Marriage?

[lovely]

If you are married...what is the best thing about it? The worse thing?

If you are not married..what do you think would be the best thing about it? The worse thing?

I am not married (thank God:D ), but i think the best thing about being married would be that i could finally have someone take care of me. As a single parent i am tired of having to make all the decisions and take care of every single thing that occurs. When the time comes for me to get married..i will sit back and enjoy watching my husband take control of those things.
The worse thing is that i tire easily of people. I cant imagine being with the same person day in..day out...day in...day out.:rolleyes:

[Brightness]

Thank you! . . . Not every single mother has or will experience the phenomenon of the world resting on their shoulders day after day and being the CHIEF decision maker . . . I'm just waiting for the day when I can 'blame' somebody else when things don't go right :D . . . Nah, I'd settle for having a partner in crime.


Originally posted by lovely+

I am not married (thank God:D ), but i think the best thing about being married would be that i could finally have someone take care of me. As a single parent i am tired of having to make all the decisions and take care of every single thing that occurs. When the time comes for me to get married..i will sit back and enjoy watching my husband take control of those things.

[Tastey]

The best thing:
When I get horny in bed at night all I have to do is roll over. lol :p

Seriously I think the best would be having someone there. Most of the time I don't really think about being single but late at night when my son has gone to sleep, and I've locked all the doors and turned off all the lights...that's when I think about it...and think how good it would be to have someone to just cuddle up next to and fall asleep. I have my teddy bear...but it ain't the same. Trust.

The worst thing:
Having to answer to someone. I've been on my own so long I think it would be an adjustment to learn to consult someone else and take into account what they want before making decisions. But honestly I think I would welcome it because sometimes my head hurts from having to make so many decisions. lol

[CD]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tastey+
[B]The best thing:When I get horny in bed at night all I have to do is roll over.[B][QUOTE]


You are in for a big surpise!!!

[Tastey]

Originally posted by CD+
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tastey+
[B]The best thing:When I get horny in bed at night all I have to do is roll over.[B][QUOTE]


You are in for a big surpise!!!

CD what you mean? LOL :p

Man, you better be able to do something for a sister...if you are out of Viagra then you got a hand, and a tongue.

I will divorce a nigga he try to say no after I been single this damn long. Oh hell no! LOL :p :p

[lovely]

Originally posted by Tastey+


I will divorce a nigga he try to say no after I been single this damn long. Oh hell no! LOL :p :p

And you know this!!!!

[que90nek]

Originally posted by CD+
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tastey+
[B]The best thing:When I get horny in bed at night all I have to do is roll over.[B][QUOTE]


You are in for a big surpise!!!

lol...i was thinkin the same thing!!!

[Tastey]

Que,

Like I told CD...I will DIVORCE a nigga with the quickness. TRUST.

God ordained sex in marriage why would I get married and then not have sex???? :confused:

I know that sometimes men have to deal with ungrateful biatches who won't give them sex in marriage because they are playing mind games...but Tastey is not that type of woman.

Secondly, men rarely withhold sex from their wives as a mind game so I don't think I would have that problem. LOL :p

If I did, ya'll best believe I will be flying to Mexico for a quickie divorce. lol :p

[que90nek]

spoken like a true person not married!

married ladies...please help her out....especially those that have been married more than 5 years.....

[mystkev]

The best thing about getting married would be getting out of my mother's house, finding someone who can put up w/me for a long period of time (it's not easy to do), having someone that I can practice things with on a regular basis, and having someone that I can start a financial future with.


The worst thing about getting married would be cooking and cleaning. My mama does that for me now.

[Tastey]

Originally posted by que90nek+
spoken like a true person not married!

married ladies...please help her out....especially those that have been married more than 5 years.....

No Que,
You help me out. You are married. :rolleyes:

I understand logical reason for not having sex, but I also understand that the Bible states a wife should not deny her husband without just cause.

Now if you or CD or whoever choose to run your marriage differently...cool. But TRUST...I am like no other woman you have ever known before. My marriage won't be like that because first of all...

