How about if you want to be the fill in bytch?

[Toffee]

Hey if you not looking for Mr. Right now and He not looking for Ms. Right Now. You can be each others fill in bytch.

[mystkev]

Yes, I feel the same way. We can help each other out during our dry spells. Not looking to get married, just looking to get sexed.

[nubianx2]

Originally posted by Toffee+
You can be each others fill in bytch.

Sure, if agreed upon inadvance.

[que90nek]

this is the exception.

this idea that you can just sex somebody...no strings....over any period of time....is the exception. and i wish u luck.

[misha]

If it is agreed upon in advance, then there is no game there. The game is making someone believe that there will be more, but there never is. Putting out that hope that there will be a real relationship, but there never is.

[D2daO2da]

Hey this can work.. Make them sign a Pre-Catchin Feelings agreement. So they don't get attached.

It does work.. These are our booty call relationships.

D

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by D2daO2da
It does work.. These are our booty call relationships.


Exactly~!! And, as long as you are cool with it. . it's ok~!! :upretty (ask me how I know) :upto:

However, the minute you ain't feeling that anymore. . then it ain't cool~!! :rolleyes: (ask me how I know that) :(

[lightandlovely1]

I don't know - I've tried the fill-in thing and it just doesn' work for me. Feelings always come into play.

[Brightness]

because I have a real live problem with not only knowing that I ain't shit to a man but a fuck also presenting myself like I ain't shit but a fuck . . .for me it has nothing to do with 'catching feelings'. . . I have a hard time having sex so casually. . .my own conscience gets to me on that.

[que90nek]

i'm with u bright.

[Tastey]

Originally posted by Brightness+
because I have a real live problem with not only knowing that I ain't shit to a man but a fuck also presenting myself like I ain't shit but a fuck . . .for me it has nothing to do with 'catching feelings'. . . I have a hard time having sex so casually. . .my own conscience gets to me on that.

Ditto.

I don't have to be in LOVE but I do have to be in more than LUST. I don't believe I have to marry every man I sleep with but mutual respect is very important to me.

[misha]

and I can see no problem with other people doing this if that is what they wanna do...

But when I am asked to do this, I always think of kleenex. When you need it, nothing else will do, but once you have used it, and it's all wet and nasty, all you wanna do is throw it away.

I don't like being treated like a kleenex, and I don't want to treat somebody else that way.

[Tastey]

Originally posted by misha+
But when I am asked to do this, I always think of kleenex. When you need it, nothing else will do, but once you have used it, and it's all wet and nasty, all you wanna do is throw it away.

I don't like being treated like a kleenex, and I don't want to treat somebody else that way.

That's deep Mish. I feel you on that.

[Sparkles]

Originally posted by Brightness+
because I have a real live problem with not only knowing that I ain't shit to a man but a fuck also presenting myself like I ain't shit but a fuck . . .for me it has nothing to do with 'catching feelings'. . . I have a hard time having sex so casually. . .my own conscience gets to me on that.

And that's real....

[Vronni]

I agree with you, Misha. I think that it's a sad thing that we as women(in general) are at the point that we don't mind just being someone's booty call. I don't know that that's a good thing. I've tried before to make myself think that it's no big deal but I find it insulting for a man to only see me as booty call material. And I have to wonder if so many women would be choosing to have booty call relationships if the men they are involved with weren't restricting it to that level? Personally, I've met very few women who prefer to just keep it about sex when a man she really wants to be with is offering a committed relationship......

[Sparkles]

Originally posted by Vronni+
I agree with you, Misha. I think that it's a sad thing that we as women(in general) are at the point that we don't mind just being someone's booty call. I don't know that that's a good thing. I've tried before to make myself think that it's no big deal but I find it insulting for a man to only see me as booty call material. And I have to wonder if so many women would be choosing to have booty call relationships if the men they are involved with weren't restricting it to that level? Personally,



I've met very few women who prefer to just keep it about sex when a man she really wants to be with is offering a committed relationship......

Exactly, I think Djackson said it best, it's unfortunate that some women really don't know how a man is really suppose to treat them. All this booty call shit works for some, but not for most. Most women are looking for committed relationship, but settle for a lot less due to past heartbreaks. If you are okay with that status, then work it, however I find it hard to believe that some hush ladies can handle being a fill in bitch when not long ago they were ranting about there"room mate" leaving and didn't say anything......Go figure....

[OhSoPrecious]

How some of my hush sistahs forget that they might offend their fellow hush sistahs when posting~!! :rolleyes: Hell, perhaps they don't give a shit. . .

