I've got drama at my job -Help!

[Vronni]

Fam,I have some serious drama going on at my job. A few weeks ago, two co-workers ("Lola" and "Terri") were talking about me on the phone-since we all sit in close proximity -I could hear them saying "Well,why is she (me) doing this that way?" in regards to a project I was in charge of. I was reworking our lunch and break schedule. I got tired of hearing them going back and forth talking about me,so I asked to talk to them privately. I told them that if they wanted to know why I was doing something a certain way,then to ask me directly.One was real calm,this sister named "Terri" but the other woman,"Lola" ,had a big attitude with me. I asked her what it was about. She said that she didn't like how I was doing the project-she had previously made objections to how I was doing the project-but when I asked for her input on how I could improve it in regards to her-she had no suggestions. So we talked for awhile ,she gave me a suggestion,I said "that will work" and I thought everything was cleared up. Then a week later,the co-worker that I used to sit next to -"Sally"- said that she had been in a meeting with our supervisor that day and that he told her that some of our co-workers- from our work team,including Lola and Terri ,said that Sally and I,are in a clique. "Sally" didn't elaborate on what that meant -she said that our supervisor didn't say anything else,he just wanted her to know that that was told to him and that he was going to talk to me, too. Three weeks went by and my supervisor doesn't say anything to me. Last friday, I went in to talk to my supervisor because I was getting some wierd vibes from "Lola" -like she had an attitude still and I was hoping that he would finally talk to me about the "clique" comment. He told me that he had been planning to come talk to me,because Lola,Terri and a few other people had come to him complaining that I was not only part of a clique,but that I am too assertive and that I try to force my opinion on the whole work team,that I'm defensive and I am the one "trouble spot" on our team. Well,I was blown away.These are people who smile in my face every day. Terri even gave me a Valentine. None of them had ever said they had a problem with my style. Plus,my supervisor has always encouraged me to speak up and be a leader on the team,even if it means disagreeing with him. He asked what he thought should be done with this situation because he wasn't sure. I told him that we should all meet and get all the issues out in the open.Well,that day only Lola was around, so me,her and the supervisor met for awhile (last Friday). She said that basically,my behavior had improved but in the past,my emails had too strong a tone -in her opinion-when I disagreed with something and that I was too outspoken in meetings. Keep in mind,Terri and Lola are both very outspoken,too,as is most of my work team. My perception of the real problem was that I am outspoken and that Terry and Lola have a problem because I sometimes disagree with them. Lola denied this and the meeting ended with me agreeing to try to be more tactful-in my emails and in general. But, I feel like I no longer trust my coworkers because 1. they talked behind my back 2. they went to the supervisor and tried to get me in trouble . My supervisor thinks that I should meet with the others who have "issues" with me so too,so we can get all of this out in the open. I think that is a good idea but I feel like I have been targeted and my days are numbered here. At my job,your co-workers review you and decide whether you are doing a good job and deserve a raise,so I am not feeling good about my next review, based on recent events. Even my horsoscope today-which I looked at just for the heck of it-said "act invisible. Things are happening around you.Someone is trying to deceive you". What should I do????

[mystkev]

you are in a real pickle. If you do talk to the other co-workers make sure that your supervisor is present when you do. Whatever you do, don't try to be friends w/these people, keep it professional, their problems w/you are of their own making, nothing you can do about that.

[Vronni]

Yes,it would be the supervisor,me and these 5 co-workers. He said he was worried about them all ganging up on me,so he will be present. I was glad to hear that 'cause I don't know what all they are going to accuse me of

[PecanTan]

Originally posted by mystkev+
you are in a real pickle. If you do talk to the other co-workers make sure that your supervisor is present when you do. Whatever you do, don't try to be friends w/these people, keep it professional, their problems w/you are of their own making, nothing you can do about that. I would also cc my supervisor on any e-mails that I send out. Definitely keep it professional, then they will probably have something to say about that. Why so much hate, can't we all just get along!

[mystkev]

I forgot, from now on keep a notebook where your write down every single incident that takes place. Make sure you have dates, times and your response to the person. That way people can't come back on you later saying you did such and such, when you didn't.

Have they even shown any proof of you being in a clique? I don't even see how your supervisor can give what they are saying any merit.

[que90nek]

ok...

jealousy can be an ugly thing.

tone down your emails, cc your supervisor, stay professional with these people, and understand

that not everybody is gonna like you or your style...and that's ok. if your raise is based solely on your co-workers input....then you shouldnt be in charge at all...ya'll should all just be co-workers.

[Vronni]

que,our raise is based on the input from 4 co-workers and the supervisor. We are all supposed to be mini-supervisors so no one is "in charge" among us co-workers but we're supposed to be assertive and proactive,which is what I have done. The emails that are being referred to responses to someone wanting to take time off when we short staffed-so I said so.Others object too,but I am the only one who they are calling out for doing this. I seem to do it more,in their opinion. The reason for this is that I notice these things more- and I notice more when that we were short-staffed because I was at one time in charge of our daily phone stats (we all take turns doing this) plus I have been the one who worked on redoing our break schedule ,lunch schedule and other scheduling things-so I pay attention to these things. I am only one person,though,so even if I object to something,the majority still rules -so why someone would be buggin over one objection,is what I'm not understanding. The same people who don't want objections to their requests object to others requests,too,so it's hypocritical.....

[swtjamaica]

...it's jealousy...you are doing something right in order for folk to be hatin on you like that...per previous advice, keep professional, and keep a record of all events...stay on top of it girl, and don't let 'em see ya stress....

[D2daO2da]

I amn sorry to hear about the drama. A paper trail of ideas and conversations may be a helpful suggestion. This way you can always refer to it instead of he say/she say bickering. Suggested reading the ART OF WAR, helps with confrontation.

I recall the end of the Michael Douglass/Demi Moore movie, DISCLOSURE, he stuck it to her when he had all of the data she signed off on. So keep a paper trail. They can never deny their input.

D

[que90nek]

yes, keep all documentation....

well...since you are all co-workers...but expected to be active members of the team...

you should suggest a team-building exercise....one that shows the strengths of each person on the team...

your strength may be attn to detail....

[Vronni]

we are continuing to do team-building exercises but seems like we are not any closer as a team than when I got here. Hopefully,that will change. Keeping a paper trail is a good idea. I know that no job is perfect but I just hate dealing with unnecessary drama and it's only women that I ever have problems with.My male co-workers are cool. But,I feel better now that I've vented. Thanks y'all :)