Alright MD folks....

[MndBdySoul]

What parts in Baltimore and the surrounding areas would you tell a person considering a move there NOT to live in? I'm not tryin' to live where I would feel like I'm right in the middle of The Wire everyday :)

[seductive_tee]

i'm 45 minutes from B'More, so i have no clue.

I'm up near the new redskin stadium.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

thats what up MBS. Dont really fuck around in B more but it wont be hard to tell the good from the bad. If its under $800.00 for a two bedroom then reconsider. Usually you are paying for the area.

[MndBdySoul]

thats what up MBS. Dont really fuck around in B more but it wont be hard to tell the good from the bad. If its under $800.00 for a two bedroom then reconsider. Usually you are paying for the area.


Gotcha...

Tee.. where is the new Redskin stadium?

[seductive_tee]

Gotcha...

Tee.. where is the new Redskin stadium?

Largo/Landover....near Landover Mall (which they about to tear down)

[que90nek]

laurel is good...

bowie is even better....

but ummm......it's gonna cost ya!

the bigger question is

WHERE WILL YOU WORK...

and how far away are you willing to commute to that location?

[seductive_tee]

they say Bowie is the next SE.......

Que, things have really changed here.

Now the place to be is Upper Marlboro.....they have homes selling for 600,000

They Say homes in Oxon Hill will be going for 500,000 in about 4 years......you know that be like Baltimore harbor they say

[que90nek]

hmmm

bowie must have TWO SIDES....

i was told that some developer built these new homes and a lot of affluent black folk are moving there....

but...thanks for the info.

[seductive_tee]

oh i'm sure they did......Bowie has really gotten over crowded....

Next time you come to DC, ride through DC sometime...looks like every apartment building is coming down and they are being replaced with condo's, townhomes or SF......prices started at like 275,000 and up...especially on East Capitol St.

[que90nek]

oh most def...

oops....when u said SE....i was thinkin of the OLD SE......

that was all run down.....

so much money in those condos!!!!!!!!!

[MndBdySoul]

laurel is good...

bowie is even better....

but ummm......it's gonna cost ya!

the bigger question is

WHERE WILL YOU WORK...

and how far away are you willing to commute to that location?

Yea Laurel is first on my list but it's quite expensive. More than I'm paying per month now anyway

I hear there's some good opprotunities in the area... I will work wherever I can find work. I don't anticipate it being more of a problem then if I were to search for work here in Dallas.

As far as the commute, I'm willing to commute up to an hour each way. For a while, until I really learn my way around, I will probably park my truck and commute via subway and bus.

There is a metro line that connects the MD/DC area right?

[seductive_tee]

is that an hour on METRO or by car.

And is that commute on the beltway or city.

my commute by car is 25 miles each way....in traffic it can be up to 45 minutes to an hour. no traffic 20-25

by subway 40 minutes cost @11.00 a day (job gives us metro checks)

I would suggest that you live near a subway....

[Bedroomeyes]

It really depends on where you plan to work.. If you're working near Baltimore, Baltimore County is pretty nice.. Then there's Columbia, Laurel, Severn, Hanover, that are all close to Baltimore..

If you're working in/or near DC, then you go down into PG County which is Greenbelt, Landover, Lanham, Largo, etc..

There are tons of different cities in the area.. I would suggest a visit or two to familiarize yourself with the area..

[jaila]

my cousin lives in bowie and its nice there. Stay outta baltimore. I lived on the county/ city line and it was NOT NICE. the school systems suck. Anne Arundel Co is nice in some parts but its gonna kill ya pockets. And check ur insurance rates, Glen burnie and Baltimore have NOTORIOUSLY high insurance rates.

[MndBdySoul]

my cousin lives in bowie and its nice there. Stay outta baltimore. I lived on the county/ city line and it was NOT NICE. the school systems suck. Anne Arundel Co is nice in some parts but its gonna kill ya pockets. And check ur insurance rates, Glen burnie and Baltimore have NOTORIOUSLY high insurance rates.


Thanks, J :)

[MndBdySoul]

What can ya'll tell me about the Glen Burnie area of MD?

[jaila]

whats got u considering maryland if i may ask?

lol cause i couldnt wait to leave the joint!

[MndBdySoul]

whats got u considering maryland if i may ask?

lol cause i couldnt wait to leave the joint!

I'm gon have to plead the 5th on that one.. but it aint hard to figure out :)

Usually people feel that way about their home state though. I've always wanted to leave Texas meanwhile I know people that talk about moving here. I'm like but it ain't shit here... don't do it! I can't stand Texas.

The grass is always greener on the other side....... ;)

[que90nek]

to me...glen burnie was always so far away ...........

but in actuality it is not.........................there are some good area in glen burnie...and not so good areas....

[seductive_tee]

Another thing is what are you looking to spend in housing.....that could make the difference right there.

[MndBdySoul]

Another thing is what are you looking to spend in housing.....that could make the difference right there.


Around 900, give or take $100, for a 2 or 3-bedroom.

So far Glen Burnie, Frederick, Caton and Randallstown are in my price range...

Then a little further south Hyattsville....

I didn't realize the area had so many options. I may use a locator... but they can be such a pain :beating

[seductive_tee]

900.00 for an apt........you need to look for a house if you can afford that.

Also try, Seabrook/Lanham area. My best friend lives out there. Will you have a car?

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Around 900, give or take $100, for a 2 or 3-bedroom.

So far Glen Burnie, Frederick, Caton and Randallstown are in my price range...

Then a little further south Hyattsville....

I didn't realize the area had so many options. I may use a locator... but they can be such a pain :beating


For that price range, you do have choices. I would consider the school "if you have any kids" system which could make all of the difference in the world. When are you trying to move..?? I pay little over $1,000 but its well worth it for the area and until these house prices go down...

[MndBdySoul]

900.00 for an apt........you need to look for a house if you can afford that.

Also try, Seabrook/Lanham area. My best friend lives out there. Will you have a car?

Eventually I'll look for a house.... my goal was to actually become a home owner this year, but I'm putting it off since I'm leaving Tx. I rent a house where I live now....

I have two vehicles now(one's paid for one's not). The one that's paid for..my lil Kia Sephia is a 2000 and only has 40k miles on it. I will sell it before I move. i plan to just park the one i'm taking though and use the Metro to learn my way around.

I'll look into the areas you mentioned.

Thanks for your help Tee :)

[seductive_tee]

Bring a car with you, you'll need it.

[jaila]

MBS, my mother lives in glen burnie adn i lived there for a long time. High insurance. Schools good. Daycare great. I know of some people who can help. My mom would be happy to help if u decide to locate there. Everything is close and you are in the middle of baltimore and dc. Your housing options are high. There are a few decent places that go on income too. Holla in PM and i'll give u details if u want them. Avoid the severn area for apts. Odenton is close and the houses and schools are great. I have a good friend that lives there. Glen burie is close to the beltways too.

[jaila]

Eventually I'll look for a house.... my goal was to actually become a home owner this year, but I'm putting it off since I'm leaving Tx. I rent a house where I live now....

I have two vehicles now(one's paid for one's not). The one that's paid for..my lil Kia Sephia is a 2000 and only has 40k miles on it. I will sell it before I move. i plan to just park the one i'm taking though and use the Metro to learn my way around.

I'll look into the areas you mentioned.

Thanks for your help Tee :)

girl keep an eye on that Sephia...mine just died.

[MndBdySoul]

girl keep an eye on that Sephia...mine just died.


Sorry to hear that :(

I never had any problems with mine. I have been driving it alot lately to save on gas. It has been costing 40-50 bucks to fill up the Sorrento so I have parked it until gas goes down.

