What if?

[14KBlaqWmn]

Here are a few scenarios to think about. What would you do if you were placed in any of these situations. DON'T THINK LONG AND HARD ON IT. ANSWER WITH WHATEVER FIRST CROSSES YOUR MIND

1. If you and your spouse/SO haven't had sex in months, but have been getting along fine, what would you think is the reason why you two no longer have sex? Why would you think that that was the reason? How would you deal with the situation?

2. What if your spouse/SO had a physical problem that left them impotent or unable to perform sexually. How would you deal with it?

3. If your spouse/SO is in a terrible accident that leaves them handicapped (such as a paraplegic). How would you deal with the situation?

4. You have a bi-racial child. When that child gets to kindergarten, he/she realizes that he/she is different than the other children and wants to know why. How do you explain it?

5. To add to #4, your bi-racial child wants to know more about their other heritage. Would you help them to learn about it? How would you go about helping them if you chose to help?

6. You're helping your parent(s) to clean out the attic. You come across a folder that has important papers in them. As you're reading you find a document signifying that you were adopted. You did not know this information beforehand. What would you do?

7. You're about to get married. As you're walking down the aisle/standing at the altar the little voice in your head is telling you not to marry this person. What would you do?

[Toffee]

1) I would think he was cheating

2) I would stay with him... I didn't marry him for the sex.

3) Buy a home that was handicapp accessible. Try to understand what is expected of me. What things I have to do. See if we need to hire a nurse to help out at home.

4) That's a tough one. I think I would ask a biracial person. I would want to make sure that my child has high self-esteem. But in that case I think that u have to explain that children can be cruel..etc......

5) I would like to think that the father would be involved in his child's life.. Or the grandparents, etc... But I would help my child..

6) I would bring it to my parents. I'm not sure if I would want to locate my birth parents. I think I would have a right to know. Why wait till I need a kidney or something. I wouldn't love my parents any less if I found out I was adopted.. ( I want to adopt children myself).

7) I would get married.. I know I would be the one to get cold feet. I think I would be questioning it after I said yes to the engagement.

[HulaSista]

1. If you and your spouse/SO haven't had sex in months, but have been getting along fine, what would you think is the reason why you two no longer have sex? Why would you think that that was the reason? How would you deal with the situation?

it wouldn't even get this far. i would be wondering after 2 weeks and asking a whole lotta questions. i don't allow myself to guess at anything. i expect for him to tell me.

2. What if your spouse/SO had a physical problem that left them impotent or unable to perform sexually. How would you deal with it?

i would continue to love them and satisfy them sexually using the mind in the most creative and satisfying way that we both can explore and enjoy. he still got fingers and a mouth.

3. If your spouse/SO is in a terrible accident that leaves them handicapped (such as a paraplegic). How would you deal with the situation?

i will make sure the bills get paid, he goes to his appointments on time, gets fed and dress well, continue to work and keep the insurance up, hire a nurse to come in and see about him, hire a relative to keep check on the nurse so she dont fuck up; we will travel and go places and learn how to adapt to a handicap household!

4. You have a bi-racial child. When that child gets to kindergarten, he/she realizes that he/she is different than the other children and wants to know why. How do you explain it?

i do have a biracial child; he already knows there is a difference, but, it doesn't bother him yet in a negative manner. he sees both families and other friends in school as normal. this is because we have not made an issue out of him being biracial yet.

5. To add to #4, your bi-racial child wants to know more about their other heritage. Would you help them to learn about it? How would you go about helping them if you chose to help?

his other heritage is already involved and this would be fairly easy considering he is on both sides at equal lengths. he is already learning

6. You're helping your parent(s) to clean out the attic. You come across a folder that has important papers in them. As you're reading you find a document signifying that you were adopted. You did not know this information beforehand. What would you do?

cry.....ask a lot of questions....run away....just pack up my shit, quit my job and be gone.....

7. You're about to get married. As you're walking down the aisle/standing at the altar the little voice in your head is telling you not to marry this person. What would you do?

marry him anyways

[14KBlaqWmn]

I'm really anxious to see what the male responses will be to the last question.

[Tastey]

Here are a few scenarios to think about. What would you do if you were placed in any of these situations. DON'T THINK LONG AND HARD ON IT. ANSWER WITH WHATEVER FIRST CROSSES YOUR MIND

1. If you and your spouse/SO haven't had sex in months, but have been getting along fine, what would you think is the reason why you two no longer have sex? Why would you think that that was the reason? How would you deal with the situation?

