Emotional Needs.......

[Versatile]

My cousin called me yesterday to tell me he had proposed to his girlfriend of 1.5 yrs. I kinda knew it was coming but he asked me, for my approval. Of course I gave it to him but, we also started talking about emotional needs. If I were to marry again today, my fiancee would have to meet my top 6 emotional needs and continue to make a daily deposit of these emotional needs in the love bank. My cousin had some of the crazy emotional needs I ever heard of....so I had to see if I could find some that topped his. In no specific order, I have listed my five. I will tell later what his were. *LOL*

1) Conversation
2) Sexual Filfullment
3) Affection
4) Honesty & Openess
5) Financially Supportive
6) Have some qualities of what I consider to be physically attractive.

[Mocha]

1. God is First
2. Stability (Mentally, Financially)
3. Sexual Fullfillment
4. Humor
5. Honesty
6. Patient

[CD]

Versitale+

I'm a little lost with your post. How does emotional needs turn into financial support, physical attractiveness? I'm just trying to understand.

I've always had issue when I here a woman say "emotional needs". Can a woman explain that to me, please! I always here that term used by a woman as her reason to step out on olde boy.

[Mocha]

Come on Cat....think about it.

If your not finacially stable and that is something you feel you needs. You will be emotionally fucked up....Think about it...you struggling trying to make ends, your partner is not helping..please how does that not effect your emotions?

First how do you seperate emotional needs from anything...your emotions are apart of you, there your feelings, your reactions....Cat Daddy you just emotionally confused me.:confused:

[Versatile]

emotionally , I will start to break down if I have to support a man financially for a long period of time. Secondly, I knew physically attractiveness would be controversial but, I keep it real and if I can't find any type of physically attractive feature on a man, he could forget about having sex with me because I can't get into it emotionally. Emotional needs are different per person and some may even be deemed personal. So, if you are on of those who do not worry about the weight, hair style, or even physical hygiene of a man, that's your thing, I can't knock you for that. I think you confused the physical attractiveness with looks. I wasn't referring to that at all.

[CD]

Those things you mentioned are a concern, but those things are personal. Do you need someone to bring that to you or do you really want to rely on someone else for those things. Don't you think that brings undo stress to the relationship.

I will speak for myself, it is not in my nature to address every situation from an emotional stand point.

[CD]

They are just that, Feelings.

I think that's where most of us get messed up at. Just because you feel something don't mean its right.

Your feelings are based on your life experiance and personal make-up.

For example, say you were always poor growing up, when someone talks about money or what money can do for you, you get turned off or you are not interested since you may have a negative attitude when comes to money since you never had any. Your feeling may just keep you from what is good for you. I say sometime you got to step back and look at things with out the emotional attachments.

[Mocha]

You asked how does emotional needs turn into financial and physical.

Emotions are feelings, strong feelings, light feelings, their feelings.

Emontional needs are sparked by those feelings. Disguss is a emotion, hate, happy, etc. are feelings.

Now rather I can do it myself is not the question...the question was when you look for a mate what are the things you need. Now I want my mate to meet those needs. I want my mate to be financially stable as he would want me, so emotionally this relationship will last. Personally I want him to satisfy me physically ( I don't wanna do that alone) so I am happy (emotions)...

We have been brain washed to believe anything relating to emotions is weak...emotions are your feelings...all of them. How is it possible to keep emotions in our everyday decisions and lives...

[Versatile]

Originally posted by Mocha+
Emotions are feelings, strong feelings, light feelings, their feelings.

[Mocha]

your emotions can get you in trouble or out of trouble but just because you don't put the "emotional", "weak" "sensitive side" in your decisions, doesn't mean that what ever feeling or strentgh you use is not emotions either...you just used different emotional strengths...

[que90nek]

hmmmm

[que90nek]

so after this can we name our top 6 PHYSICAL needs...and will the answer be the same?

[CD]

Originally posted by Mocha+
but just because you don't put the "emotional", "weak" "sensitive side" in your decisions, doesn't mean that what ever feeling or strentgh you use is not emotions either...you just used different emotional strengths...

I will admit that I never looked at it that way. I've always been trained to seperate the two or at least identify where the motivation comes from.

Also I don't emotions = weak, I think emotions have there place. I'm emotional at times, but I try not to let them rule me all the time.

[CD]

Originally posted by que90nek+
so after this can we name our top 6 PHYSICAL needs...and will the answer be the same?


- At least 5'6" and shorter than or equal to 6'
- Clear complextion
- Feminine features(pretty eyes, full lips, small wast, wide hips, full bust, pretty hands)
- Pretty feet
- Gap
- Long legs

[que90nek]

that's kinda my point...

if u can list physical things as emotional needs...you should have the same list for physical needs. :rolleyes:


i.e. my emotional need is light skinned honey. my physical need is light skinned honey.


i guess i really am not sure what emotional needs are...are they the same as spiritual needs...social needs...

[Mocha]

you are thinking about it to hard when it is just that simple...emotional needs are nothing more then feelings...

and CD giving us all his physical attributes can emotionally do something to somebody..they work together, you can't leave out your emotions...

CD has a gap (physical)

Mocha is turned on by a gap (emotional) I get excited, overwhelmed, hot, horney from a gap...Some people need to be emotionally charged by certain physical things..

As far as if they are the same as spritiual needs/social needs...you can completetly have different list, but rather you say it or list it, there are emotional connections behind your spirtual or social needs...

[lightandlovely1]

Originally posted by Versatile+
1) Conversation
2) Sexual Filfullment
3) Affection
4) Honesty & Openess
5) Financially Supportive
6) Have some qualities of what I consider to be physically attractive.

I would add only that we must share religious values.

[sistuhchey]

my emotional needs have yet been fulfilled completely by a s/o.......I don't even like friends that tug at my heart strings regularly....emotions/feelings whatever..can make a person too needy...creating co-dependancy...I choose to tackle my own emotions or demons... however.....it's nice to have some one there if and when you stumble......dust me off..give me a pep talk, a hug....and some loving...and I'll be ready to continue.