HulaSista
01-15-2002, 12:05 AM
I don’t doubt you.
I doubt your ability to love
to love me
to love at all
the person which brings you comfort
also brings you suffering
is it because you don’t want to love
because you don’t feel like loving
is it that I’m in the way
its to late for me
i’ve already torn myself apart
piece
by
piece
I’m surprise my child still recognizes me
I have to be the ugliest person walking on the face of this planet
imagine me please:
eyes swollen to the size of two plump plums ripe in the summertime
lips chapped and cracked like fresh ashes fallen from fresh lit cigarettes
cheeks red as the nail polish I wore for you on fingernails at the tips of fingers that have caressed your sweet skin scented in musk and sweat…
skin raw from many cold nights waiting your arrival in the dead winter watching for your car to turn the corner leading to my home…
ears deafened from listening to my soul cry for you.
The shrieks and shrills sounding much like one who have lost her salvation…her soul…her saving grace…her messiah…her master…
“OH LORD! IF YOU HAD NOT SAVED ME I DON’T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE…”
Days and nights have gone by
eves and morns are lost
no way out
no way to search
no way in
no where to go
my heart beaten to near death by my brain
my conscious reprimands that which is truly lost
on the strings of my heart you can hear a song playing
one which tells the story of a blossoming star child with her head in the clouds and her heart on fire
but she is a woman to fear
you never know your own fate if you allow her to fall in love with you
beware for her wrath is violent
I know how she feels
heart bleeding
drop
by
drop
imagine the look of amazement when she looks down and sees her breast soiled from the blood gaping from the hole in her chest
blinded still, in disbelief, still
that her lover questions the authority of her love for him
anger rising and falling
her peace of mind shattered
everywhere she walks
there marks a cut in her feet from the mirror which crashes as the knowledge that her lover desires her no more.
Imagine her fate
death
by ill-waited rejection
By: Hulasista, c. 1998
I doubt your ability to love
to love me
to love at all
the person which brings you comfort
also brings you suffering
is it because you don’t want to love
because you don’t feel like loving
is it that I’m in the way
its to late for me
i’ve already torn myself apart
piece
by
piece
I’m surprise my child still recognizes me
I have to be the ugliest person walking on the face of this planet
imagine me please:
eyes swollen to the size of two plump plums ripe in the summertime
lips chapped and cracked like fresh ashes fallen from fresh lit cigarettes
cheeks red as the nail polish I wore for you on fingernails at the tips of fingers that have caressed your sweet skin scented in musk and sweat…
skin raw from many cold nights waiting your arrival in the dead winter watching for your car to turn the corner leading to my home…
ears deafened from listening to my soul cry for you.
The shrieks and shrills sounding much like one who have lost her salvation…her soul…her saving grace…her messiah…her master…
“OH LORD! IF YOU HAD NOT SAVED ME I DON’T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE…”
Days and nights have gone by
eves and morns are lost
no way out
no way to search
no way in
no where to go
my heart beaten to near death by my brain
my conscious reprimands that which is truly lost
on the strings of my heart you can hear a song playing
one which tells the story of a blossoming star child with her head in the clouds and her heart on fire
but she is a woman to fear
you never know your own fate if you allow her to fall in love with you
beware for her wrath is violent
I know how she feels
heart bleeding
drop
by
drop
imagine the look of amazement when she looks down and sees her breast soiled from the blood gaping from the hole in her chest
blinded still, in disbelief, still
that her lover questions the authority of her love for him
anger rising and falling
her peace of mind shattered
everywhere she walks
there marks a cut in her feet from the mirror which crashes as the knowledge that her lover desires her no more.
Imagine her fate
death
by ill-waited rejection
By: Hulasista, c. 1998