BUT.. right before I stopped driving the Sorrento, the check engine light came on. A hole or something in the fuel line was causin it to misfire. Kia found away around it of course, so I had to pay 300 bucks to get it fix :blast

They are horrible about covering stuff. The only reason I went back and bought a second car from them is because of the discount they gave me.


Thanks for the info on Glen Burnie. How high is high, on the insurance? Right now I pay 136 for full coverage, 88 for liability only on the Sephia. Also.. what county is Glen Burnie in? I've got to learn all the county names. I'll PM you for some more info... thanks so much. ;)

[Pamalicious]

Is this where this man that was mentioned in another thread lives?

[MndBdySoul]

Is this where this man that was mentioned in another thread lives?


Great to have you back with us Pam ;) Did you enjoy your temporary hiatus?

To answer your question.... yes.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Great to have you back with us Pam ;) Did you enjoy your temporary hiatus?

To answer your question.... yes.

Well you can save half on rent right there.. Think luxury..

[seductive_tee]

Does he know you're coming?

[jaila]

high as in for my 98 sephia i was paying 145 versus the 80 i pay here in georgia. Glen burnie is in anne arundel county. PG County is high, thats the bowie area. Annapolis is a nice historic area. Nice to visit anyway. Most folks leave that area for glen burnie.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Does he know you're coming?


ha ha ha I hope so... Thats a a lot. To come/move way out here to move to suprise someone.. But if you are doing it that way I am sure it will be nice.

[Pamalicious]

ha ha ha I hope so... Thats a a lot. To come/move way out here to move to suprise someone.. But if you are doing it that way I am sure it will be nice.

A whole bunch of people are gonna be surprised with this move. I am wondering though, because this is bold with a capital B - exactly what do you hope to accomplish. I remember when I was doing all that damn reading last nite trying to catch up - that you had some questions about this, seems to me you've made a decision to make your presence known - exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?

This is very interesting....

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

[QUOTE=Pamalicious]A whole bunch of people are gonna be surprised with this move. I am wondering though, because this is bold with a capital B - exactly what do you hope to accomplish. I remember when I was doing all that damn reading last nite trying to catch up - that you had some questions about this, seems to me you've made a decision to make your presence known - exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?

This is very interesting.... Very....

What do you hope to accomplish: The passing of eight hours.

Exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?: see answer above.

[Pamalicious]

[QUOTE=Pamalicious]A whole bunch of people are gonna be surprised with this move. I am wondering though, because this is bold with a capital B - exactly what do you hope to accomplish. I remember when I was doing all that damn reading last nite trying to catch up - that you had some questions about this, seems to me you've made a decision to make your presence known - exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?

This is very interesting.... Very....

What do you hope to accomplish: The passing of eight hours.

Exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?: see answer above.


Aww damn Marland - I wasn't talking to you,l ol lol Trying to piggyback off of your post - sorry about that. Those questions were directed at MBS about this move.

[que90nek]

agree with pam...

i suppose your last visit with him........ya'll did a little more than just play scrabble and monopoly.

[Pamalicious]

agree with pam...

i suppose your last visit with him........ya'll did a little more than just play scrabble and monopoly.

http://www.onthehush.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=218582

[que90nek]

oh...i c....

every time i have NOT done something with a woman....

she FEELS me even MORE than if we had done it a thousand times!

something about that self-control...is a huge turn on for them.

[seductive_tee]

oh...i c....

every time i have NOT done something with a woman....

she FEELS me even MORE than if we had done it a thousand times!

something about that self-control...is a huge turn on for them.

Along with a hairy chest............lol

[MndBdySoul]

Does he know you're coming?


Yes of course....

[MndBdySoul]

A whole bunch of people are gonna be surprised with this move. I am wondering though, because this is bold with a capital B - exactly what do you hope to accomplish. I remember when I was doing all that damn reading last nite trying to catch up - that you had some questions about this, seems to me you've made a decision to make your presence known - exactly what do you think is going to happen and will you be satisfied with the outcome?

This is very interesting....


Pam.. girl you are right. It is interesting.

I'm not sure though that alot of people are going to be surprised with the move. Not everyone in my life knows it yet.. haven't told my parents but I plan on it soon since I will need them for a portion of the move(ie, keeping the kids until I get settled )

As far as what I hope to accomplish.... alot actually. I don't feel like I'm moving to be with him. He can help me in alot of ways. There are alot of things I want to do that I feel he can help with(finishing school, becoming more career focused, getting and staying in shape, and a few more things). I have no source of encouragement here. I don't have anyone to guide me, help me keep things in a realistic prospective, motivate me... I think if 7 years ago I had made the move, my life would be so different..in a good way. Throughout the course of our relationship, we've talked about me moving... Then the way the pattern worked is I would get pissed off over something, not talk to him for a month or two, and in the interim, get pregnant *sigh* Part of my destructive behavior that he has tried for years to correct.... then at times I would feel like he was part of that destructive behavior...

I don't know, maybe he is. I'm only sure of a few things right now and thats

1. The connection we have established isn't going anywhere
2. We are so drawn to one another that being closer(distance wise) is the only option
3. It will give me a chance to better myself
4. I will be RID of the BDD(baby daddy drama) that has riddled my fucking life for the past year
5. I will be content

It's a different situation... one that can easily be judged but that's not what I'm looking for. There's some wrongs... and some rights... and alot of inbetween when it comes down to our relationship, as it is today.I haven't even began to scrape the surface on our history. It's just too in depth for anyone not in our shoes to understand.

[que90nek]

i hope he aint one of those "i told u so" type negroes....:blah:

[seductive_tee]

is he married?

[seductive_tee]

Also, just know that if you do move up this way, you have quite a few MD folks to help show you around.

[que90nek]

i miss the dc crew.......

we used to kick it...every now and then.

[jaila]

Pam.. girl you are right. It is interesting.

I'm not sure though that alot of people are going to be surprised with the move. Not everyone in my life knows it yet.. haven't told my parents but I plan on it soon since I will need them for a portion of the move(ie, keeping the kids until I get settled )

As far as what I hope to accomplish.... alot actually. I don't feel like I'm moving to be with him. He can help me in alot of ways. There are alot of things I want to do that I feel he can help with(finishing school, becoming more career focused, getting and staying in shape, and a few more things). I have no source of encouragement here. I don't have anyone to guide me, help me keep things in a realistic prospective, motivate me... I think if 7 years ago I had made the move, my life would be so different..in a good way. Throughout the course of our relationship, we've talked about me moving... Then the way the pattern worked is I would get pissed off over something, not talk to him for a month or two, and in the interim, get pregnant *sigh* Part of my destructive behavior that he has tried for years to correct.... then at times I would feel like he was part of that destructive behavior...

I don't know, maybe he is. I'm only sure of a few things right now and thats

1. The connection we have established isn't going anywhere
2. We are so drawn to one another that being closer(distance wise) is the only option
3. It will give me a chance to better myself
4. I will be RID of the BDD(baby daddy drama) that has riddled my fucking life for the past year
5. I will be content

It's a different situation... one that can easily be judged but that's not what I'm looking for. There's some wrongs... and some rights... and alot of inbetween when it comes down to our relationship, as it is today.I haven't even began to scrape the surface on our history. It's just too in depth for anyone not in our shoes to understand.

wow this is what i was thinking when i left MD and im on my 4th year gone and happy. It was HARD at first, but i wouldnt trade my journey for the world.

[que90nek]

wow this is what i was thinking when i left MD and im on my 4th year gone and happy. It was HARD at first, but i wouldnt trade my journey for the world.
so....

u moved because of a man?


did u have a man meeting you on the other side of your journey?

if so, how did that turn out?

[MndBdySoul]

is he married?

Yes....

*ducks*

[MndBdySoul]

i hope he aint one of those "i told u so" type negroes....:blah:

explain the type.....

[seductive_tee]

is he married?

