am I hooking up with a married man???

[Vronni]

Fam,I am not sure what to make of this situation. I had been seeing this man named "James" around town for awhile,at different functions. I thought he was pretty cute but had never really talked to him.One time,he and my cousin were talking -they are old friends-and my cousin introduced us and that was it. Last night,I was at a function and I saw James there.I told my friend that I was with that I thought he was cute and she was like "he's ok". She sort of knows him so I was going to ask her for some information about him but I decided to wait until later. About 30 minutes after that,I was standing around and he came up to me and said hi and we started talking ,but it was hard to hear because there was loud music. I told him that we should chat sometime . He was like "Yes,let's exchange numbers". So, we did the number exchange and he asked when was a good time to call me?. I told him,we hugged and then I left with my girl. On the way out,I told her that I had gotten James's number. So she says "Do you know that he is married?" I was like "Of course not". I was in shock. So my question is,is it wrong to chat with this married man? I do not want any drama and I'm not trying to cause any marital issues. I don't want to presume anything,so should I assume that he is even trying to hook up with me just because we exchanged numbers? I know what I think but I would like some input. What do you think???

[mystkev]

I think you should talk to him and find out from him. Maybe you can be friends w/him and his wife (in a non-sexual way of course). Have the two of you ever talked about your relationship status before?

[SoftNwet]

and then listen to what he says and how he says it.

[davinci]

WTF!

hushdivas can have short memories.

married people don't acquire new friends of the opposite sex...PERIOD!

if you were married, would you want your hubby exchanging numbers with another woman? i'll answer for you...NO! blast d if you want, but this shyt has HYPOCRIT waiting in the wings.

if you're saying see if he's married and then decide from there, then maybe, but if you, vronni find out he IS married, then....d shall wait and see.

[Tastey]

2 days ago we were cheering Foxe for blasting a married Hush brotha.

Vronni when you gave this man your number was it to be his "friend" or because you thought he was a cutie and a possible relationship prospect?

I know one thing on my wedding night after he has fallen asleep I am getting a branding iron and tatooing married on his damn forehead...LOL :p

[que90nek]

the hush double standard.

what good is a married friend, vronni?

[FoxEMomma]

Originally posted by Tastey+
2 days ago we were cheering Foxe for blasting a married Hush brotha.

Vronni when you gave this man your number was it to be his "friend" or because you thought he was a cutie and a possible relationship prospect?

I know one thing on my wedding night after he has fallen asleep I am getting a branding iron and tatooing married on his damn forehead...LOL :p

I'm with that and especially the part about branding....
LOL:beer

[djackso]

You made the offer & he accepted. If you were looking for more than friendship then you are looking for love in all the wrong places.

[mystkev]

I didn't bash anybody, I just said it sounded like dude was trying to get into her panties. "You are beautiful and I want to get to know you better" is not just, "let's be friends"

I think that married men can be friends w/women, but I think that it helps if the woman knows the wife.

[misha]

Make sure he is married and your friend isn't just trying to blow smoke up your ass.

Ask him and make an informed decision. Personally, if he didn't mention it during the conversation, and he is married, he got bullshit planned for ya. But um....that's just my take on it.

[MsMeelah]

Sounds like he might be tryin to get some extramartial booty to me..Especially since he never mentoned his wife to you. L would ask him because it is hearsay..he could be seperated from his wife..

[Vronni]

dang,y'all are judgemental this morning! davinci,I really don't need the sarcasm. My memory is hardly short. Just because I asked for advice doesn't mean it's open season to clown or ridicule me. I didn't say I thought that this scenario was ok,obviously I feel strange about it or I wouldn't be asking. When I gave my number to him, I wasn't "expecting " anything but to talk. You shouldn't be be planning for a relationship with someone you have just met. Now,that I know he's married I do feel uneasy about even being "friend"-if that's what he's trying to be-with a married man. I was just checkin to see if I was overreacting or not. I know that that some people don't see a problem with married people having opposite sex friends . I ask one question and you would think I was already cheatin with the man, from some of these responses.....

[que90nek]

vronni....

it's friday...we a lil jumpy today!

if you can find value-added in a friendship with this guy....keep contact up. otherwise....move on.

[nubianx2]

I'd ask him if he's married. He if states that he is, I'd apologize and let him know that I only suggested further convo thinking that he was single. Friendships are nice to have, but the lost of one won't hurt you.

[Vronni]

Right now,I realize that the title of this post probably made things seem more dramatic than they are,so I will choose a tamer title the next time I ask for advice. que,I hear what you are saying. I don't think that I want to even be "friends" with him at this point but I would like to hear what he has to say 'cause I am buggin over him taking my number-I want to know what the point of it was? Plus,I want him to know that he needs to throw away my number because I do not want wifey calling me going off about why I gave her husband my number?. Now, I know men who are married-who i knew before they were married- who are like brothers to me,so not every married man is trying to get the panties. In this case,though, since we were not friends before he got married(whenever that was) ,I will just trust my intutition and let it go....

[davinci]

Originally posted by davinci+

if you're saying see if he's married and then decide from there, then maybe, but if you, vronni find out he IS married, then....d shall wait and see. vronni, this is what i said. if...then... so i was waiting to see. and yes i believe that married people shouldn't be making new opposite sex friends, especially thru phone convo.

[que90nek]

vronni...the title is great....you get much more views this way! :rolleyes:

LOL@QUE.

