What if you found out someone you loved was HIV+

[FAMU]

hypothetically...I'm not talking just anyone...I'm talking about someone who you felt was "the one" before you found out... Or someone you are involved with (not sexually yet)

Or what if you just found out that they were dying in general? Would you maintain your love for them knowing you will have eventual sadness in the near future?

What would you do?

[mystkev]

If I'm truly in love it would not matter if they were HIV+. Remember being HIV+ isn't an automatic death sentence, I could have many years to enjoy that person.

If I found out they were dying from something else that was more immediate, I would still be there for them. Once again, I would enjoy the time I have with that person. I would try to help make their last days easier, especially if they are in pain.

That's really selfish to leave someone when they get sick, they certainly couldn't be the one you wanted to settle down with, because marriage is supposed to be "for better or worse", "in sickness and health".

[dulce]

damn, famu - there's so many ways this could go...and my reaction would be according to those variables...

scenarion 1: we haven't "done it" yet

my first inclination would be to be there for that person - if they were "the one", but only as a friend. I would not get sexually involved with them - have my son to think about and gotta stay around as long as I can. although it's hard to imagine thinking someone is the one and there hasn't been any sex...usually that's all part of the package.

scenario 2: we "did it"

before I decide, I would need to find out how they contracted it...if it was unusual risky behavior (most folks have "forgotten" the condom at least once) like drugs or homosexual activity, then I would be done with this person because they were dishonest with me. These are questions I ask before doing the deed, so they lied and that's it.

if they were dying of something else - like cancer - then I would definitely continue the relationship and be there for that person.

whew - you got folks thinking hard this AM!

[D2daO2da]

I met a young lady that I was diggin back in the day. We were real cool.. and decided to go out one night. We went to the RITZ in DC... he he he, and She felt real comfortable with me and told me in the club that she was HIV+. I didn't trip. I spent the next three hours asking her questions and getting a good education from a great friend. Things have not changed, we are still friends and will be forever. We never done anything and she trusted me enough to include me in her circle with that information.

There are a lot of other things a person could have besides HIV, our black women are dying from breast cancer so I think that regardless of the issue they have.. if I want to be there I will. HIV doesn't scare me off. Only because of my past experience. so i have a personal advantage.

There are a lot of folks that are positive and don't even know it. She also informed me that there are a lot of people that take care of themselves so well that if they took a test it would come up negative.. and they are HIV positive. So, you don't know what you are getting into. Trust me she didn't look like she even had a cold... But sjhe had my undivided attention and it made me more wiser in my decisions to be with people.

D

[lightandlovely1]

If HIV was the problem, I would discontinue the physical aspects of the relationship but continue to be in their lives.

If they were dying of some other non-contagious disease, I would still be there but I wouldn't be concerned about the physical aspects.

[OhSoPrecious]

I got a call from my EX a week before my birthday in June of 1996. . I was five months pregnant (not with his child - he was an EX for at least a year or so - but, we had been together for six years). . he called to tell me that he tested positive for HIV~!! :(

I had just been tested when I found out I was pregnant a few months before. . but, got tested again after his call just for a peace of mind. . I tested negative and have been tested every year since then~!! :upretty


I still loved him, but was not in love with him~!! :rolleyes: So, it kind of bothered me for a while. . . he's doing really well living with being HIV positive~!! :rolleyes:

[SoftNwet]

I wanted a physical relationship with and he let me know that he was positive. By that time I already considered us to be very close friends so that is how it stayed. We enjoyed plays and parties right up until he died. His family treated me as family and helped me get through his death. True friendship is so hard to come by so to have met him and been able to enjoy the last year or so of his life was a blessing to me. I still miss him......The worse part is that he was an identical twin, so I had to stay away from his brother for a long time. It messed up my head every time I would see. But now we are cool.

[Tastey]

If they were HIV positive nothing would change. If they had full blown AIDS, I'd move on and be there for them as a friend.

If they were dying of something else...nothing would change.

[Andre98]

... to the bitter end...
dang, this is a damn sad picture to paint... and when it was over, someone would have to keep an eye on me for a while, keep me away from sharp objects...

[HulaSista]

hmmmm my worse fear...

there were times when i was pregnant and each time i had to take a test and i was more scared of the results than of being pregnant and they always came back... negative...

i hope i never get this call or have to make this call. i would be in shock for a long time before i can deal. but i am sure i would come out in the right attitude.

[seductive_tee]

First and foremeost, i would not disown them...i would always be there friend...regardless of sex or not.

But if it was someone i was truly in love with, i'd be right by there side.

[NYC_924]

if i was truly in love...i'd stay with them and enjoy the time taht we have left....i dont' think i could be that selfish to just abandon them....