I have been there and I thought at the time he was cheating...I was right.

2. What if your spouse/SO had a physical problem that left them impotent or unable to perform sexually. How would you deal with it?

If his tongue still works...we are cool. :p

3. If your spouse/SO is in a terrible accident that leaves them handicapped (such as a paraplegic). How would you deal with the situation?

I'd do whatever was necessary to make life easier and our home accessible.

4. You have a bi-racial child. When that child gets to kindergarten, he/she realizes that he/she is different than the other children and wants to know why. How do you explain it?
The same as I explained race to my son. He wanted to know at 3 why there were brown people and white people. I explained that God made people different just like the crayons in his box.

5. To add to #4, your bi-racial child wants to know more about their other heritage. Would you help them to learn about it? How would you go about helping them if you chose to help?

I would tell them to talk to their other parent who of course could answer more questions about it than I ever could.

6. You're helping your parent(s) to clean out the attic. You come across a folder that has important papers in them. As you're reading you find a document signifying that you were adopted. You did not know this information beforehand. What would you do?

Nothing. It would not matter to me

7. You're about to get married. As you're walking down the aisle/standing at the altar the little voice in your head is telling you not to marry this person. What would you do?

Turn around and go home. I have a discerning spirit and am rarely wrong when I have a "feeling" about something. To me this would be holy spirit letting me know not to marry this person and I would definately heed the warning.

[14KBlaqWmn]

8. What if you were dating someone for 8 years and during the courtship you have had 2 children. The relationship has always been great and wonderful. No complaints. Finally you both decide to marry, and things are still great, but after a year of marriage, your SO leaves you penniless and with the 2 children in the middle of the night. No warning that this would happen. How would you handle the situation?

9. If you've had a beef with someone and they were to die unsuddenly today, how would you feel? How would you handle those feelings?

10. If the end of time were to happen today, would you be ready? What things would you try to accomplish before the end? Why would you choose to do those things?

[Toffee]

8) I would not have been a relationship for 8 yrs and had children out of wedlock.... But if my husband left me penniless I would contact my old boss who is the President of the Chicago Bar Association and hit him up hard..... and if we had children in this marriage I would be getting the man's tax return checks till my children turned 18.

9) Unfortunately I don't have beef with anyone... I try to be a good person... But if I did I would have to first forgive myself...and ask for forgiveness from my God.

10) I don't think there is anything I would do... Everyone knows how I feel about them.. I don't want to be the one that say I wish I woulda said. But I would just like to spend those last days with the ones I love.

[HulaSista]

8. What if you were dating someone for 8 years and during the courtship you have had 2 children. The relationship has always been great and wonderful. No complaints. Finally you both decide to marry, and things are still great, but after a year of marriage, your SO leaves you penniless and with the 2 children in the middle of the night. No warning that this would happen. How would you handle the situation?

Wow.....move back home and restart my life...

And something similar happened to me. The difference is that we have one child and I left him and ended up with bad credit as a result. I basically did just that....stayed home and restart my life.


9. If you've had a beef with someone and they were to die unsuddenly today, how would you feel? How would you handle those feelings?

Ask for forgiveness for my ill demeaner.

10. If the end of time were to happen today, would you be ready? What things would you try to accomplish before the end? Why would you choose to do those things?

wow...when i think of end of time...i think of the rapture, therefore, i think we are close to that point. if it had already happen, then, i would not have been ready because I wasn't taken up. but, am i ready today, i believe I am. one of my main accomplishments would be to learn how to evangelize and practice it. as well as continue to grow stronger and closer to God.

[Brightness]

1) I would most likely attribute it to work or just being burnt out on the actual act of copulation. I wouldn't imagine that this would last too long though if I had a mate. . .some special occasion, birthday, anniversary or something would happen for us to get our groove on again.

2) Spouse would get more consideration than an S/O, meaning I would weather the storm if I were married but not necessarily true if it was an S/O. . .it may depend upon how long and tight our bond was.

3) See #2 -- same answer

4) I would have probably previously explained their heritage from about the ages of 2-3 when they can begin to notice differences but not really understand them or have to be subjected to outside opinions which I'm sure is what would happen in a school setting.