[Vronni]

that's fine and I would agree,Davinci.What I didn't agree with was your condescending comment about wtf? and hush diva's forgetting things.That was not necessary.

[Juicey1]

Originally posted by davinci+
WTF!

hushdivas can have short memories.

married people don't acquire new friends of the opposite sex...PERIOD!

if you were married, would you want your hubby exchanging numbers with another woman? i'll answer for you...NO! blast d if you want, but this shyt has HYPOCRIT waiting in the wings.

if you're saying see if he's married and then decide from there, then maybe, but if you, vronni find out he IS married, then....d shall wait and see.

I have to agree with D. I wouldn't want my husband exchanging numbers with another. I would be pretty pissed. I would chat with him once, let him know that you know he is married and thats something you really don't want to get involved in just friends or not.:(

[Reesecup1]

if you were married, would you want your hubby exchanging numbers with another woman? i'll answer for you...NO! blast d if you want, but this shyt has HYPOCRIT waiting in the wings.

I forgot who posted this, but I agree 100% with you. If wifey had of been there, would he have a need for exchanging of the digits, unless you knew the both of them from way back. No, I don't think so. Once I would have found out he was married, I would have tossed his number, and hoped that he wouldn't call me. It isn't like I am just saying this, either, because I have been in many of situations, like you are kind of in, and I did exactly what I said I would do. Unless you are trully not attracted to an individual, we as adults up in here, know that for two friends to remain just friends don't last but for a short while anyway. Eventually, you will end up hooking up.

:beer

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by misha+
Make sure he is married and your friend isn't just trying to blow smoke up your ass.


I was thinking the same thing. . . cause the way ole girl said. . "He's ok" when you told her you thought he was cute. . . sounds like she might NOT want you to chat with James~!! :rolleyes:

You never know, girl~!! :eek: It's a small world. . . (she sort of knows him)

[SoftNwet]

if he is married for sure? From him, not jsut your friend??

[Brightness]

If you didn't trust your friend's statement. . .couldn't you try verifying this with your cousin since they go back?

And I find it very amazing that it didn't come into conversation are you married/separated/divorced/single. . .I ain't been in an intro conversation that didn't at least include that.

And I suppose whether it's wrong or not depends upon the reason you were getting his number to chat. . .are you trying to network or date?

[Bedroomeyes]

Why didn't your friend tell you he was married the first time you asked her about him?? that seems a little strange to me... Especially if you were showing interest...

He probably is married.. Hell, married men get numbers all the time... It's up to you if you want to go down that road.. I'm sure you know where it will end... :rolleyes:

[knowledge7]

Don't do it....Just say no:hammer

[davinci]

Originally posted by Vronni+
your condescending comment about wtf? and hush diva's forgetting things.That was not necessary. i'm sorry if i posted what i felt...wait a sec...no i'm not. vronni, you get d uncut.:D

[Vronni]

Reese,I disagree.I have male friends that I have never hooked up with,for various reasons. It's all about self-control.Thanks,davinci.It's good to know that you would rather believe the worst of someone rather than figure out what their true feelings are.When I first posted this,my thought was "now that I know this man is married,I probably shouldn't even try to be friends with him. Am I on point for that or am I overreacting?" So I asked for some input.But what it seems like is that people are misinterpeting my thoughts,my intention,everything. I have no bad intentions here and I have no plans of messing with someone's marriage. For some reason,that is not getting through ,though,after 4 posts on this! Brightness,I didn't ask about his status because I was in a hurry to leave and I thought my girl would have told me when I first mentioned him.She didn't. After this weekend,I have the answer about his marital status but I'm not sure if I believe it ,so,at this point,NO,I am not going to deal with this man at all. I know that people have a problem with infidelity,so do I,but dang,first find out what someone is truly saying , before you condemn them. I'm far from a shady person,if I was- I sure wouldn't be asking for input-I would just do it!

[que90nek]

u feel condemned? on the hush?

did i read that correctly?

and are u not gonna share what he said about his marital status...please do!!!!please.......

[Mocha]

Why don't you call this man and get more information. If he is married then move on. I dont' think you guys should be friends, you had an attraction to him with the intent of getting to know him better. Why keep that up if he's married.

But the girlfriend part...I mean she knew you was interested in him and didnt' mention it til later, that is why I say just call the number he gave and find out.

[davinci]

Originally posted by davinci+

if you're saying see if he's married and then decide from there, then maybe, but if you, vronni find out he IS married, then....d shall wait and see. that was my point. i waited and saw, though you haven't spilled all the beans. vronni, i'm not an attacker. thw "WTF? and forget comments" set you on defense, but that wasn't my point. is he married? he obivously said some shady shyt, b/c...

Originally posted by vronni+

I have the answer about his marital status but I'm not sure if I believe it ,so,at this point,NO,I am not going to deal with this man at all.
...and you stuck with your good upbringin'. don't be scared to share your thoughts. my bark is worse than my bite.

[Vronni]

I hear ya,d. I'm not scared to share.I just don't like being misinterpreted when I do share. que, I ran into him the other day and he said that they are "not together" .Being that he hasn't called me,my guess is that they are trying to work things out, plus she was at the same place-different section-when I talked to him-I didn't know at the time-my friend just told me this-so I will stay out of the mix...

[D2daO2da]

Hmm,

I don't think it's kool for a married guy to get phone numbers and ask when the best time to call is. That seems a little too Mackish.

Was he wearing his ring.

or Call his house around dinner time. get the facts.

D