Yes....

*ducks*

well that explains why you need our own place.......and if you coming for him in a round about way...PLEASE have your own car.....you will need it......

what areas is he suggesting?

[MndBdySoul]

well that explains why you need our own place.......and if you coming for him in a round about way...PLEASE have your own car.....you will need it......

what areas is he suggesting?

Well i need my own place for more than just that reason. I have issues with the smothering factor. It would be difficult for me to live with anyone..no matter how much I adore them.

For cost effective reasons he suggests b-more... he said there's alot of options for going back to school there too.

Frederick he said would be a good option..something about it being close to 270? I guess that's one of the major DC/MD connectors?

I'll definately have my own car... lol

[que90nek]

the negro that can see the future -- type....

because they've BEEN there...DONE that.....

like a FATHER type ...that will preach to their child NOT to do this....NOT to do that...to DO this...to do THAT.....

but the bottom line is that the decision rests with the child....oops...i mean the other person...to choose their own path...........

and whether the decision be good or bad....it's THEIR life......and they have to live it.


you mentioned before that his wife was on board with you and his interactions....

is she cool with you moving next door?

[que90nek]

..and since u've mentioned school.

have you checked in to the various schools in that area? the admission requirements...where they are located...etc?

bowie state is a decent school......

univ of md is GOOD too...in college park....

but there are A LOT of schools....in dc.....and that area.....

baltimore.....hmmmm i wouldnt say that there are more schools there.

[Pamalicious]

Pam.. girl you are right. It is interesting.

I'm not sure though that alot of people are going to be surprised with the move. Not everyone in my life knows it yet.. haven't told my parents but I plan on it soon since I will need them for a portion of the move(ie, keeping the kids until I get settled )

As far as what I hope to accomplish.... alot actually. I don't feel like I'm moving to be with him. He can help me in alot of ways. There are alot of things I want to do that I feel he can help with(finishing school, becoming more career focused, getting and staying in shape, and a few more things). I have no source of encouragement here. I don't have anyone to guide me, help me keep things in a realistic prospective, motivate me... I think if 7 years ago I had made the move, my life would be so different..in a good way. Throughout the course of our relationship, we've talked about me moving... Then the way the pattern worked is I would get pissed off over something, not talk to him for a month or two, and in the interim, get pregnant *sigh* Part of my destructive behavior that he has tried for years to correct.... then at times I would feel like he was part of that destructive behavior...

I don't know, maybe he is. I'm only sure of a few things right now and thats

1. The connection we have established isn't going anywhere
2. We are so drawn to one another that being closer(distance wise) is the only option
3. It will give me a chance to better myself
4. I will be RID of the BDD(baby daddy drama) that has riddled my fucking life for the past year
5. I will be content

It's a different situation... one that can easily be judged but that's not what I'm looking for. There's some wrongs... and some rights... and alot of inbetween when it comes down to our relationship, as it is today.I haven't even began to scrape the surface on our history. It's just too in depth for anyone not in our shoes to understand.


I don't have anymore comments......good luck with this one.

[seductive_tee]

B'More, Frederick, 270.....i take it he lives some where between, Silver Spring, Langley Park, Rockville or Bethesda. The major connector for DC/MD/VA is 495.....270 is off 495 in Montgomery County.

As Que said, not many colleges in the Bmore area.

And did i read right that wife is on board with ya'lls relationship.

[MndBdySoul]

the negro that can see the future -- type....

because they've BEEN there...DONE that.....

like a FATHER type ...that will preach to their child NOT to do this....NOT to do that...to DO this...to do THAT.....

but the bottom line is that the decision rests with the child....oops...i mean the other person...to choose their own path...........

and whether the decision be good or bad....it's THEIR life......and they have to live it.


you mentioned before that his wife was on board with you and his interactions....

is she cool with you moving next door?

She was cool with what she knew the interactions were before this trip....

I'm not sure she even knew he was with me that weekend.... I can't really say I even care at this point. There relationship is what it is.. and ours is what it is. Seperate from one another and neither her or I pose a threat to one another.

[MndBdySoul]

B'More, Frederick, 270.....i take it he lives some where between, Silver Spring, Langley Park, Rockville or Bethesda. The major connector for DC/MD/VA is 495.....270 is off 495 in Montgomery County.

As Que said, not many colleges in the Bmore area.

And did i read right that wife is on board with ya'lls relationship.


OK Tee you got me over here scribblin notes.. lol

He lives in the heart of DC.. Columbia Heights..works in Silver Spring.

[seductive_tee]

Oh my goodness..................

i hope she not a HUSH member, or relative of one.....can ask that question right now. How much do they know of the HUSH if any?

[seductive_tee]

OK Tee you got me over here scribblin notes.. lol

He lives in the heart of DC.. Columbia Heights..works in Silver Spring.

He wants you close to where he works.......i knew i was close.

Anyone who knows the area would not reccomend andything near 270.....traffic there is ridiculous.

He didn't even suggest anything near a subway.

Columbia Heights is NW if i'm not correct, not far from Silver Spring, which by the way are both near subways.

[MndBdySoul]

Oh my goodness..................

i hope she not a HUSH member, or relative of one.....can ask that question right now. How much do they know of the HUSH if any?


he knows NOTHING about the hush.. and I intend on keeping it that way

[MndBdySoul]

..and since u've mentioned school.

have you checked in to the various schools in that area? the admission requirements...where they are located...etc?



not yet..working on one thing at a time and where I'll live is at the top of the list

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

She was cool with what she knew the interactions were before this trip....

I'm not sure she even knew he was with me that weekend.... I can't really say I even care at this point. There relationship is what it is.. and ours is what it is. Seperate from one another and neither her or I pose a threat to one another.


Does he make good money and is he very generous..?? I mean around $75,000 plus, or is this all love..??

[MndBdySoul]

Does he make good money and is he very generous..?? I mean around $75,000 plus, or is this all love..??


The amount of money he makes has nothing to do with how I feel..

...i'm sure that's a different story for his wife though.

[Pamalicious]

Does he make good money and is he very generous..?? I mean around $75,000 plus, or is this all love..??

1) $75K is NO money when you trying to support in whatever method two households

2) Love should've brought your ass home last nite, lol lol

If this feeling is so strong and this is a romance novel waiting to happen, why won't he just leave her and do the damn thing with you. You're right seven years is a LONNNNG time to be running this game - move you closer then what?

Opps I said I wasn't going to comment again, but it behooves me to ask.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Well $75,000 is alot of money when you are staying in a $500.00 a month apartment in B-more..

[MndBdySoul]

Where the hell did how much money he makes come into play?

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

The amount of money he makes has nothing to do with how I feel..

...i'm sure that's a different story for his wife though.


I feel ya Mbs... I never been there personally but I hear stories all the time, so in away I can relate. Or maybe not. But its plenty of wood in D.C. to put in the fire place if that nigga aint acting right so good luck.

[MndBdySoul]

1) $75K is NO money when you trying to support in whatever method two households

2) Love should've brought your ass home last nite, lol lol

If this feeling is so strong and this is a romance novel waiting to happen, why won't he just leave her and do the damn thing with you. You're right seven years is a LONNNNG time to be running this game - move you closer then what?

Opps I said I wasn't going to comment again, but it behooves me to ask.

Like I said... it's too in depth to explain but I will say...

I would not want to be his wife... I'm content with my position in his life.It has worked for this long, and it will continue to work.

I would imagine, if I shifted gears and starting putting pressure under him..saying I wanted this, or that.. it would crumble. I guess I'm not the typical mistress.. since I don't want him to leave his wife, and all that jazz. If they do split, it won't be because of me.

[MndBdySoul]

I feel ya Mbs... I never been there personally but I hear stories all the time, so in away I can relate. Or maybe not. But its plenty of wood in D.C. to put in the fire place if that nigga aint acting right so good luck.


