How did your last heartbreak change you?

[FAMU]

How did your last heartbreak change you? Explain, what happen.

[mystkev]

My last heartbreak made me not want to have a boyfriend anymore. Honesty is really important to me and my experience is full of liars and game players. It is hard for me to trust men.

[CLSmooove]

My ex-husband made me be the person that I really am... Honestly I lost me when I was married to him and I learned a big lesson.... No One can Love you if u dont Love yourself First.... So my Husband now catches HELL so to speak.... I say what I wanna say no holding back.... But I also learned to not tell my mother everything thats going on in this marriage.... Taint none her bidness....

[D2daO2da]

My last heartbreak I saw coming. I was engaged to a person that really wanted a ring. She was on a mission to get this Paul Klecka Original.. that would have been about 8,000. She wouldn't budge off of this ring. Her best friend was getting married and she caught the wedding bug to and thought that I was the one to get her this ring. She hated on my weight, my ride, my job and made it up in her mind that she should have the ring by her birthday. I told her to tell her friends that they had to wait for a ring.. because that's who she wanted to show it off to anyhow. She lived in the projects and thought she lived in the Beverly Hills. So she decided that it wasn't worth being in a relationship anymore because she didn't get this ring on her b-day and wanted to know why. Mind you she and her mom moved to Las Vegas and I had no intentions on seeing them off. I was tired of the hatin and so when she broke it off.. I didn't really care. She wanted to know WHY she didn't get the ring.. I didn't and never will answer her.. I'll take that to the grave.

What broke my heart is that this was my best friend for 10 years and that she was so shallow and impatient and this is someone I thought I knew. So I was upset for a while. My second CD was dedicated to her.. well 7 songs. www.mp3.com/dofni

How has it changed me. Well I am the nicest guy and I don't play materialistic BS. I communicate very well. I nip things in the bud. I let people know what bothers me and let them know that if there is anything that I do that offends them.. to let me know. I am very approachable and I think about other peoples feelings a lil more. Also I know all about Diamonds and Rings and Precious metals. I am a little more sensative to the marrying type..

D

[que90nek]

wow...d2daO....wow.

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by mystkev+
My last heartbreak made me not want to have a boyfriend anymore. Honesty is really important to me and my experience is full of liars and game players. It is hard for me to trust men.

I feel the same way, girl~!! :rolleyes: But, it has made me the most miserable person to feel like I can't trust men~!! :(

I never let my guard down~!!

It's like when I meet someone. . . I expect them to "fuck up". . . and when they do (and they almost always do), I am not dissappointed~!! :rolleyes:

But, I don't want to keep living my life like this. . . it's no fun~!! :hammer

[misha]

My last heartbreak taught me not to take mens fuck ups personally. I know that any man that has those kind of issues, had them before me and will have them after me.

That has truly freed my mind. It seemed that after a man hurt me, I would always want to know why. And then I realized that the answer wasn't always me....but it was something in his own mind.

I also have begun to take more responsibility in the type of men I choose. Instead of meeting someone, and hanging until they fuck up, I am more able to see what kind of man he is and make a decision....is this the man I want to wake up next to every day? Is this the man that will support me emotionally? Is this the man that I want around my child? Don't take long to decide...if I cannot answer yes to those questions....

I have also learned to say to myself, is this man pleasing me? Is he satisfying me? I used to do so much to make the man pleased, to satisfy them...giving them all the power in the relationship, but I had to start saying, hold on, wait a minute. I am so concerned that I am what he deserves....is he what I deserve?

[dulce]

I second everything in Misha's post - took me a long time to get there tho'...also, I don't let any bullshit slide because I know what I want and drama ain't it...so, no, I'm not a hard-ass but honesty is #1 and if I can't get that, then don't want nothing from that person...

[Sparkles]

the party where you said you have taken responsibiity in te type of man you choose...


Originally posted by misha+
My last heartbreak taught me not to take mens fuck ups personally. I know that any man that has those kind of issues, had them before me and will have them after me.

That has truly freed my mind. It seemed that after a man hurt me, I would always want to know why. And then I realized that the answer wasn't always me....but it was something in his own mind.

I also have begun to take more responsibility in the type of men I choose. Instead of meeting someone, and hanging until they fuck up, I am more able to see what kind of man he is and make a decision....is this the man I want to wake up next to every day? Is this the man that will support me emotionally? Is this the man that I want around my child? Don't take long to decide...if I cannot answer yes to those questions....

