Givin' it up

[14KBlaqWmn]

If you've ever went without sex for a long period of time, what was your reason.

If you're still sexually active, but have had thoughts of abstaining, why have't you given it up?

I haven't had sex in almost a year. I chose to give up sex because I wanted to get on the good foot spiritually not to mention that I want a more meaningful bond with someone and in turn our love making would be a reflection of that. I got tired of doing it just because or because I kinda liked someone.

[Mocha]

The reason for me going for 6 months (the longest) without having sex was because, I wasn't messing with anyone at the time. And there was no one I was interested in just having casual sex with.

I have never wanted to abstain from sex. Now I have decided to eliminate casual sex, Hopefully durning the getting to know you stage they will realize that is not want I am looking for and not play games and move on if that is only what they want.

[OhSoPrecious]

The longest time was for six months. . . didn't do it just cause I didn't hook up with my Hush brotha in that period of time~!! :rolleyes:

But, that six month drought ended this past Monday night~!! :upto: It wasn't with my Hush brotha though~!! :rolleyes:

(sigh)

[mystkev]

The longest I have gone w/o sex is 1yr and 7mos. I did so, because I was not comfortable w/myself. I needed to gain self-confidence, plus there was not anyone that sparked my interest. It was almost as if I had no sexual desire that entire time.

I have thought about abstaining from sex again and I am slowly weaning myself. I go back and forth, so I just go w/what I want at the moment. I do not have any specific reason for wanting to abstain from sex, which is probably why I haven’t started yet.

[Mocha]

what are usually the reason why people sustain from sex, or feel they have to...I know a majority sometime are religious reasons, but do individuals have other reasons?

I have never felt that I had to sustain from sex because I knew sex was not apart of some of the issues I was going through. If I felt like things were not right in my life or I was focused, I really never felt sex was it, I just felt l had to get it to gether or get that individual out of my life, but sex was not controlling the situation.

Are we letting sex control us and that is why many need to abstain from having sex, until they feel they are right?

[nubianx2]

The longest I've gone it 2 years, this was after leaving my x-husband. I just really felt that I needed the time to align myself spirtually and mentally.

Since then the longest has been 6 months, and that was because I didn't want casual sex.

[14KBlaqWmn]

To answer your question Mocha. I LOVED sex. At one point it was controlling me. Even when I wasn't sexin' somebody, I had to masturbate. I had to do something. I often slept with folks that I knew, but wasn't really interested in anything serious.

After doing a self evaluation the first time, I realized that I wasn't happy with that, so I only slept with folks that I was pursuing something serious with. Still wasn't happy. Did another evaluation and found that I was using sex as a buffer to some degree not to mention that it seemed that when I was having the most problems with my life it was when I was having sex. I found myself feeling lost and so distant from God. I prayed for forgiveness and for Him to help deliver me. Since then, the desires do still hit, but not as often or as extreme as before. When they do enter my mind and body, I pray. I've definitely seen a change in my life over the last year and I thank God for it.

[HulaSista]

when i have sustained, it was in voluntare because i don't make it a point to call a person for sex. they have to go to great lengths for me to WANT it from them. (the longest was 1 year)

[mystkev]

Sex at that time did not control me, I stopped b/c I had an experience w/a shitty ass guy and I did not want sex at all. I do have casual sex although I still do not feel that I am out of control. It's not about emotions for me, just the physical act.

[misha]

The longest i went without was 3 years. I left my ex husband, and he was very violent. I hated the thought of even being touched.

I met someone else 1 and a half years later, and he turned out to be violent too. I knew there was something terribly wrong. That is when I decided, no more men, no more sex until I figure it out and fix it.

[Brightness]

Originally posted by 14KBlaqWmn+
If you've ever went without sex for a long period of time, what was your reason.


I've had sustained periods of abstinence (10 mos - 19 mos) for a variety of reasons but the most common one is for two reasons: because it tends to get in the way of my (past) relationships and spiritual disconnectedness.

I won't say that I'm ruled by sex but I do enjoy it when it's within the correct context and when my mental isn't getting as stimulated as my body then I lose interest. It's happened enough times for me to be able to discern it. I haven't been able to be casually detached from sex for a while. . .years so I have to have genuine interest, attraction and feelings. When I have done it casually, I haven't like the person that I was. . . for me, there's no amount of sexing that can erase that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach and I just don't do well trying to rationalize or disguise it.


Originally posted by 14KBlaqWmn+
If you're still sexually active, but have had thoughts of abstaining, why have't you given it up?


I can go in and out of doing without sex, it's really not a problem to abstain. I haven't always done it 100% though, sometimes I've masturbated or engage in oral while not having intercouse and other times I've done none of the above.

[Bedroomeyes]

The longest I have went without was a year and a half.. I did this because I chose to take a break and try the relationship with no sex way.. I did however find ways to please myself.. Not sure if that will count as sex... :confused:

[PecanTan]

My hubby is away in Bosnia, so that is why I have been w/o for about a year, except when he came home on his breaks. It is not so bad, I still have my toys.

[KissableSexyShortStuff]

Originally posted by 14KBlaqWmn
If you've ever went without sex for a long period of time, what was your reason.

If you're still sexually active, but have had thoughts of abstaining, why have't you given it up?

I haven't had sex in almost a year. I chose to give up sex because I wanted to get on the good foot spiritually not to mention that I want a more meaningful bond with someone and in turn our love making would be a reflection of that. I got tired of doing it just because or because I kinda liked someone.


The longest was for for 2 years I was being the faithful girlfriend:beating :confused:


I have done it for 8 months.... I was going though an emotional time and a man put me there so...............

[Pamalicious]

Well I went 20 months after my husband passed for obvious reasons but then I did another stint because I just wasn't feeling it.

Probably about to go on another one - cause it's boring to me right now. Why haven't I given it up? Well I am 'looking' for something and I keep thinking there will be a different outcome but it isn't - so I am just bored, nothing is being stimulated but my loins and it's just boring so I'd rather not even go there, but I haven't totally made up my mind, lol

[RockYoKoo]

Originally posted by Brightness



I can go in and out of doing without sex, it's really not a problem to abstain. I haven't always done it 100% though, sometimes I've masturbated or engage in oral while not having intercouse and other times I've done none of the above.

How can you just engage in Oral and not want more, especially if your partner is fully equipped?

Most women want to finish, feeling some thickness inside of them.......

That must be some will power....

[RockYoKoo]

I went about 6 months and about a year before having any meaning full sex, after a long term relationship I had.

Yep....

Rock on....

[ramrodque]

The longest I've gone without sex was 5 months.

I was in grad school and all I did was study, drink, have sex and study. What's missing in this equation? GOD. I got to a point where I would get it and not cum for about an hour because I was really beginning to hate sex and myself.

Do you all remember a post I wrote when I was talking about shooting myself. I have NEVER been depressed to that point and I hated myself. So I stop, asked for forgiveness and moved on. It took a minute, but it happened. I HATED SEX. After that fell back in it a few times. I was still working on abstaining. It was tough when it was readily available and I knew I could get it. A college setting didn't help either.

MAN UP NICKA!!