LOL @ wood in the fireplace....

thanks for the luck....

I know ya'll are like..damn she sure gon' need it

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Like I said... it's too in depth to explain but I will say...

I would not want to be his wife... I'm content with my position in his life.It has worked for this long, and it will continue to work.

I would imagine, if I shifted gears and starting putting pressure under him..saying I wanted this, or that.. it would crumble. I guess I'm not the typical mistress.. since I don't want him to leave his wife, and all that jazz. If they do split, it won't be because of me.


Damn.. You are really my type..

[seductive_tee]

I say this...if you really are considering the move.....listen and gain friend who are here and want nothing from you. Relocating for a married man is going to be nothing but pain on some levels.

Being closer, you'll expect more, you'll get bored and expect him to come take you out, holidays, etc.......

Ask him why he didn't mention Bowie, Largo, Landover, Mitchellville, District Heights, Oxon Hill, SW DC, or even Arlington, Alexandria......

Me personally would not relocate for a man period unless we're married.

[MndBdySoul]

I say this...if you really are considering the move.....listen and gain friend who are here and want nothing from you. Relocating for a married man is going to be nothing but pain on some levels.

Being closer, you'll expect more, you'll get bored and expect him to come take you out, holidays, etc.......

Ask him why he didn't mention Bowie, Largo, Landover, Mitchellville, District Heights, Oxon Hill, SW DC, or even Arlington, Alexandria......

Me personally would not relocate for a man period unless we're married.


I'm relocating MORE for just him.. but he is a large contributing factor.

We've talked about expectations.. mine of him, and his of me. I don't expect him to be holding my hand every step of the way. If I couldn't move there without being self-sufficient, I wouldnt do it at all. He told me, being totally honest we would see each other a max of 3-4 times a month. Sometimes more...sometimes less. We would still have a yearly trip together like we always have...

Ya'll have been very helpful with the info I've given. Hopefully I can make it to Hushnic and meet you. You are right, I will need friends who are there. There's a sista from my mommy group that lives in Silver Spring.... she's been helpful also.

I'll ask him about those areas but I think VA is a little more expensive, no?

[HulaSista]

I know ya'll are like..damn she sure gon' need it

naw baby, *i'm* like: ain't a nigga in the world who got it like that lol

i know i turned down a good chance to get my ass up out the house and on the payroll of a married man. but i am not that brave.

right now some other chick is getting his goods and getting her mortgage paid. some days when i see them, i think DAMN... what did i loose? i coulda really played my roll and got pregnant ONE GOOD TIME and sealed him up for good cause his greatest desire is to have kids that current wifey won't have. but the reminder comes: if that man really wanted to honor you, he woulda divorced his wife and set up camp properly. *shruggs* MAN, back when i was a teen, i never thought i'd be here today having had gone through that.

[MndBdySoul]

payroll?

I'm still trying to figure out how and why money has been brought up in this.

It has never been a factor for us... he's got it and I'm not entitled to a red cent of it.. lol

[Pamalicious]

payroll?

I'm still trying to figure out how and why money has been brought up in this.

It has never been a factor for us... he's got it and I'm not entitled to a red cent of it.. lol

I think because it would at least give us something to latch onto WHY you would uproot your kids and then move and then resign yourself to three or four times a month and a yearly trip as oppposed to saying I'm better than that friendship or not and being alone is better than jumping out the frying pan into the fire. If you had 'game' so to speak that matched even a third of the one he's been running on you - then we could kinda sorta in societies warped way - applaud the dollar move - but it just seems like you've decided (in relation to this) that some of this man is better than none of this man.

However, man sharing is becoming a 'choice' for alot of sistas and so keep us informed on how this is gonna work out. Cause if you think you're going to be satisfied with that above scenario especially when you are close enough to KNOW what he's doing when he's not with you as opposed to being far enough away to KNOW but not BUILD up any feelings..you have certainly talked yourself into it and noone can stop yah, lol

Keep us informed on this one will yah?

[que90nek]

i had a feeling you wouldnt be able to be silent.....

;)

Best of luck to you, mbs...

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

payroll?

I'm still trying to figure out how and why money has been brought up in this.

It has never been a factor for us... he's got it and I'm not entitled to a red cent of it.. lol


Yea, what Pam said... Just keep your options open. I would hate for you to come all this way to get you heart broke, ya know. You can do that locally.

[MndBdySoul]

Keep us informed on this one will yah?


I will........

[MndBdySoul]

Best of luck to you, mbs...


Thanks Que

[HulaSista]

Yea, what Pam said... Just keep your options open. I would hate for you to come all this way to get you heart broke, ya know. You can do that locally.


can i go one better? get the 10 year iud plan... seal it up and just don't get pregnant! DAMN... and you dont like abortions or adoption options? GIRL... hmmph... if i'mma fuck, that wouldn't be the daddy that i choose to risk it with...

[MndBdySoul]

I think because it would at least give us something to latch onto WHY you would uproot your kids and then move and then resign yourself to three or four times a month and a yearly trip as oppposed to saying I'm better than that friendship or not and being alone is better than jumping out the frying pan into the fire. If you had 'game' so to speak that matched even a third of the one he's been running on you - then we could kinda sorta in societies warped way - applaud the dollar move - but it just seems like you've decided (in relation to this) that some of this man is better than none of this man.

However, man sharing is becoming a 'choice' for alot of sistas and so keep us informed on how this is gonna work out. Cause if you think you're going to be satisfied with that above scenario especially when you are close enough to KNOW what he's doing when he's not with you as opposed to being far enough away to KNOW but not BUILD up any feelings..you have certainly talked yourself into it and noone can stop yah, lol

Keep us informed on this one will yah?

I'm not resigning myself... 3 -4 times a month is alot more than 3-4 times a year. That's enough for me. I've mentioned before I'm not the type of woman that has to be up underneath someone ALL the time. I need space of my own. Independence of my own. FREEDOM. Gimme 50 feet.... shit. I hate, hate, hate needy folks.

Game... I'm too hold for games and Lord knows he is. If he's running game on me he sure has invested ALOT in doing so.

But anyway.... I will keep ya'll informed.

[MndBdySoul]

can i go one better? get the 10 year iud plan... seal it up and just don't get pregnant! DAMN... and you dont like abortions or adoption options? GIRL... hmmph... if i'mma fuck, that wouldn't be the daddy that i choose to risk it with...


Girl..... you ain't said nothin but a WORD.

My baby factory is closed.. shut down and the doors LOCKED! lol

Who knows.. our relationship still may remain a non-sexual one....

but probably not. Who the fuck am I kidding.

[jaila]

sometimes the reason we think we are moving is NOT the true intention of the move when it applies to our life and the direction it is to take. I am a perfect example of that.

[HulaSista]

Girl..... you ain't said nothin but a WORD.

My baby factory is closed.. shut down and the doors LOCKED! lol

Who knows.. our relationship still may remain a non-sexual one....

but probably not. Who the fuck am I kidding.


where you hidin the key?? lol is it buried or just somewhere where you forgot where you hid it? send it to a hush sista so you can't get it back! lol... i know its not a funny situation; i couldn't resist the joke.

i, too, am curious how you work things out. i was thinking, after you said it, 'damn, this go make it harder for her to come to hushnic! why can't she just wait til after august!

[MndBdySoul]

where you hidin the key?? lol is it buried or just somewhere where you forgot where you hid it? send it to a hush sista so you can't get it back! lol... i know its not a funny situation; i couldn't resist the joke.

i, too, am curious how you work things out. i was thinking, after you said it, 'damn, this go make it harder for her to come to hushnic! why can't she just wait til after august!


LOL....

I'm not planning on moving until Feb. 06....