I have also learned to say to myself, is this man pleasing me? Is he satisfying me? I used to do so much to make the man pleased, to satisfy them...giving them all the power in the relationship, but I had to start saying, hold on, wait a minute. I am so concerned that I am what he deserves....is he what I deserve?

[SoftNwet]

Right on point with what you said.
I learned tha until I love me that no one would and that if he is phucked up in the head it ain't becuase of me.......he had shit on his mind before we ever met!!!!

[Vronni]

Originally posted by Misha

I have also learned to say to myself, is this man pleasing me? Is he satisfying me? I used to do so much to make the man pleased, to satisfy them...giving them all the power in the relationship, but I had to start saying, hold on, wait a minute. I am so concerned that I am what he deserves....is he what I deserve?


Amen,Misha!My last breakup taught me that I need to be patient and hold out for the right relationship instead of settling,just to say I have a man....

[seductive_tee]

My last and only heartbreak made me bitter, angry, spiteful, not to give a flying f*ck...led right to his superior, a married man. I was dead set on making him hurt like he hurt me, he did and it showed just recently.

Am i still like that...NO..I've let it go and the love i had for him. Has he let it go..I don't think so.

[Brightness]

My last heartbreak was with my last boyfriend over six years ago. . .I hurt more with that than I did with my daughter's father. I realized I had low-expectations of him so it was hard to hurt much from something you could foresee and tried to give the benefit of the doubt.

I think I may be a little more closed than I was before the relationship but I've gotten over it slowly. . .not entirely and it's still a process. I know that I need a man who has patience with me and not think I'm playing coy which is what often happens. I kinda avoid dating men because they may expect things of me that I'm not willing to give. . .which is mainly my heart.

[MsMeelah]

My last heartbreak was probably the best thing that happened to me, although I didn't realize it at the time...

[davinci]

my ex and i had an on again off again marriage. it wasn't until i left to go overseas thinking we were all good and getting a "dear john" letter that i realized my problem.

i used to deny myself all the time for others. my childhood and my service life demanded that of me. i took that into my marriage and allowed someone to walk over me.

i learned to be a bit more selfish. courteous, but selfish. a lesson that took 5 years to learn.

[MsMeelah]

AMEN Davinci!!! Same here.. I definitely learned to put ME first

[lightandlovely1]

Originally posted by mystkev+
My last heartbreak made me not want to have a boyfriend anymore. Honesty is really important to me and my experience is full of liars and game players. It is hard for me to trust men.

That has been my exact experience. After my heart was broken, I really didn't want to be involved with another man. My trust had been destroyed. When a man was talking to me, I found myself watching him wondering what part was a lie.

I date a lot and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to commit myself to another man because the hurt was so deep. Lately, I've been blessed to run into good, decent, HONEST men - something that was lacking in my last relationship - and my faith is being restored in men. I've met someone that seems nice enough but time will tell.

The biggest change is that I'm no longer an optimist when it comes to romance. I'm very, very cautious and I no longer trust easily.

[lightandlovely1]

Originally posted by Vronni+
Originally posted by Misha




Amen,Misha!My last breakup taught me that I need to be patient and hold out for the right relationship instead of settling,just to say I have a man....

Amen! holding out is what I've been doing - and doing it without anxiety. I want someone who makes me happy - who makes ME his priority - and who I will make happy.

[MsTopshelf]

My last heartbreak taught me alot--good and bad!

GOOD- I learned to get an understanding in the beginning to see if you and the other person want the same thing out of a relationship. I learned not to TAKE NO SHIT from a man at all. If he lies give him a damnn hard time about it and put the fear of God in his ass so he won't lie anymore. I learned to be more expressive and say what the hell is on my mind instead of holding it in and I learned that a man will only let you do what you allow him to do. I learned to keep my friends out of my business!

BAD- I learned THE GAME!:rolleyes:

[HulaSista]

My last boyfriend i was with for a year and a half. Was pregnant twice by him. Lost the baby. He was not there the first time...

And the second time happened and he acted a mothafucken fool. He had done A LOT in between, but, the things he did (threw all my personals in front of my door) and said (no i don't want to have the baby because my first son is not here with me (he was in florida) and i don't want to take anything away from him...)

My initial change was as Mystkev described. Not trusting. Needed honesty (boy was he a good liar) and just didn't feel like being bothered. I was so sick over the situation, that if a dude asked me out, i really wanted to throw up. it was mental, but, DAYUM, i had to turn guys away for a good 1.5 year because i felt so sick.

the second phase started last year... i was tryna heal... and realized that i still had not "healed". i was dating a dude and he talked BIG shit about being with me but wouldn't put up any effort towards it. i recognized that shit after a month (rather than a year and a half) and the lessons Misha describes started coming to light.

