Do as i say???

[Qjai]

for those of you with children....do you teach your kids by example or do you tell them .... Do as I say...not as I do?

[nubianx2]

I do a little of both. Some situations call for me to use "do as I say" and that's usually when a situation is based on adult behavior. The majority of the time I make every attempt to simply "lead by example."

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by nubianx2+
I do a little of both. Some situations call for me to use "do as I say" and that's usually when a situation is based on adult behavior. The majority of the time I make every attempt to simply "lead by example."

Same here. When they were younger I was setting the good example....then as time went on and I had laid a good foundation then they were on the do as I say tip and now that they will be 18 in two months I think they are makign their own decisions but I have seen them do things based on the example that I made and that makes me feel good. :)

[OhSoPrecious]

I try to lead by example~!! :hearts: After all, she's still pretty young and all that might change in a few years, or so~!! :rolleyes: :)

Check back with me in 8 years. . she'll be a teenager then~!! :eek: YIKES~!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sparkles]

That is a little unrealistic to think you can teach your child do as i say crap. It will work maybe when they are younger, but once they get older they are going to start bringing it to ya about well you use to do and you use to do that.

Big UP's to you ladies, I do have help at home, but I realize a lot of you have been dong it a lone, and that can't be easy....




Originally posted by nubianx2+
I do a little of both. Some situations call for me to use "do as I say" and that's usually when a situation is based on adult behavior. The majority of the time I make every attempt to simply "lead by example."

[Qjai]

so for those of you who smoke or drink or engage in any other type of behavior such as this...what do you say when your kids (pre-teen or otherwise) ask you about it?

I asked because I had my first daughter really young (19) and I want to make sure she knows how hard it was and to also steer her clear of the same situation. She is 9 now. She says yeah mom it was hard but you did it and things are fine. We continue to talk but since in that case I didnt think to lead my example...I feel I am stuck with do as I say not as I did.

[Versatile]

I lead by example 95% of the time. The only instance that I do recall saying don't ever do this, is when I'm driving. I usually say don't do this when you start to drive. I love speed. I don't smoke and I drink in moderation. At times they ask to taste and I allow them to do so with the stipulation that it is done only with my permission and with me. (My son is the only one that wants to do this). Now, I know they know I "get my groove on" and I always stress abstinance to my kids but I also back it up with, if you feel as though you are ready and you think you can handle all the pressure with it, come talk to me and practice safely, no excuses. I also tell them at 18 they are legal and responsible for their own actions since they are no longer my minors. However, I also tell them turning 18 does not mean I stop being their parent and I will always give them advice and try to protect them. That strong foundation when they are young, and consistent reinforcement will usually help a child to learn mimick what they've seen.

[Brightness]

I'm with the little bit of both group.

I drink in moderation and my daughter's seen me smoke a cigar once although I'm not a true smoker.

I let her know that there are things that adults do because they can handle the repercussions of their actions where as children cannot.

[que90nek]

please tell me that this child that wants to "taste" alcohol...is beyond the age of 21....:confused:

[HulaSista]

my son sees me and he already hates it that i smoke. he tells me that i should stop. i talk to him about it and the agreement is that i won't do it around him.

i am big on the do as i say and as i do. i also tells him a little bit of everything... like... find you a wife that is like your momma ! :D he looks at me like :confused: , but, i figured...if i put it on him early...the need for a wife, etc... good woman... that he can say "my momma told me since i was 6 years old! :) "

i have a brother that i want my son around as much as possible. he is an EXCELLENT example of a man and i want my son to be just like him. i look up to my little brother!

so... its' more like...do as i say and as HE do! :hammer

[D2daO2da]

My child is pretty intelligent. He was evaluated when he was 6 and his IQ score placed him in the 99 percentile so he was skipped a grade. He is now 8 and I talk to him like he is a teen ager because he comprehends and processes information on that level. I constantly remind him to respect his elders and that Big people are the Boss. He is head strong and won't eat his vegetables... so leading by example won't work in that case. But majority of the time He does what I say or else no internet time, toy time, game time or reward time.
D

[mystkev]

That do as I say stuff is funny...LOL

Parents are confusing as hell, but such is life.

I would say mostly my mom and dad lead by example.