I'm hoping airfares will go down so I can still make it to HN without worrying about..damn that could have been money torwards my move. It will probably be a last minute thing.. I see air deals..the kind where you buy the ticket like a week in advance... as low as 189 and 169 to SF and Sac....I've got my fingers crossed. I'm about 4K advantage miles away from a free ticket. After next months Vegas trip, I'll have like 900 to go. Maybe I can rack up enough between then and HN at the grocery store or something.....

[lovely]

all the changes you trying to do. and things you are trying to accomplish...i would hope you could do for yourself and your children.

by yourself and with your babies.

not relying on the "strength" of a married man.

[MndBdySoul]

all the changes you trying to do. and things you are trying to accomplish...i would hope you could do for yourself and your children.

by yourself and with your babies.

not relying on the "strength" of a married man.


It sounds like it should be huh?

[seductive_tee]

How old is he and you?

What would he say to you finding a male friend and dating him?

You're also coming from Texas, are you prepared for the weather here...some are not.....schools closing for a possible storm, it's too hot, it's too cold.....ready for the speeding camera tickets, for the crowded subways during rush hour, NO 24 hour Walmarts, a handful of SUPER walmarts, the crazy folks.....i'm sure my other MD folks can add a few things.

I say move, and find you some on the side MD man.

Now, lets discuss your avatar...i thought i would never see another red rose......you like roses?

[MndBdySoul]

How old is he and you?

What would he say to you finding a male friend and dating him?

You're also coming from Texas, are you prepared for the weather here...some are not.....schools closing for a possible storm, it's too hot, it's too cold.....ready for the speeding camera tickets, for the crowded subways during rush hour, NO 24 hour Walmarts, a handful of SUPER walmarts, the crazy folks.....i'm sure my other MD folks can add a few things.

I say move, and find you some on the side MD man.

Now, lets discuss your avatar...i thought i would never see another red rose......you like roses?

Tee... I'm 25(come July) and he just celebrated his 50th.

Finding a male friend... my first instinct is that he would welcome the idea, because he thinks that would take off some of the pressure when I get bored, or want to go out, etc. BUT.... even from afar, he has been jealous at times, so being closer, I'm not sure.

I can deal with weather. We have speeding camera tickets here. No 24-hour wal-marts? :eek: As long as there's 24-hour Walgreen's or CVS's I'm cool :cool: Crazy folks... they are everywhere right?

I love roses. I'm thinking about changing this one to a yellow one though. I saw a blue one that was unique.

[Brightness]

I think MBS has said she's around 25 yrs. old, has three kids and prefers older men (latest baby daddy being 14 yrs. her senior--39). So, I would say it stands to reason he's also an older man.

Now if she's talking a 7 yr history with this man. . that would have made her 18 (?) at the time of their meeting. . .and if he was older. . .that translates to her nose being wide open in most cases or him really touching her emotions back then and making an impact on her psyche.

[seductive_tee]

Girl where your father, hell brothers/uncles.......my mom would have my head and his if i dated someone twice my age. I'm having a hard time with telling her the guy i talking with is 12 years old......

50...........you got you a suga daddy.......no wonder wifey don't mind...she too old to probably go anywhere.....he got kids?

Blue rose...girl where...Blue is my favorite color, roses are my favorite flowers, dolphins are my favorite sea animal, and horses are my favorite land animal.

[Pamalicious]

Girl where your father, hell brothers/uncles.......my mom would have my head and his if i dated someone twice my age. I'm having a hard time with telling her the guy i talking with is 12 years old......

50...........you got you a suga daddy.......no wonder wifey don't mind...she too old to probably go anywhere.....he got kids?



You got that right, I don't want no 50 year old man and I'm almost 40, lol lol He gets mad dap for the mind game And maybe there is an absence of the above listed people so that's what she's looking for, which is cool but I'd be looking for his ass on the phone, lol lol

I am understanding more some of this and thus I got a raging headache on this one and so I'll go see if Sinnah gonna reveal themselves, lol lol

[seductive_tee]

Bottom line...............i could not date someone old enough to be my daddy.

and my son, i pray he doesn't date someone my age (and i know about it)
my daughter......something tells me she'll need someone to keep up with her. And to try to introduce someone to me and her father and he twice her age..............please...i'd probably pop her on the spot.

Does he look 50, act 50

[Pamalicious]

Bottom line...............i could not date someone old enough to be my daddy.

and my son, i pray he doesn't date someone my age (and i know about it)
my daughter......something tells me she'll need someone to keep up with her. And to try to introduce someone to me and her father and he twice her age..............please...i'd probably pop her on the spot.

Does he look 50, act 50

and how does he feel about little bitty children? Personally there are some holes in this story and though you don't owe us any information - and your demeanor suggest you told us from the get go cause you knew someone was going to balk and you want to sit back and hear it - I can tell by your 'pat' answers and the lol, which is cool - But I know you see this train wreck coming and if you dont' have anyone that has said, let's run this up the flagpole and see if it flies - then your friends are doing you a disservice. Cause mine would kick my ass!

[MndBdySoul]

Now if she's talking a 7 yr history with this man. . that would have made her 18 (?) at the time of their meeting. . .and if he was older. . .that translates to her nose being wide open in most cases or him really touching her emotions back then and making an impact on her psyche.



Yes.. 18 at the time we met. He did make an impact on my psyche... a lasting one.

[MndBdySoul]

Girl where your father, hell brothers/uncles.......my mom would have my head and his if i dated someone twice my age. I'm having a hard time with telling her the guy i talking with is 12 years old......

50...........you got you a suga daddy.......no wonder wifey don't mind...she too old to probably go anywhere.....he got kids?

Blue rose...girl where...Blue is my favorite color, roses are my favorite flowers, dolphins are my favorite sea animal, and horses are my favorite land animal.


Once I turned 18, my mother made it a point not to involve herself in my personal relationships. She's always been there to state her opinion and leave the rest up to me. I probably get my attraction for older men from her.

They have actually met(he and my mom) it was funny to me. He was squirming in his chair.

He's not a suga daddy to me. He does have children. One that's grown from a prior relationship and a middle schooler.

I found the blue rose on avatarity.com....

[MndBdySoul]

You got that right, I don't want no 50 year old man and I'm almost 40, lol lol He gets mad dap for the mind game And maybe there is an absence of the above listed people so that's what she's looking for, which is cool but I'd be looking for his ass on the phone, lol lol

I am understanding more some of this and thus I got a raging headache on this one and so I'll go see if Sinnah gonna reveal themselves, lol lol


There is no absence of anyone in my life. My parents have been together 27 years this year. My dad has always been there for me. I have brothers(2), but we are half siblings. I'm the only child between mommy and daddy. One lives in San Francisco, the other in Philly. One is gay, the other thinks he's a player. I haven't talked to the gay one in 6 years now... after he called himself swinging on my mother at my grandmother's funeral. My other brother, we are tight.

[MndBdySoul]

Bottom line...............i could not date someone old enough to be my daddy.

and my son, i pray he doesn't date someone my age (and i know about it)
my daughter......something tells me she'll need someone to keep up with her. And to try to introduce someone to me and her father and he twice her age..............please...i'd probably pop her on the spot.

Does he look 50, act 50


Look 50? No... I posted one of our vegas pics .. u must have missed that thread? And HELL NO I ain't postin' again. Act 50... not sure what you mean by that?

[MndBdySoul]

and how does he feel about little bitty children? Personally there are some holes in this story and though you don't owe us any information - and your demeanor suggest you told us from the get go cause you knew someone was going to balk and you want to sit back and hear it - I can tell by your 'pat' answers and the lol, which is cool - But I know you see this train wreck coming and if you dont' have anyone that has said, let's run this up the flagpole and see if it flies - then your friends are doing you a disservice. Cause mine would kick my ass!


