View Full Version : My Biggest Complaint about Black Women...
dns70
03-12-2002, 09:03 AM
I have recently began meeting new women over the last month or so and I must say that thus far, I've been greatly disappointed. I even spoke with my boy of 22 years about this and he agrees with me. Physically, they've been pretty attractive. And they're "nice girls" but what's the deal with the personalities!?!?
I mean, it's like women out there aren't even trying to be fun anymore. The women I've met are so dull and boring. They're stuck in their daily routine. Get up, get ready for work, come home from work, go to a class or something after work that they usually do and get ready to do the same thing the next day.
I've been on a few dates and the sense of humor is so lacking. They don't laugh at anything, they don't try to make me laugh, they don't even smile a whole lot. Now, I know that I am coming off a breakup and stuff, but I shake it off long enought to be a good date.
Why are the personalities of so many single women out there so blah?
Does anyone else agree with me? or disagree too, I don't care. :)
mystkev
03-12-2002, 09:11 AM
Wow, I hope no one thinks that about me.
Maybe their hearts aren't really in to dating and that's why they are so blah.
dulce
03-12-2002, 09:14 AM
how is your complaint specific to Black women? More likely, it is the type women that you are choosing - and you would probably run into the same problem even if they were NOT Black.
You and your boy need to do a little introspective research and figure out what YOU are putting out there that is making your dates suck. If this happened once or twice, then I could see ya'll thinking it was the woman's hang-up. But if EVERY female you date is like this, then maybe the problem is not with them...
dns70
03-12-2002, 09:21 AM
the problem is not with me on this one...
I've done the whole "introspective search" thang... Lack of humor just isn't one of the problems...I'm a fun date.
It just seems like so many of the women have significant baggage.
I don't even think dating is all that productive anyway. I mean, really, has anyone you've really gotten into come about as a result of dating? I'd probably say no.
Oh, and I said "Black Women" just to get more responses...posts get competitive for replies y'know... ;)
dulce
03-12-2002, 09:54 AM
then maybe you're looking in the wrong places and giving the wrong attributes priority...and yeah, I have met folks that I got into through dating...once you meet somebody, you do need to date a little to get to know each other and even afterwards to keep things fresh...
BTW, glad to know the title of this thread was just a tactic to get some interest directed this way...
dulce
03-12-2002, 09:56 AM
oh another thought: this is very similar to the female "intimidation" theory...I just use "Dulce's theory of not wasting my freaking time":it's not working then maybe the person is just not into you - simple as that...
You got to change the menu Bru.
You don't go shopping in the frozen food section for fresh fruit...:rolleyes:
Tastey
03-12-2002, 10:19 AM
Originally posted by dns70+
Physically, they've been pretty attractive. And they're "nice girls" but what's the deal with the personalities!?!?
Here's the problem right here. ATTRACTIVE and I know you well enough to know that by that you mean model beautiful.
Women like that rarely have great personalities, because they get by on thier looks.
Originally posted by Tastey+
Women like that rarely have great personalities, because they get by on thier looks.
Where did that come from?
mystkev
03-12-2002, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by CD+
Where did that come from? I was wondering the same thing. I know a few women that I would classify as beautiful and they have great personalities. They're really fun loving people. I don't think that good looks or lack of good looks determine personality.
dns70
03-12-2002, 10:38 AM
I really don't judge my compatability with a woman based on looks alone. To tell you the truth, I don't have a "type".
I only look for one thing physically, the face.
I'm not a size, hips, butt, breast man. In my opinion, if you're a woman you'll come with the necessary hardware. But the face must move me.
I'm really a personality man. I look for personality more than anything else. Personality will make an ugly woman cute, a cute woman gorgeous and a gorgeous woman ugly.
But I'm telling ya', I know when it's me. It ain't me here people!
I went out with one woman and we went to a movie, after the movie we walked past a Latin dance club. I suggested that we go in and she was like "I don't dance". Now, she was interested, she was holding my hand and giving all the "I'm interested" signs that I've learned. She was just a boring date! All she talked about was her job. She even called me later on to discuss going out again. I was like, well I think we'd be better friends than anything else...
but you guys are right, I'm still not ready...
Tastey
03-12-2002, 10:42 AM
Originally posted by mystkev+
I was wondering the same thing. I know a few women
You said it yourself...a FEW...not ALOT...not a MAJORITY...but a FEW.
Tastey didn't make this up...why do ya'll think there is always so much uproar over beauty pageants, Vanna White, the dumb blonde...cmon....don't pretend ya'll never heard it before.
I didn't say ALL attractive women don't have personality or that ugly women have a monolopy on personality...but when you choose a person bases on looks...looks is what you get.
DNS this is me...I know the type of woman you are attracted to. Don't trip.
dns70
03-12-2002, 10:49 AM
I'm telling you, I don't have a particular type.
light, dark, short, tall, slim, voluptuous...