Yes, you are entitled to your opinion. . . but, that was uncalled for. . and that is my opinion~!! :hammer

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by Sparkles+
when not long ago they were ranting about there"room mate" leaving and didn't say anything......

And, it's shit like this that makes some of us women not want to be bothered with a man in a committed relationship~!! :upretty We are grown women, making grown decisions and I am sure those of us that are comfortable with it. . . can handle it. . . as long as we feel like handling it~!!

I really wouldn't expect you married folks to understand~!! :rolleyes: (sigh)

[D2daO2da]

oooooo.. let me gather some more stones.

Oh yeah, pass me some marshmallows cause they burning fill in bitches at the steak

D

[Brightness]

Originally posted by D2daO2da
oooooo.. let me gather some more stones.

Oh yeah, pass me some marshmallows cause they burning fill in bitches at the steak

D

[misha]

I don't think this was a case of being judgmental. I think it was a case of trying to get people to recognize that while they may say this is okay, things that have been said in the past may contradict this.

Maybe it is offensive, maybe it could have been done with more tact. But imagine the heartbreak that can be spared because somebody had the guts to say this.


Sparkles, it may have been raw, but it was on point. Got your back on this one girl.

[misha]

Originally posted by OhSoPrecious+


And, it's shit like this that makes some of us women not want to be bothered with a man in a committed relationship~!! :upretty We are grown women, making grown decisions and I am sure those of us that are comfortable with it. . . can handle it. . . as long as we feel like handling it~!!

I really wouldn't expect you married folks to understand~!! :rolleyes: (sigh)

Consider this Precious. What if the decision was made not because it was comfortable, but because that was all the man was offering? What if the woman thought she could handle it but realized later that she couldn't? What if the woman says she can handle it, then is hurt by the man? I'ts all about choices.

The shit like this that you refer to, is a choice. That didn't have to be accepted....all I am saying is this, the sooner women really sit down and decide what it is they want, and make choices that are conducive to getting what they want, they will stop making these dead end decisions and being hurt in the aftermath.

[misha]

We as women, are beautiful, special, and unique. We have a strong capacity to love and nurture. What each woman has is priceless. It is something to cherish.

It took me to this age to recognize and accept this about myself. I love without apology. I am gentle and kind to a fault. Now....

Knowing this about myself, I am not willing to accept a man that doesn't allow me to express that. And a man that is looking to put me on booty call status is not allowing me to express this.

I had to decide whether or not I was going to go along and accept what the first man has to offer, or wait until I meet a man that recognizes me and respects me.

There are people that are at different stages in their lives, and if having and being a booty call is where they are at, so be it. But if you are involved with somebody that isn't allowing you to be who you are, think twice about getting involved in te first place. That is how a woman doesn't get hurt and doesn't harden towards men.

Sit back and think about it calmly and clearly. I know that I used to meet a man and first thought was if I could please him. Everything I did was about pleasing him, no matter how little the crumbs were that he threw me. No blaming him....I made it clear that I accepted crumbs. That has changed to, hey, can he please me? Is he accepting of my love? Is he someone I can trust to hold my heart in his hand? If he is not, and I get involved with him anyway, I cannot be shocked or angry with the outcome.

[Toffee]

Toffee picks herself off the floor after receiving a cheap shot.

To me this is another case of person reading post and not understanding post.

Looking back to beginning of thread….
I don’t see where I said I wanted to be a fill in bytch. However, I did imply that I see nothing wrong with it.

Looking back further…
I don’t see where I said I was in a relationship with dude or had feeling for him. I applaud you if no one has ever used or taken advantage of you Sparkles (inc. family, friends, or lover). But just because you may not be able to handle casual sex does not mean that others would not be able to. Not every woman is looking for a relationship. Just as not every man is looking for a piece of ass. The problems are that people are deceptive. If you are honest about your intentions it will limit the amount of pain later. But like stated by Misha some people may letter develop feelings. Then if you still no he/she does not want a relationship then you have to remove yourself from the situation. But some people stay saying that I can change him, my pussy/dick is soo good he can’t leave me. I can give him/her what no one else can. Then what do they have a broken heart.

When you are staying in someone’s house you must show them respect. I’ve stayed with 2 friends before and I never brought guys by without asking them first. I made sure that I was as little trouble to them as possible. But unfortunately not everyone feels the same way. My mistake was not stating from the beginning that I have rules just like anyone else. And when my cousins (cousin, husband and their 2 small children) come stay with me for a month starting this weekend they will know this.