Pam.. you are funny. lol

I said there were holes.. no secret there. I haven't scraped the surface into our history. And I won't...

He doesn't want any little bitty chirren of his own of course, but he has no problem with mine. They don't know him, because I don't take ANYONE around my kids. I anticipate dealing with some adjustment issues there.

My mother is a little bent over him now. She googled him and found an article written about some of his community work, and of course at the bottom it said something like He lives in DC with his wife and child. This was last year. So she has voiced her opinions about me having a relationship with him, but what can she do? Ground me? :beating

[seductive_tee]

i don't know what more to say......mom has met your lover, who is 50, married, living with wife and in another state.......

all i can say is good luck....hit me up when you move to the area......maybe we hang out or something.......

[seductive_tee]

oh can u PM me the picture

[MndBdySoul]

i don't know what more to say......mom has met your lover, who is 50, married, living with wife and in another state.......

all i can say is good luck....hit me up when you move to the area......maybe we hang out or something.......


She met him earlier on... she can't stand him now.

But yea.. I will definately be in contact :)

[Brightness]

Mmmm, hmmm, okay. I knew if I just sat back and watched the writing on the wall that things would become a little clearer.

This is quite an interesting story. . .please don't get upset and leave the Hush before it plays out.

Oh yeah, I missed the picture, too, can you put it up again pretty please!

[MndBdySoul]

Mmmm, hmmm, okay. I knew if I just sat back and watched the writing on the wall that things would become a little clearer.

This is quite an interesting story. . .please don't get upset and leave the Hush before it plays out.

Oh yeah, I missed the picture, too, can you put it up again pretty please!



They aren't nearly as clear as they need to be for someone to even try to understand..... but I'm not going anywhere(hush-wise) .. and if I make it to Hushnic I'll bring pics :)

It was dumb of me to post it when I did but I didn't leave it up long. It would be my luck for him to be recognized by someone... lol

[Brightness]

I just meant understand this post and some of your others. . .not the sum total of your relationship with this man.

But ummm, anyway, may I ask how did you meet this man?

[MndBdySoul]

But ummm, anyway, may I ask how did you meet this man?



Online......

[Brightness]

Oh, I see.

You mentioned him having a child from another relationship. Was this one also extramarital? Does he have a predilection (preference) for young women?

[MndBdySoul]

Oh, I see.

You mentioned him having a child from another relationship. Was this one also extramarital? Does he have a predilection (preference) for young women?



No.. his first child is from way back in the day. College days before he got married.

And no... he doesn't.

[MndBdySoul]

An interesting thread to choose as your FIRST one on the Hush.... :rolleyes:

..... here we go

[seductive_tee]

who's jademistress........something tells me here comes drama.

[MndBdySoul]

who's jademistress........something tells me here comes drama.

Someone who just joined the hush and came straight to this thread without batting an eye... whose profile happens to say "She" lives in B-more

And I get the same hunch... at least I expected it this time around though.

[Brightness]

My, oh my. . .

[MndBdySoul]

For real, if this person is about to start some shit... hurry up I'm leaving work early today.

[que90nek]

and how does he feel about little bitty children? Personally there are some holes in this story and though you don't owe us any information - and your demeanor suggest you told us from the get go cause you knew someone was going to balk and you want to sit back and hear it - I can tell by your 'pat' answers and the lol, which is cool - But I know you see this train wreck coming and if you dont' have anyone that has said, let's run this up the flagpole and see if it flies - then your friends are doing you a disservice. Cause mine would kick my ass!
i agree with this statement.

it's clear that this guy has your nose wide open.

it was understood....when you were 18..........but i suppose like brite said...he IMPACTED your psyche...and now you feel like your next success in life will come from leaning on this man further.....and had you leaned on him further when he was "schoolin" u at 18...you would be better off today. *sigh*

[Brightness]

Interesting assessment. . .

[MndBdySoul]

Are ya'll done assessing yet?

Tee, Jaila,BedroomEyes, Marland, .........

*cough* and Que......

Thanks for the info you guys were able to provide on the area.






MBS......................... OUT!

[Pamalicious]

Interesting assessment. . .

That assessment must have hit a nerve.

[Brightness]

C'mon girl, you know the routine around here, you've even participated in it yourself. Don't act brand new.

[MndBdySoul]

That assessment must have hit a nerve.


Not hardly...just getting back to the original topic of the thread, and thanking those that helped for their assistance :D

[seductive_tee]

Are ya'll done assessing yet?

Tee, Jaila,BedroomEyes, Marland, .........

*cough* and Que......

Thanks for the info you guys were able to provide on the area.






MBS......................... OUT!

Oh i wasn't assessing you, just asking questions. See i'm the one who doesn't realy read word for word, so i have to ask. Plus i'm not knocking the older guy...that maybe what you like. Honestly, my thing is moving, he's married, wife knows.......and this man ain't even considering leaving wifey......Adimu could not cause me to do such a thing........cheat maybe, but move and relocate.....NOT!~

You have family here.

[Brightness]

You still assessing. . .just cause you ain't assessing what other folks is assessing. . .it's all still assessing, nonetheless.

Anything OTHER than information about moving is in fact assessing her situation, etc.

[que90nek]

nothing wrong with assessing.....

lol

no judgement being passed here....

just tryna learn more about what NOT to do.....














or...

to do. :upto:

[Brightness]

Agreed. . .plenty of Hushfolk have carried on with married folks. . .that's old hat here and/or in the world in general.

[seductive_tee]

You still assessing. . .just cause you ain't assessing what other folks is assessing. . .it's all still assessing, nonetheless.

Anything OTHER than information about moving is in fact assessing her situation, etc.


yeah u right.......i just think she should get a lil more than just some dyck for her relocating......hell rent paid, car note, something........

[seductive_tee]

Agreed. . .plenty of Hushfolk have carried on with married folks. . .that's old hat here and/or in the world in general.

and someone older......but relocating, especially with kids.............

[Pamalicious]

yeah u right.......i just think she should get a lil more than just some dyck for her relocating......hell rent paid, car note, something........

It hasn't been established she's even going to get that, lol It seems as if they have not gone 'all the way' (Lord I ain't used that term in years, lol).

[HulaSista]

yeah u right.......i just think she should get a lil more than just some dyck for her relocating......hell rent paid, car note, something........


tee, you starting to sound like chey now!

**********************************************

well since i can't lie, i'll be honest with ya MBS, you got me curious and nosey as all get out. I want to know wth this man done did to ya! start from the beginning and come to the present. i want details details details ... trips taken, if he had to take a paternity test for one of yo kids... all dat... you can post it on the board or... tell us at hushnic... :D

its none of my business, and i know you said you are not going to tell us, but, i'd be lying if i said 'i dont care to know'. ;)

[HulaSista]

It hasn't been established she's even going to get that, lol It seems as if they have not gone 'all the way' (Lord I ain't used that term in years, lol).


you just aged yourself lol

[misha]

I just cannot see uprooting children, moving away from family, I mean damn, 3 to 4 times a month? Who gonna watch the kids those 3 to 4 times?

[Pamalicious]

you just aged yourself lol

I know right, lol lol Next I'll be saying "Hey do ya'll hunch each other?" ROTFL

Oh and Hula- she's spoken about him several times and their relationship. It's very cerebral, lots of talking and nuturing and lending a listening ear. I think it's a Saviour Complex if you ask me.

[Brightness]

yeah u right.......i just think she should get a lil more than just some dyck for her relocating......hell rent paid, car note, something........

That's all superficial stuff and the dick is gonna be part-time at best. . . she DID mention going to school, getting a job, etc. . .that's a positive step for her future and that of her kids.