I'm all about face and personality...emphasis on personality.
Personality: funny (this-is-a-must!), quick witted, able to tell jokes or stories well, easy going, relaxed, kind, likable, gets along well with others, doesn't take herself too seriously, smart, intelligent, ambitious without it being too all-consuming, carefree!
that's not as easy to find as you would think!
swtjamaica
03-12-2002, 10:50 AM
...you are just choosing the wrong women...
Tastey
03-12-2002, 10:53 AM
If tomorrow you met a woman with personality, but she was the size of Nikki Parker....would you date her???
SoftNwet
03-12-2002, 11:03 AM
Here goes:
First of all you do not start a topic dissing Balck women just to get more responses. As soon as I saw that topic, yeah, I wanted to see what was up but, I was also pissed and this is where this response is coming from.
Now if you want some with a great outgoing personality then you, DNS, must display that same out going persoality and it seem that even though
I know that I am coming off a breakup and stuff, but I shake it off long enought to be a good date.
you may think that you shake it off longe enough to be a good date. Maybe before the date you are still in a funk about your break up and are expcting the women to bring you out of that funk. Well that is not our responsibility. And remember YOU ARE WHAT YOU ATTRACT so if you are looking for:
: funny (this-is-a-must!), quick witted, able to tell jokes or stories well, easy going, relaxed, kind, likable, gets along well with others, doesn't take herself too seriously, smart, intelligent, ambitious without it being too all-consuming, carefree!
Then you my friend you must be all those things. And from what you are saying you don't even know what a good date is. And let me tell you this, sitting in dark watching a movie is not the answer for a first date. Especially now with the wack-assed movies out now. If you want someone to be funny how the hell can they do it sitting in the dark during a movie. You may wanna talk to some real women to find out what the "in" this is for a date because you obviously have been off the market for a while.
There places like jazz clubs, poerty readings, museum exhibits, open houses, wine tasting, pottery painting,.......all sorts of things that will require discussion, light banter, conversation, dialogue, chit chatter, but if all you can come up with is the movies then that as a first date is BORING!!!!!!!! And thus she will see you as boring. The fact that you were trying to go to the Latin club after seems like you noticed the date was a bust and you were trying to salvage what last little bit you could. Think about it.......after the movies she may have been too bored to want to dance!!!!
I said all that to say: YOU ARE WHAT YOU ATTRACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get over yourself!!!!!:rolleyes:
mystkev
03-12-2002, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by Tastey+
You said it yourself...a FEW...not ALOT...not a MAJORITY...but a FEW.
Tastey didn't make this up...why do ya'll think there is always so much uproar over beauty pageants, Vanna White, the dumb blonde...cmon....don't pretend ya'll never heard it before.
I didn't say ALL attractive women don't have personality or that ugly women have a monolopy on personality...but when you choose a person bases on looks...looks is what you get.
DNS this is me...I know the type of woman you are attracted to. Don't trip. Why am I always being misquoted? I said that I knew a few women that I would classify as beautiful (meaning there isn't that many that I think are beautiful) and they all have great personalities; therefore every beautiful woman that I know has a great personality.
I do understand where you are coming from, but I don't agree I think that's just one of those age - old stereotypes.
Originally posted by Tastey+
If tomorrow you met a woman with personality, but she was the size of Nikki Parker....would you date her???
You need to stop woman...LOL!
14KBlaqWmn
03-12-2002, 11:15 AM
Originally posted by dns70+
I have recently began meeting new women over the last month or so and I must say that thus far, I've been greatly disappointed. I even spoke with my boy of 22 years about this and he agrees with me. Physically, they've been pretty attractive. And they're "nice girls" but what's the deal with the personalities!?!?
I mean, it's like women out there aren't even trying to be fun anymore. The women I've met are so dull and boring. They're stuck in their daily routine. Get up, get ready for work, come home from work, go to a class or something after work that they usually do and get ready to do the same thing the next day.
I've been on a few dates and the sense of humor is so lacking. They don't laugh at anything, they don't try to make me laugh, they don't even smile a whole lot. Now, I know that I am coming off a breakup and stuff, but I shake it off long enought to be a good date.
Why are the personalities of so many single women out there so blah?
Does anyone else agree with me? or disagree too, I don't care. :)
Did you ever think that maybe you're sending out a vibe that makes these women act as they do. I know I've been out with folks before and the vibe they sent out set a negative tone for the entire date. I say this because you say this has happened on a few dates. Are you sure it's other people or YOU?
dns70
03-12-2002, 11:16 AM
SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED TO GO TO THE MOVIE!
You're telling me that every date you ever had was exciting, fun, thrilling and vibrant!?!? Of course not! We all know that there are more duds than there are stars. It's the nature of the game.