I'm not gonna rush into it...
I've seen too many bad marriages to know how not to repeat it...
I'm going to marry the right person for the RIGHT reason...

Lastly, I have spent 37 years unmarried, I am NOT going to marry then sit around being miserable 1/2 the time moaning...it ain't that simple...or you just don't understand.

My SINGLE life has taught me that if you put up with bullsh*t...bullsh*t is what you will have.

My MARRIED life with be better and different. TRUST.

[que90nek]

ok....

it is that "just cause" that i am referring to.

you work
she works

we both tired...

u wake up with an itch...and want me to scratch it....

how inconsiderate of u....FOLLOW.


i do understand that sometimes you will get your itch scratched....
but....we are not machines....and neither are u.

[Tastey]

Originally posted by que90nek+
ok....

it is that "just cause" that i am referring to.

you work
she works

we both tired...

u wake up with an itch...and want me to scratch it....

how inconsiderate of u....FOLLOW.


i do understand that sometimes you will get your itch scratched....
but....we are not machines....and neither are u.

LOL...Glad I didn't marry you.

Cus see...Tastey itches ALL THE TIME. lol

Tired don't matter to me. lol :p

I also feel that sometimes even if that rare once in a blue moon occasion occurs that I don't itch...LOVE...UNCONDITIONAL EVERLASTING LOVE...will let me scratch you anyway.

Marriage is not about how I feel...or you feel...but how WE feel. :)

[Sparkles]

Well tastey i itch often too, but it seems even after all this time, my s/o seem to still get the itch much more than me.:eek:

I think the best part of being marriied is exactly what you ladies mentioned having some one there, but also knowing someone else got my back whether I have fallen or not. Not to worry by myself and things like that.

The worse part for me is probably being obedient. Sometimes I still just wont to make dicisions by myself, even though I know my choices affect more than just me. Compromise is not always a bad word, and it has work for US.....

[Reesecup1]

My thing is two is better than one....Someone to be there to lift me up, when I have fallen down. Someone who can deal with all of my shortcomings, who will be patient with me (cause I am a little Sloooooow) and one who will do the best he can in keeping me happy, as I would try to do for him. One who is not selfish, and willing to make sacrifices for his family, if it means putting his wants aside....

Being the fact that I am still young, I may not have all of the qualities in a mate, that a man would want, however I know that with time, I would grow into the mature, understanding, positive female that a man would want and could deal with.

[dulce]

Originally posted by Tastey+
...Seriously I think the best would be having someone there. Most of the time I don't really think about being single but late at night when my son has gone to sleep, and I've locked all the doors and turned off all the lights...that's when I think about it...and think how good it would be to have someone to just cuddle up next to and fall asleep.

Also having someone to share in the decision making, handling the daily stuff (picking up kids, dinner, errands), etc. It is so much easier when you can share those responsibilities with someone. And I am traditional in the sense that I want the husband to go along with the child, the house & the golden retriever...had to get rid of the first one (spouse) but sure the right one is in my future.

The worst part of being married is not even really soemthing I consider "worst". It's just the adjustments & compromises that can be difficult initially...but I'm all for marriage and will do it again when I run across my soulmate...

[SoftNwet]

The Best part: To know that you have a companion that you can turn to and know that he will be there, and know that when he needs someone you can be there for him as well.

The Worst part: To have to learn to have a Head as set forth in the Bible. I have been on my own for so long I can see that that may be a problem for me initially.

[MsMeelah]

Originally posted by que90nek+
ok....


i do understand that sometimes you will get your itch scratched....
but....we are not machines.....


Thats why I will keep my battery operated "machine" right in the nightstand drawer...lol

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by lovely+
If you are not married..what do you think would be the best thing about it?

The best thing would be to have someone to share this thing we call LIFE. . with~!! ;) Life is good~!!!

I do not care to elaborate on what would be the worst thing~!! :rolleyes:

[misha]

The only thing that I could see would be the worst thing, is you didn't choose the right person. That would be hell.