. . .I'm just talking 'bout you now. . .not assessing you, MBS

[HulaSista]

I know right, lol lol Next I'll be saying "Hey do ya'll hunch each other?" ROTFL

Oh and Hula- she's spoken about him several times and their relationship. It's very cerebral, lots of talking and nuturing and lending a listening ear. I think it's a Saviour Complex if you ask me.


MBS you are officially on my 'person's posts to re-read' list. i swear i missed it all! i was sitting here thinking 'how ya'll remember all this stuff?' lol :beating

[Pamalicious]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]That's all superficial stuff and the dick is gonna be part-time at best. . . she DID mention going to school, getting a job, etc. . .that's a positive step for her future and that of her kids.







. . .I'm just talking 'bout you now. . .not assessing you, MBS

[FONT]

Come on Bright, lol lol They dont' have that where she is from? I understand sometimes I build all kinds of extra rooms - to prolong the fact that I'm really just trying to get to one - makes life interesting, lol lol lol

Like if I wanna sleep with someone - I will sit around and build my case to appease myself because I know it's a move that may bite me in the ass - so I'll get pumped and amped and walk the walk and talk the talk and soon I almost forget the reason I started this self induced smoke screen in the first place, lol lol

[seductive_tee]

It hasn't been established she's even going to get that, lol It seems as if they have not gone 'all the way' (Lord I ain't used that term in years, lol).

You mean to tell me she has not "gone all the way" with him yet...MBS, please tell me you have...please tell me that man has made you say things in other languages. Cause if u sit here and say ya'll haven't and you even considering moving, girl you is CRAZY........................AIN'T NO MF WAY.....he better had best laid some serious and i mean serious dyck and tongue on me..............

you just pulling the HUSH chain......ain't ya...................

[seductive_tee]

tee, you starting to sound like chey now!

**********************************************

if he had to take a paternity test for one of yo kids... all dat... you can post it on the board or... tell us at hushnic... :D

. ;)

i thought they haven't gone all the way.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

You mean to tell me she has not "gone all the way" with him yet...MBS, please tell me you have...please tell me that man has made you say things in other languages. Cause if u sit here and say ya'll haven't and you even considering moving, girl you is CRAZY........................AIN'T NO MF WAY.....he better had best laid some serious and i mean serious dyck and tongue on me..............

you just pulling the HUSH chain......ain't ya...................



And please tell me you didnt..

[seductive_tee]

And please tell me you didnt..

Didn't what......or you hope she didn't have sex?

[Pamalicious]

You mean to tell me she has not "gone all the way" with him yet...MBS, please tell me you have...please tell me that man has made you say things in other languages. Cause if u sit here and say ya'll haven't and you even considering moving, girl you is CRAZY........................AIN'T NO MF WAY.....he better had best laid some serious and i mean serious dyck and tongue on me..............

you just pulling the HUSH chain......ain't ya...................

but if your 'outlet' has been your body - his MIND FUCK is just what is missing and honey from the likes of it - HE BRINGING IT PORNO STYLE, lol lol

[Pamalicious]

MBS you are officially on my 'person's posts to re-read' list. i swear i missed it all! i was sitting here thinking 'how ya'll remember all this stuff?' lol :beating

Here Hula:

http://www.onthehush.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14553

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Didn't what......or you hope she didn't have sex?


Right.. I can see if she was moving here for "like she stated" school, support, & to get away from BDD. But if she is comming for love and sex plus that man is 50 & married, I dont think that is a good combo. His life is already basically written in stone, but she has hers is in front of her.

[que90nek]

and it is that STONE that is about her neck....

it is that stone that will somehow cause her to be able to soar to new heights....


OR



sink......................to new depths.

[MARLAND_SKILLZ]

Here Hula:

http://www.onthehush.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14553


And Q from what I just read, you are right... That shit is deep..

[que90nek]

it's an odd situation...

one where she feels like he is the BEST thing since sliced bread.....

one where she feels like without him...she just will continue to be NOT HER BEST

...

nothing we can say ....will change that thought process.....

he's had her mind...and heart for 7 plus years.....

we've had NOTHING.....for just a few months.

[seductive_tee]

i agree with Que........

[Brightness]

Here Hula:

http://www.onthehush.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14553

Thanks for the linkage.

LOL @ Que saying "did anybody else read this" back in January. . .

[que90nek]

i appreciate that....

it's easy for us to look at the situation and quickly see...

A train

A track

Another Train...

and the direction both trains are going in.

But that doesnt mean that because WE CAN SEE IT....that the train is going to jump to a track of our choosing.......the conductor of the train has to heed all the warnings and read the signs and choose the proper track for HER and for her children.

just think of how you are when somebody tried to tell you years ago what NOT to do with regard to a relationship........you didnt listen....you learned on your own.......and you survived and are a stronger person for it.

[Pamalicious]

i appreciate that....

it's easy for us to look at the situation and quickly see...

A train

A track

Another Train...

and the direction both trains are going in.

But that doesnt mean that because WE CAN SEE IT....that the train is going to jump to a track of our choosing.......the conductor of the train has to heed all the warnings and read the signs and choose the proper track for HER and for her children.

just think of how you are when somebody tried to tell you years ago what NOT to do with regard to a relationship........you didnt listen....you learned on your own.......and you survived and are a stronger person for it.

In theory this is all good and dandy but at what point do we check the backlog and see all the WRECKAGE from previous trips down said track by some damn good conductors and be like 'hmmm - though this might be the shortest distance between two points' I think I'll choose another route.

[Brightness]

What I'm getting from this situation:

She feels that she's drawn some sort of strength from being in his presence. . .the times she hasn't kept her eyes focused under his tutelage. . .she's slipped up (i.e. the last baby daddy).

This man got her mind young. . .whether she gave it or not, he's got that baby. . .hook, line & sinker.

[MndBdySoul]

Oh i wasn't assessing you, just asking questions. See i'm the one who doesn't realy read word for word, so i have to ask. Plus i'm not knocking the older guy...that maybe what you like. Honestly, my thing is moving, he's married, wife knows.......and this man ain't even considering leaving wifey......Adimu could not cause me to do such a thing........cheat maybe, but move and relocate.....NOT!~

You have family here.


Tee, I wasn't saying you were assessing anything. I just thank you in particular because of your help.

And actually, his wife doesn't/won't know about me moving... I never said leaving wasn't going to ever be an option for him, or her. It's just not one that I'm pushing him to do. I have a feeling he will at some point, but he's not the type of person to do things on a whim.

Ya'll can keep analyzing, assessing, wondering, trying to put pieces together... I have spoken enough(too much) on our relationship and I won't be divulging anything farther.

You(Not YOU tee) seem hard pressed to try and figure it out.... good luck. :blah:

[MndBdySoul]

with her paw prints....

They are lookin' for Blues Clues... They are lookin' for Blues Clues.... Wonder where they are http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/MochaMommies/thinkerg.gif

[MndBdySoul]

tee, you starting to sound like chey now!

**********************************************

well since i can't lie, i'll be honest with ya MBS, you got me curious and nosey as all get out. I want to know wth this man done did to ya! start from the beginning and come to the present. i want details details details ... trips taken, if he had to take a paternity test for one of yo kids... all dat... you can post it on the board or... tell us at hushnic... :D

its none of my business, and i know you said you are not going to tell us, but, i'd be lying if i said 'i dont care to know'. ;)


Something tells me I'll be hemmed up in a corner at Hushnic http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/MochaMommies/1poke.gif

[MndBdySoul]

Okay, okay.... I'm going to cave.. a little and just this ONE last time.

You people keep suggesting he hasn't done anything, I need to be getting bills paid, etc... Something he has done for me... when I got laid off... he paid my rent for a month, my car note and a utility bill. As soon as I got back on my feet, I repayed him every cent. I'm not a hand-out Queen.