Now I'm not gonna say that I've been Mr. Saturday Night the last few months, but I said it before, and I'll say it again...I KNOW WHEN IT'S ME...AND IT AIN'T ME! Not on these last few dates.
I will say this much, I've probably expected too much out of them, so I wasn't giving a lot of slack. But a boring chick is a boring chick is a boring chick!
SoftNwet
03-12-2002, 11:22 AM
Originally posted by dns70+
But a boring chick is a boring chick is a boring chick!
And a boring assed date..........is a boring assed date.
And if you wanted excitement then perhaps you should have offered and alternative to the movies. I will say that if she chose the movies then you know where she was going with it........back home to sleep!!!
djackso
03-12-2002, 11:33 AM
Dns, Why don't you make the plans for the date? Women love to be led. Bring that funny woman out of her just like you want to bring the freak out of her later. Everybody has a personality you just have to find it.
Vronni
03-12-2002, 01:04 PM
Dns,perhaps these women haven't dated in awhile and are just nervous. Some people need several dates before they become really comfortable with you. Or they may not want to invest too much energy and are focusing on trying not to develop any serious feelings for you- because they know that you are just getting out of a serious relationship and are probably not looking for anything serious right now. I would say that you probably should get to know these women and their personalities better, before going out on "dates" with them-talk to them on the phone,hang out casually -so that you can figure out whether you are truly compatible.....
Tastey
03-12-2002, 03:35 PM
Originally posted by CD+
You need to stop woman...LOL!
CD...if you notice...my brother did not answer the question. lol :p
que90nek
03-12-2002, 04:36 PM
dns...
two posts like this....
both of which...were of the nature of "i'm bout to catch it."
you did this on purpose. why?
Why are you punishing yourself?
recommendation: no more posts about you. respond to posts about everybody else though.
Reesecup1
03-12-2002, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by dulce+
how is your complaint specific to Black women? More likely, it is the type women that you are choosing - and you would probably run into the same problem even if they were NOT Black.
You and your boy need to do a little introspective research and figure out what YOU are putting out there that is making your dates suck. If this happened once or twice, then I could see ya'll thinking it was the woman's hang-up. But if EVERY female you date is like this, then maybe the problem is not with them...
Word up!
HulaSista
03-12-2002, 05:57 PM
Originally posted by dns70+
I've been on a few dates and the sense of humor is so lacking. They don't laugh at anything, they don't try to make me laugh, they don't even smile a whole lot. Now, I know that I am coming off a breakup and stuff, but I shake it off long enought to be a good date.
you know what, to give you an honest kick you in the ass opinion dear, we go have to be a fly on the wall. why don't you call one of them dating shows on mtv or what ever and let us see for ourselves what kinda date you are. that way, we can clown that ass properly.
also, i've heard you are a good lookin brotha. so. if good lookin women have boring personalities.... then.... that makes yoooooooooooouuuuuu....:idea
HulaSista
03-12-2002, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by mystkev+
Wow, I hope no one thinks that about me.
fuck em if they do.
Reesecup1
03-12-2002, 06:00 PM
Originally posted by HulaSista+
you know what, to give you an honest kick you in the ass opinion dear, we go have to be a fly on the wall. why don't you call one of them dating shows on mtv or what ever and let us see for ourselves what kinda date you are. that way, we can clown that ass properly.
also, i've heard you are a good lookin brotha. so. if good lookin women have boring personalities.... then.... that makes yoooooooooooouuuuuu....:idea
Oh, boy!!!!!
Reesecup1
03-12-2002, 06:13 PM
Originally posted by HulaSista+
fuck em if they do.
Who cares what they think...Brothers always want to put the black sisters down, when it's they own ass that is boring. Why all the women have to make up all the fun sh*t.
Don't get it twisted now, though, because I don't fall into that category of being boring...I'm just speaking along with my black nubian sistas.
HulaSista
03-12-2002, 06:17 PM
Mind you, Reese...
and I think 14k said this....
its got to be what he puttin out there.
DNS.....
I know for a fact that i mirror who i am with and talking to. if you quiet. i'm quiet. if you goofy. i'm goofy.
i don't mean to. my spirit is just tryna find a balance with your spirit. if you see something in me you don't like, its probably...YOU...
take that lesson and learn from it.
Reesecup1
03-12-2002, 06:23 PM
You are right...Speaking for myself, I just make things happen. If I find myself with a boring nigga (which for some reason, I never had) I would try to make something. If I then tried, and I am tired, and he is dead, then he gets skidded on, u heard!