5) I would have no reason to hide their lineage from them. . .I would hope that if I had enough sense to lay down with another nationality that I'd be able to point it out on a world map and be able to explain some of the history, however limited that might be. Now, if I didn't know a whole lot then I would go to the library or seek out friends that might be able to help me. The only scenarios that I see this as being an issue with is when it comes to religion or strict disciplines of culture which if the child still had contact with the "other side of the family" they might come into contact. IE. . if I got down with a Chinese or Japanese man, there are certain cultural things that I would want them to understand or be made aware.

6) I would be a little annoyed that they kept the information from me and would set about with the questions. But if there's one thing I know, it's that the older generation sure in the heck knew how to keep their mouths shut or how to respect a vow of silence. . .nowadays folks are all up on t.v. and in the courthouse trying to bust a mofo out.

7) Unless I had verifiable proof that I shouldn't then I would just attribute it to nerves, take a deep breath and carry on.

8) All I could do is pray for strength. . .

9) I would feel some remorse at not having been able to settle our differences or to ease my spirit of that burdern.

10) Not sure. . .I guess I wouldn't have a choice in the matter really aside from trying to daily enrich my life and live it to the best of my ability. I can't really think of anything I'd want to do aside from travelling and see more of the earth.

[lovely]

Originally posted by Tastey+

Turn around and go home. I have a discerning spirit and am rarely wrong when I have a "feeling" about something. To me this would be holy spirit letting me know not to marry this person and I would definately heed the warning.

But wouldnt the Holy Spirit let you know this way before you got to the point of marrying him?

[HulaSista]

get any male responses to this thread... huh 14k?

do the newbies want to add to this?

[Tastey]

Originally posted by lovely+


But wouldnt the Holy Spirit let you know this way before you got to the point of marrying him?

Sorry Lovely I'm not sure why I didn't see your question when this was original.

Anyhoo. I can't say for sure if they spirit would tell me this waaaaaay before or right before. The spirit has it's own timetable.
But I know even since posting this that when the Spirit speaks to me. I need to listen. Last time I didn't. I heard it "loud and clear" and did what I wanted to do anyway. I so regretted it! :(

Never again.

[Tastey]

8. What if you were dating someone for 8 years and during the courtship you have had 2 children. The relationship has always been great and wonderful. No complaints. Finally you both decide to marry, and things are still great, but after a year of marriage, your SO leaves you penniless and with the 2 children in the middle of the night. No warning that this would happen. How would you handle the situation?
This is a situation I can honestly say I'd NEVER be in. If we were not married by the time I got pregnant with the 2nd child, I would have walked out. Also no man will ever leave me penniless because I have been alone too long to EVER depend on a man to support me. It would be NICE if my spouse does that, but I know how to survive alone with a child. Been doing it a long time.

9. If you've had a beef with someone and they were to die unsuddenly today, how would you feel? How would you handle those feelings? I have no beef with anyone in this world. I have no ill feelings towards anyone. The reason being whenever someone has beef with me, I try to solve it, apologize if neccessary, and move on. If that person continues to have beef with me that's on them. If they died I would feel saddened at their death but know that my concious is clear. I'd also hope that theirs was as well.

10. If the end of time were to happen today, would you be ready? What things would you try to accomplish before the end? Why would you choose to do those things?
I am ready in the sense that I am right with God, but I am not ready in the sense that I would like for my child to grow to adulthood, I would like to experience other things in my life. But if the end comes, I'd accept that

[D2daO2da]

1. Could be a bunch of things, stress, impotence, HER... lol. A new baby.. Shit I didn't get no ass for months after my son was born. I would talk about it. I would send the PI to follow her

2. Don't know. Depends on my maturity level at the time.

3. IPrayer.

4. well I wouldn't hide a side of his/her existance. Shouldn't be a prob. I'm yellow, white folks raped my ancestors.

5. They will know it all.. heck would like them to learn the language too. Won't be no "Imitation to Life" movie here.

6. Take out an insurance policy on them and light a match. Just Kidding, I had an ex that found that out when she was in high school, fucked her up a little. It depends on how my life was up to that point. If they raised me to be who I am today, they get props and all my love. If they negelected me, I'd cut them loose and break out. I wouldn't care to go on Montel or Rikki Lake.

7. Tell to Devil to Be Gone...