Misha stated that Sparkles might have been trying to point out some inconsistencies with my posts. But where are the contradictions?
If you read my post for what it is there are no contradictions. But if you try to formulate this one-sided love scenario then yes I can understand.

Y is it that people cannot read the posts for what they are? They must always compare it to how they would handle it and expect the person who wrote the post to respond the same way?

Y is that when two people are having casual sex, the female is considered the one being used?

[que90nek]

because we speak in generalities and averages....

on the average the person being used is the female...
on average the person that gets hurt emotionally is the female...
on average if a woman is honest with herself...sex is ultimately not the AIM.

*now...you ask me where i am getting my averages from...and i'll tell you i just made them up! :blah:*

there are exceptions to every rule.

[Sparkles]

I guess this thread has taken a bad turn, that wasn't my intentions. However, like I state before I just find it hard to believe that the hush ladies really wont the title of FIll in bitch, and like I also state if you LIke it, I LOVE it. Again this is just "MY" opinion and I am entitled..

Toffee I aplogize for the "cheap shot" but that it was not my intentions. Looking back I am sure i probably could have worded my thought differently, but the end result would have been the same.

Misha wasn't backing me about any contradiction in your post, shewas backing me about the fact that we have choice. Also the fact that women are okay with being considera fill in bitch. A man and woman can have casual sex that has be established. Again, as long as the 2 involved have that understanding in the beggining. Being a fill in bitch take the shit to another level. Btw- there can be fill in men also, but that's not what the discussion was.

Oh so sorry you took offense to my statement, but are you saying that married folks wouldn't understanding because why?!?!! I mean we hear about the married men on the hush scoping out the the hushladies attempting to make them fill in bitches , so what is your point! Hell I understand completely, and like I said before if YOU can handle it, it all gravy, and I applaud you ladies.
However if all that has been said is true then how do we know that the hush men are trying to kick game. Somebody is telling and if the situation(relationship) is casual then what is it to tell!?!?!:confused:

[mystkev]

I'll repeat myself, I don't have a problem being a fill-in I'd rather not be called a bitch, but so be it. Of course everyone has their differing opinions on that matter, if someone feels that being a fill-in they would be used, then obviously that is not the kind of relationship for them, I respect that. But, I would say that the way that some people expressed their opinions was kind of cold, but hey we are who we are.

[djackso]

The point that should be made is: Why would you want to be someone's fill-in? There is fulfillment out there for you that you can have all to yourself.

[mystkev]

Originally posted by djackso+
The point that should be made is: Why would you want to be someone's fill-in? There is fulfillment out there for you that you can have all to yourself. Well I wasn't trying to explain myself, I was just saying that I don't have a problem w/being one. Why does everthing have to be about love and someone loving you? I really don't care about that, I don't want a man all to myself, I'm not ready for a monogamous relationship w/anyone. Whether or not they have a girl is not my concern, never has been, never will be.

[Toffee]

Believe me it takes more than that to offend me. You have a right to your opinion as does everyone else. I just don't believe I have to resort to cheap shots to prove my point..

But DJackso if the man or woman is not ready to be involved in a relationship, why should they? If you force yourself into something you are not ready for, isn't that opening a another can of worms?

Please don't assume that the men are the only ones on the prowl here on the HUSH. I cannot believe that these women are trying to get first dibs on the men. PMing them. Trying to see who they know, who they doing, if they coming to hushnic....etc. Come on now>

[djackso]

Who likes being used? Being a fill-in is being used. Find a person who wants what you want. Every man who wants a casual relationship does not have a woman at home. Each their own. Just don't bash men when you get hurt!

[mystkev]

Originally posted by djackso+
Who likes being used? Being a fill-in is being used. Find a person who wants what you want. Every man who wants a casual relationship does not have a woman at home. Each their own. Just don't bash men when you get hurt! It's all in how you see it, b/c I don't think of it as being used. But if that's how you feel I respect that, but umm as far as me male bashing or getting hurt, ain't gonna happen. I don't get caught up like that. Plus, every woman who has sex w/a man does not want more than a casual relationship. Like I said before, whether he has a woman doesn't matter.

[D2daO2da]

Who originated that Fill In Bitch term anyhow.

D

[mystkev]

Originally posted by D2daO2da
Who originated that Fill In Bitch term anyhow.

D Misha brought up the term in one thread and then she started another thread about the fill in bitch, in there she explains where she got the term.

http://64.119.160.239/onthehush/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2479

[shtalker]

Bump^