the same thing to me.

some times they think committ to being each others' only date WITHOUT committment and pressures of a relationship meaning we don't date others folks til we decide if we want to commit to each ohter.

please.

i think committment comes in phase 4 of my dating process. but hell, now that i just realized a month ago that the man should seek the woman and not vice versa, that puts a whole nother spin on when committment begins.

until he is ready, i don't trip over it. until then we are just "friends" - platonic and not otherwise. and i will continue to date til he commits to court me faithfully.

[Deelicious]

Originally posted by HulaSista+
Yano what's funny? When you ain't trippin over the commitment thing... and they ask you out... and you say "i got a date with someoen else" they trip... "i thought you and me were, er...uh...exclusive"

"no. we ain't committed" exclusive and committed is the same thing to me.

some times they think committ to being each others' only date WITHOUT committment and pressures of a relationship meaning we don't date others folks til we decide if we want to commit to each ohter.

please.

i think committment comes in phase 4 of my dating process. but hell, now that i just realized a month ago that the man should seek the woman and not vice versa, that puts a whole nother spin on when committment begins.

until he is ready, i don't trip over it. until then we are just "friends" - platonic and not otherwise. and i will continue to date til he commits to court me faithfully.


I agree with every word 100%