Phase 3 kicked in in October. Met my brother and my father for the first time. Man..... that was a killer. Realized how my father was at the root of my problems.

Now... I feel complete. I be damn if more GOOD men have come around talking "relationship" then ever before. It is true that when you take the focus off lookin and you work on healing yourself...how they come. I am more alert and aware and have taught myself to:

ENJOY MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST! I live vicariously through my son and have become a better mommy as a result of it!

and the bad effects, as MsTopShelf says: I learned the game! :D

[dns70]

Well, first of all, my LAST heartbreak was my FIRST heartbreak and it taught me an incredible amount of lessons and I will list them out...

1) It taught me to grow up! Life is not a game and I was walking through it like a grown adolescent. You see, I didn't have any losses or disappointments until 2001 (my worst year ever).

2) Your emotions and those of others are important and time is precious. You don't need to take 3 years to figure out you love someone. Once you find it, fight to keep it. I had to re-evaluate where I was going, what I was doing and why was I doing it.

3) It taught me that I was selfish and lazy. Selfish in terms of money, time and affection. Lazy, in the sense that I became complacent and took the relationship for granted. It's a job and just like a job in order to keep it you have to work at it.

4) It taught me never to put all of your eggs into one basket. Sure, this person makes me happy, but they are their very own person. They can leave at any moment and if they do, you better be able to keep on moving because they ain't slowing down for you.

5) It taught me, the mighty mighty dns70, that I ain't all that. And nobody else is either. I can be in better shape, I can eat healthier, I can have my life even more in order, I can help even more people, I can do even better by others. I can be more responsible for my actions, more responsible for my life. I can be a better brother, a better son, a better Christian, a better employee.

6) I learned who were my friends and who weren't. simple as that.

7) I learned to keep my problems and emotions to myself and only the select few out there that I can trust.

8) It taught me some of the things I need to get together before I try to share my life with someone else. And it taught me what I need to do in my next relationship to keep it working and make it permanent. Because the next thing I'm looking for is permanence.

[Versatile]

My last ex made me have a 0 percent tolerance for anytpe of BS what so ever.

[Bedroomeyes]

taught me to never assume anything and you can give your everything and it still will not be enough if it's not meant to be..

Let's just say it woke me up and now I see relationships in a whole new light... :upto:

[sistuhchey]

The wolf in sheep's clothing....:fu :blah: :blah: .......

but don't stop loving....cause it felt good before it went sour!!!:rolleyes:

[Reesecup1]

Originally posted by dns70+
Well, first of all, my LAST heartbreak was my FIRST heartbreak and it taught me an incredible amount of lessons and I will list them out...

1) It taught me to grow up! Life is not a game and I was walking through it like a grown adolescent. You see, I didn't have any losses or disappointments until 2001 (my worst year ever).

2) Your emotions and those of others are important and time is precious. You don't need to take 3 years to figure out you love someone. Once you find it, fight to keep it. I had to re-evaluate where I was going, what I was doing and why was I doing it.

3) It taught me that I was selfish and lazy. Selfish in terms of money, time and affection. Lazy, in the sense that I became complacent and took the relationship for granted. It's a job and just like a job in order to keep it you have to work at it.

4) It taught me never to put all of your eggs into one basket. Sure, this person makes me happy, but they are their very own person. They can leave at any moment and if they do, you better be able to keep on moving because they ain't slowing down for you.

5) It taught me, the mighty mighty dns70, that I ain't all that. And nobody else is either. I can be in better shape, I can eat healthier, I can have my life even more in order, I can help even more people, I can do even better by others. I can be more responsible for my actions, more responsible for my life. I can be a better brother, a better son, a better Christian, a better employee.

6) I learned who were my friends and who weren't. simple as that.

7) I learned to keep my problems and emotions to myself and only the select few out there that I can trust.

8) It taught me some of the things I need to get together before I try to share my life with someone else. And it taught me what I need to do in my next relationship to keep it working and make it permanent. Because the next thing I'm looking for is permanence.


You may not have took the exact words out of my mouth, but I'm feeling you on this, forreal. Got me ready to call up my ex, and apologize again, for how immature I was in the relationship....

Yeah right..... I'll be movin' on

[Reesecup1]

Originally posted by Versatile+
My last ex made me have a 0 percent tolerance for anytpe of BS what so ever.


U Go, with your bad a**!

[HulaSista]

hmmm... here it is 2 years later... this was a nice journal