Tastey
03-12-2002, 06:28 PM
Do I gots to run you out this thread now??? LOL
Where did I put my gun...there it is... :blast
Gwone git! Michael needs you at the wedding. LOL :p
SoftNwet
03-12-2002, 06:30 PM
:rolleyes: :confused: :rolleyes:
I don't think I have ever had anything bad to say about a Hush brother, but DNS you are full of it dawg. It appears to me that you or stuck on yourself. You act as though you are Gods gift to woman. You act like these woman ought to be glad that you are taking them out on a date. All these bacl woman could not be wrong. Maybe you need to be like Hula's new man and step back and look at the man in the mirror.
que90nek
03-13-2002, 07:31 AM
Originally posted by que90nek+
dns...
two posts like this....
both of which...were of the nature of "i'm bout to catch it."
you did this on purpose. why?
Why are you punishing yourself?
recommendation: no more posts about you. respond to posts about everybody else though.
famu...that's kinda what i was sayin...in a hush punk kinda nicety way....
CLSmooove
03-13-2002, 07:47 AM
how can u group ALL black women into the basis of a couple of women YOU PICKED to go out with???? :confused:
You chose these women but its NOT YOU????? :confused:
Reesecup1
03-13-2002, 08:03 AM
Originally posted by Tastey+
Do I gots to run you out this thread now??? LOL
Where did I put my gun...there it is... :blast
Gwone git! Michael needs you at the wedding. LOL :p
Tastey+, let me finish the last round on my baby daddy.
dns70
03-13-2002, 08:03 AM
I really do owe this board an apology. I've been trippin real hard during the last, I'd say 10 months or so. You're right Famu, I did have to look in the mirror.
I don't mean to come off the way I have over the last several months. I just ain't been myself.
I love black women, and I respect everyone on this board. Why? Because every one of y'all are living your lives and doing your thang. You're handling your responsibilities and making it day-by-day through this life.
The Bible says pride goeth before a fall. Well, I let myself get real proud and I fell real hard. I got away from the Word. I really did. I can tell you that I've learned this much about that Bible, when you do what is says, good things happen, when you don't, bad things happen.
I don't think I'm God's gift to women. I really don't. I'm not even close. I'm just a young black man, making mistakes and learning life lessons.
In any case, I hope that this clears any dirty air that I may have caused lately. And I really hope that if any of you have been offended or put-off by what I've put on the board over the last couple of months, that you'll give me the benefit of the doubt and let it ride.
I've been a member of this board for almost four years now. I've made some good friends from this board. This board has helped me alot. It doesn't deserve me airing my dirty laundry or putting on a public pity-party. It deserves better than that. My bad.
I don't think I've ever put forth a public apology to this board before. So, I honestly do hope that it's accepted.
SoftNwet
03-13-2002, 10:30 AM
Originally posted by dns70+
I don't think I've ever put forth a public apology to this board before. So, I honestly do hope that it's accepted.
We cool :cool:!!! Just like I said in the PM yesterday........it's all good.
And if I offended anyone with my rants and raves in this or DNS threads, please blame it on my head 'cause I got mad loves for my FAM and that is truly on my heart!!!! :hearts:
Melotic
03-13-2002, 11:21 AM
Originally posted by Tastey+
Here's the problem right here. ATTRACTIVE and I know you well enough to know that by that you mean model beautiful.
Women like that rarely have great personalities, because they get by on thier looks.
What? :confused:
That's very judge~mental, I have to disagree...
Reesecup1
03-13-2002, 12:45 PM
Originally posted by Melotic+
What? :confused:
That's very judge~mental, I have to disagree...
I agree with you Melotic+.
Reesecup1
03-13-2002, 02:30 PM
Originally posted by Reesecup+
I agree with you Melotic+.
Tastey+, the reply you posted must make me, a one in a million, because if you could get to know me, you'll find out that not only am I great looking, I have a great personality to match.
Tastey
03-13-2002, 02:43 PM
Originally posted by Tastey+
I didn't say ALL attractive women don't have personality or that ugly women have a monolopy on personality...but when you choose a person based on looks...looks is what you get.
DNS this is me...I know the type of woman you are attracted to. Don't trip.
To quote myself...
You might also like to take notice that even a day later he still has not answered the question regarding would he date an "overweight" woman.
Reese, I think I'm great looking too...but I weigh over 180lbs...
well since he won't answer the question...and I already know the answer...and he has apologized...that's all I'm gone say.
Reesecup1
03-13-2002, 03:39 PM
For every woman, there is a man....
Like the old saying, " One man's loss, is another man's gain".
lightandlovely1
03-13-2002, 06:56 PM
Now hold on a minute. I've been told that I'm a very attractive woman and I've done a little bit of runway work as well. I don't expect my looks to get me over but I will admit that they help initially. However, any advantage from your looks only lasts about 5 seconds - if you are dumb as a box of rocks, your looks won't help for long.
I will concede that many people think attractiveness and good looks go hand in hand with being dumb. I can't tell you how many dates I've been on where the guy winds up telling me that he's surprised that I have such good conversation.
I agree with the comment that you need to look at the choices you are making and why you are making them.
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