The best thing about marriage is sharing your life with someone. Good and Bad. Knowing that person is there for you and you are there for them.

I too, have been on my own for a long time. it was kind of funny. Last weekend, my honey came here to visit with me. I picked him up at O'hare, and got ready for the 200 mile drive to my little town. I was a little taken back when he slid into the drivers seat and smiled at me. For about the first 20 miles, I was uncomfortable. The only man that had ever driven my car was my 82 year old father. Plus, he wasn't from here, I was worried he would get lost, and I am just not used to riding in the passenger seat. Once I began to get comfortable, I sat back and left him alone. He looked over at me and gave me a big goofy grin and we both started giggling. I could get used to this fast.

[HulaSista]

If you are not married..what do you think would be the best thing about it? The worse thing?

Best: Share good and bad times with someone else instead of dealing with it alone.

Worst: Learning how to compromise when i am still mad! lol

:D

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by misha+
I could get used to this fast.

I was just telling someone this the other night~!! :cool:

[misha]

It can be difficult giving that trust. You have to believe that the man has your best interests at heart. That is not easy.

But there is nothing like trusting someone that has earned it. I love letting a man be the man. I had just forgotten how.

[HulaSista]

Glad I came back to read Que and CD's posts...

I agree with the ladies (especially Tastey and Misha).

May I add Mr. Cd and Mr. Que, the bible says that the ONLY (Que, go look for the dictionary for the word ONLY)... the ONLY time a man and a woman should do without sex, is if it is MUTUALLY agreed upon. (and i believe that only time is when worship/praise/prayer is being given to God by one or the other. )

Therefore, if God ordained that we submit to one another (even if that means we don't feel like it ...(read: tired) ) then we should do just that.

If you don't do all you are suppose to do in your marriage as GOD ORDAINED, then, what do you expect?

I can go on and on and on... but, if God said it, I believe, and I am gonna take him at his word (and submit to my husband and EXPECT my husband to submit to me.).

You used the example, Que, that you work i work we tired. If that is the case, then, how come, 1 month after i just gave birth to our new born, you work, i work, we are tired yet YOU (the man) expect me to fuck then tell me a bunch of crazy mess if i don't?

I say that because a lot of women DO use their children as an excuse of being tired and not fulfilling their husbands needs. At the same time, the husbands "i waited 9 months, when we go have sex" antics, is nothing but his expectations (as God ordained) for his wife to submit to him.

Now, with that analogy, what do you (or anyone else) think?

I knew this question was gonna spark that "you unmarried people think you know everything" type of attitude from someone. But, there is a reason why us unmarried people wait to be married. We want to BASK IN THE JOY of having to have married the CORRECT AND CHOSEN person. That's the difference that perhaps you cannot see in 2 persons yielding to one another sexually. (Marrying the one God did not choose for you... some of ya'll know what i am talking about...)

And i hate to be sarcastic, but hell, why the hell not:

if you are married, and your spouse ain't giving it up UNSELFISHLY the way he/she is suppose to. Ya'll BOTH need to read Songs of Solomon and wisen up.

[Brightness]

Is this the man giving shampoos & pedicures?

If so, he sounds like a keeper. . .he wouldn't have to worry about "flying in" anywhere because I'd be on him like static cling.



Originally posted by misha+
The only thing that I could see would be the worst thing, is you didn't choose the right person. That would be hell.

The best thing about marriage is sharing your life with someone. Good and Bad. Knowing that person is there for you and you are there for them.

I too, have been on my own for a long time. it was kind of funny. Last weekend, my honey came here to visit with me. I picked him up at O'hare, and got ready for the 200 mile drive to my little town. I was a little taken back when he slid into the drivers seat and smiled at me. For about the first 20 miles, I was uncomfortable. The only man that had ever driven my car was my 82 year old father. Plus, he wasn't from here, I was worried he would get lost, and I am just not used to riding in the passenger seat. Once I began to get comfortable, I sat back and left him alone. He looked over at me and gave me a big goofy grin and we both started giggling. I could get used to this fast.

