A observation on looks

[FAMU]

I was talking with some friends the other day and we began to talk about dating and marriage. One of my family friends made the obsevation that the older you get the less looks matter. She stated that when she was in her early twenties she was looking for a certain type of guy. Now that she is older her standards have somewhat drop. Is this a true observation? How much does look matter to you?

[Versatile]

give me about 14 years and I'll let you know. :D

[mystkev]

Maybe your friend had high standards and she became more realistic as she got older. Looks have never mattered that much to me, personality has always had more weight.

[nubianx2]

As you grow older you become more wiser. You also realize that things/qualities that you initially though were highly important were actually not items that make for a good s/o.

[Mocha]

I think your standards change when you realize how unrealistic they are especially after so long.

But again some people standards change when they realize....they ass still single!

[Melotic]

The physical appearance must still be neatly wrapped...

[HulaSista]

i think this is true. i think one must acknowledge it to be true for themselves for it to be true at all.

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by Mocha+
But again some people standards change when they realize....they ass still single!

Damn, Mocha. . that hurt~!!! :eek: LOL

There is some truth to this, FAMU~!! :upretty However, I am still a sucker for a handsome face~!! ;)

[misha]

I find that as I get older, what I perceive as attractive changes...so I guess it could be said that my standards change. I feel also that I have put looks into the proper perspective. I am more focused on a man being my life partner, than how good he looks.

[Toffee]

I think we begin to realise that not all great things come in pretty packages.

[Toffee]

I think we learn that not all great gifts come in pretty packages.

[Bedroomeyes]

I can find some truth in this... But I still want something nice to look at... :p

[lightandlovely1]

Looks are important but only insofar as what you, the individual, wants. For me, I like a nice looking man but who's to say that what's nice looking to me will be to the next woman. I want the whole package - attractive to me mentally and physically.

[Brightness]

. . .and I still want a man who's a certain height, weight and physical build

. . .and to quote Mocha "my ass is still single" . . .lol

However, I don't have a problem with that. . . .I [try] to keep my package tight and want the same in return.

[D2daO2da]

That's not true. I still want a pretty woman, I just want them smarter now.

"Cant trust a Big Butt and a Smile, That Girl is Poison"
BBD

D

Bright - I'm 6'5".. he he he

[lightandlovely1]

I also want an intelligent, handsome man who is not totally weighed down by narcissism and doesn't have a whole bunch of baby mammas and a whole bunch of other dramas. Sheesh!
:eek:

[Brightness]

I have maintained some of the same basic/minimum standards and through dating have known for a fact that it's men out there with very strong criteria in there likes/dislikes also.

I have found that the personality & intangibles are the same all the way around.

As I've aged, I've become more attractive to older men who are less attractive physically to me...I'm trying to wrap my mind around the realities of being attracted to someone without the sexual attraction. And I'm not even talking about that intensity you have as you're younger....I'm talking about the mild spark that puts a little glaze on your panties.

I'm wondering what the next step is....how does one get to not caring when you haven't both progressed, regressed, evolved together looks-wise?

This brings me to another point I was running past some male friends...new thread coming.


. . .and I still want a man who's a certain height, weight and physical build

. . .and to quote Mocha "my ass is still single" . . .lol

However, I don't have a problem with that. . . .I [try] to keep my package tight and want the same in return.

[Brightness]

Had this conversation w/male friend and he says that physical attraction is a given.

Other male friend says its realistic to what you look like. You can't be a nickel seeking a dime nor a penny trying to pull a nickel..

Also women tend to be more forgiving regarding men's looks if he brings more to the table.

[sistuhchey]

interesting conversation indeed.......I was just speaking w/ a "brotha"..this weekend...and he specifically said...it's hard for brotha's to break away from what black folks deem a good looking black woman...he literally went there.....ummmm...light w/ long hair :eek:..I'm like wow...2010..and I just chuckeled :rolleyes:

[HulaSista]

i have noticed that some men NOW say 'looks don't matter' and they are fleeting, compared to the emphasis on top grade beauty 10 years ago. i wouldn't want to be on the side of the 'ugly duckling' in a man's choice. its as if to say, "if you can't get the best, get 5th best". i need to feel the man genuinely enjoys my beauty.

i on the other hand have decided to stop giving in to guys who are less attractive than my preference, as i did in the past. i don't get any where with them because of my own personal issues (read: I am as vain and shallow as they come).

i'll always want a good looking man no matter what age i am. i may not TALK about it as much as i use to... but i'll never sugar coat who i find attractive and who i do not. i am notorious for warning my female friends and family if a guy is not attractive. and they have never been shy about telling me their thoughts on my mans looks just the same lol... (however, i do not plan on having those warning convos any more)

[Brightness]

Funny how the men come across like you're desperate enough to settle.

My thinking is if I can outlast, outwit & outlive you then I may as well go younger!

Why saddle up w/your brokedown ass after you been rode hard & put up wet?

[HulaSista]

Bright, isn't THAT the truth?!!!!!!

Oddly enough, the last guy to tell me "looks don't matter/fleeting" was, himself, SUPER fine; I don't know if he was trying to talk bad about women's upkeep, the aging process, or shield his insecurity about his own looks. I was surprised to hear him say this.

[sistuhchey]

well, I still believe beauty is the eye of the beholder....

what looks good to one..may be average or a bugga bear to someone else...

I was suprised to to hear that brothas still think lightness & "good hair" equates to beautiful...

[Brightness]

I am not talking drop-dead handsome face because in truth I PREFER a man whose face has some rugged character (think sexy athlete w/fading facial scar & may have broken a bone or two), hard hands (but not ashy) MINUS chewed up or dirty fingernails and have a manly body that isn't already brokedown with one foot in the grave.