[Brightness]

That's the exact reason why I am dismissing brothers left and right. . .they want to be in a relationship but are still selfish

Originally posted by misha+
It can be difficult giving that trust. You have to believe that the man has your best interests at heart. That is not easy.

But there is nothing like trusting someone that has earned it. I love letting a man be the man. I had just forgotten how.

[misha]

Yes Bright. It sure is the same man. And that is my plan girl.

As a single mother, I had been handling things for so long on my own, it was unsettling to trust a man like that, even with little things. But to trust a man that you know you can trust, is so satisfying. I never had that. Even during my marriage. That is one of the reasons we divorced.

[Tastey]

You broke it down for them Biblically didn't you.

Thank you...thank you.

But the problem is MyHulaSista...very few people waited for the one GOD chose for them before marrying. :(

And...it is also my belief...that if GOD did not ordain your marriage. You are legally married...but not spiritually married.

That doesn't mean you married in a church, by a minister. What that means is GOD chose this person for you, therefore this marriage was ordained by him.

I could go tomorrow and MARRY anybody, in the church by a minister. But it is my belief that if God did not choose him for me, and God did not ordain it...I ain't married.

Hula I have to find for you a topic from another message board I go to entitled "Can you marry the wrong person". It was on one of the gospel boards I go to...and this man was married to the wrong person...but people kept telling him God would not approve of divorce...his contention was why? I made a mistake...why will God forgive every mistake but marrying the wrong person?

It's deep girl...when I find it...I will email it to ya.

[Brightness]

Post it when you find. . .I'd be curious to read that

Originally posted by Tastey+

It's deep girl...when I find it...I will email it to ya.

[CLSmooove]

Best thing- Having Him here for me to share and experience all the ups and downs that we go thru....
Worse thing- Letting him LEAD when I know he making bad decisions.....

Now onto what has been said.....In a way I agree with CD and QUE.... you would think that being married you can get it whenever you want.... BUT in reality that just isnt true.... Sure the Bible may say this or that and even dealing with the most saved person if they arent up to giving up the ass they aint gonna do it..... And throwing up what the bible says to them is not gonna work either.... I know everyone says finding the right person and so on and so on But even the right person is going to have their days of NOT feeling like waxing dat ass..... Its just REALITY people....

[HulaSista]

CL...and everyone else... I really do understand what you and others are saying. I here this TOO often.

But we all know that sex is not just penetration. We all, in some form or another, have contributed to the fill up of the sex forum with many variations on the subject.

Yes, some nights, I may not FEEEEEEEEL like being on top and doing anything, but, my husband needs to be served, right? Okay, blow job until he is content. And vice versa should take place. I mean, what ever you and your spouse MUTUALLY agree on regarding HOW you have sex, that is between you and he/she. We don't need to know that, of course. The operative words are: MUTUAL AGREEMENT (to having some form of sex when one or the other or both needs/wants it)

And ALOT of folks are in the marriage beds turning down their spouses with an attitude, or because they really feel like they have until "tomorrow" to serve them... or the weekend... or they need a babysitter, or the kids might hear you... :confused: All I am saying is do what you gotta do to serve your spouse, point blank. It isn't just the surface (pleasure) that this understanding serves. It serves a few other things as well (that i don't feel like getting in to right now). But, you see what i am saying.

I can't let my human fleshy reality block me from the reality God has destined for me. Whether its within the marriage bed or as a single woman, or as a mother, etc.

Tastey, don't let me go there with the divorce and spiritual marriage. lol ;) But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.... post it here for me to read! :D

[Tastey]

That's why I hate Delphi forums.

It's been over 3 months since anyone posted to it so I'm having trouble finding it. Ugh!

I'm gonna email the webmaster.

[Tastey]

But the thread is too large to post here.

Brite and Hula I have emailed it to you. Anyone else who would like to read it send me your email address to gena140@charter.net and I will send it to you.