The money I paid him back, he bought shares of stock for me, in MY name... and gave them to me for my birthday.

Now.... that's IT.

I will continue to sit back at this point, and watch ya'lls wheels keep on spinning.

[Pamalicious]

Seems to me if we sit back - we'll get all our questions answered, lol

Love the Hush!

[MndBdySoul]

Seems to me if we sit back - we'll get all our questions answered, lol

Love the Hush!


if you call that getting all your questions answered...

alrighty.

[HulaSista]

Something tells me I'll be hemmed up in a corner at Hushnic http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/MochaMommies/1poke.gif


lol

no, but folks have been known to say more than they would on the board VOLUNTARILY

[que90nek]

Okay, okay.... I'm going to cave.. a little and just this ONE last time.

You people keep suggesting he hasn't done anything, I need to be getting bills paid, etc... Something he has done for me... when I got laid off... he paid my rent for a month, my car note and a utility bill. As soon as I got back on my feet, I repayed him every cent. I'm not a hand-out Queen.

The money I paid him back, he bought shares of stock for me, in MY name... and gave them to me for my birthday.

Now.... that's IT.

I will continue to sit back at this point, and watch ya'lls wheels keep on spinning.
u strike me as not overly honest about your business.

soon u will confess THE REST of the story.....

or not.

that's just the impression i got....

or

it could be me hatin on the comment you made in the other thread :blah:


I'M JUST KIDDING!!!


the combination of him exercising self control, yet showing you intimate moments, the selfless things that he has done for you financially...the lack of maturity on your part...the increased maturity on his part....all a dangerous combination that he could easily easily take advantage of......

or not.

if u r willing to accept your position.

the only person really being wronged....is his other family.

[misha]

And you MBS because whether you know it or not, you deserve more than the dregs of this mans time and attention!

You deserve to be number 1, 2, 3, and so on. Forget moving to where it is convenient for this man to slip over and get a nooner while the kids are in school....yep, I know that he isn't your ONLY reason.....but being in a city where you know no one and are isolated, will make your relationship even more.... important.

[MndBdySoul]

u strike me as not overly honest about your business.

soon u will confess THE REST of the story.....

or not.

that's just the impression i got....

or

it could be me hatin on the comment you made in the other thread :blah:


I'M JUST KIDDING!!!


the combination of him exercising self control, yet showing you intimate moments, the selfless things that he has done for you financially...the lack of maturity on your part...the increased maturity on his part....all a dangerous combination that he could easily easily take advantage of......

or not.

if u r willing to accept your position.

the only person really being wronged....is his other family.



I would not say I'm being dishonest about the relationship......


I'm just not as forthcoming and have not revealed nearly as much as you would like.

No.... I'm not going to confess the rest of the story... ever. Some things just ain't everybody's bidness, and if I were going to confess, the last place it would be is in this forum, or a PM, or an IM.

[que90nek]

perhaps that is what i'm sensing.

and that is a scary thing....

because if there was truly anything that would cast this in a BETTER light...u would leak it....

just like u leaked his financial help to u.....

but methinks that we've seen the true cast of this situation..........

and again

i/we wish u the best.


*sidenote*
the dc area is a GREAT area to live in....there are tremendous opportunities there. i try to send all my unemployed friends there....to seek out the most stable job market in the country

[MndBdySoul]

perhaps that is what i'm sensing.

and that is a scary thing....

because if there was truly anything that would cast this in a BETTER light...u would leak it....

just like u leaked his financial help to u.....

but methinks that we've seen the true cast of this situation..........

and again

i/we wish u the best.


*sidenote*
the dc area is a GREAT area to live in....there are tremendous opportunities there. i try to send all my unemployed friends there....to seek out the most stable job market in the country


But BETTER in whose opinion?

My idea of BETTER and yours/ya'lls I'm sure are totally different.

AND... actually the financial part wasn't a "leak". I mentioned that in one of my very first threads... remember.. you were QUICK to point it out to me when you thought it didn't go with something else I'd said.......

You haven't seen the true cast.... you've seen what you've wanted to see, gathered your own opinions, and expressed them.

Doesn't change anything FOR ME, but it's been fun to read, and I have expressed many thanks for the help you, jaila, tee, bedroomeyes, and of course, Marland have given.

[que90nek]

Better in everybody's opinion except yours.

and yours is the only one that matters.

so ...uh....

once again...GOOD LUCK.


and your leak was the clarification of exactly what he paid...and how it was returned to you....after u paid it back.

[MndBdySoul]

Better in everybody's opinion except yours.

and yours is the only one that matters.

so ...uh....

once again...GOOD LUCK.


and your leak was the clarification of exactly what he paid...and how it was returned to you....after u paid it back.


still wasn't that big of a leak, but anything to grasp onto eh? I said what he paid in that thread...my bills for a month

thanks for the luck.. but I'm counting on more than just that.

[seductive_tee]

Tee, I wasn't saying you were assessing anything. I just thank you in particular because of your help.

And actually, his wife doesn't/won't know about me moving... I never said leaving wasn't going to ever be an option for him, or her. It's just not one that I'm pushing him to do. I have a feeling he will at some point, but he's not the type of person to do things on a whim.

Ya'll can keep analyzing, assessing, wondering, trying to put pieces together... I have spoken enough(too much) on our relationship and I won't be divulging anything farther.

You(Not YOU tee) seem hard pressed to try and figure it out.... good luck. :blah:

Part of me understands some of your situation......except the move and ya'll ain't even had sex......I've dated an older man, who is similar to what you are descibing but he wasn't married and he lived here...our difference was like 13 years but we was sexing.....girl that man could go.....i've also engaged in sexual activity with a married man for years who's wife knew all that he did, but ain't say shyt..she did play on my phone for a minute though but in his eyes and hers it's the cheaper to stay together route......i in NO way wanted him like that or to leave his wife...it was nothing but sex......and friendship...i'm still friends with both today.

If and when you move here, he may not want you around alot but when he does, he will have you around. He'll begin to think you'll be there when he wants to come over at anytime. Things will change for you and him, especially since you have admitted your feelings....have you admitted them to him. This man has some control over you, but you can't see it and when you do, you won't admit to anyone but your bed of tears. He's giving you something that someone else hasn't and he'll probably give you more.

You're still young, but i do think you have a good head on your shoulders.....but it's just him.......he's gotten in your mind, heart and soul. Again, all i can say is be careful...you are going to hurt.....it's too obvious. I was talking to a friend who likes me about you last night, he's 11 years older and he said your head is sprung and that he wished he could talk to you. He also told me that you should find as many friends in the MD area, because you will need them. He also asked what would you do if you found a guy close to your own age, what would old man do.....i said old man would probably flip, especially if he helping you and you giving goodies that he ain't got to another man.....girl be careful.........and then tell him you moving to NW DC....what the tone then.....Frederick, 270.....girl he want you here but he don't want you too close..............

[FoxEMomma]

Girl
U know I'm one for not getting into anyone's business

I mean who am i?

But I kinda of agree with tee here...
Frederick is a ways away
This area is big but damn..
U really need to look inside your heart but
think with your head...
thats all i'm gonna say..

I just dont want to see u hurt.
That shit don't feel too good.

[MndBdySoul]

Part of me understands some of your situation......except the move and ya'll ain't even had sex......I've dated an older man, who is similar to what you are descibing but he wasn't married and he lived here...our difference was like 13 years but we was sexing.....girl that man could go.....i've also engaged in sexual activity with a married man for years who's wife knew all that he did, but ain't say shyt..she did play on my phone for a minute though but in his eyes and hers it's the cheaper to stay together route......i in NO way wanted him like that or to leave his wife...it was nothing but sex......and friendship...i'm still friends with both today.

If and when you move here, he may not want you around alot but when he does, he will have you around. He'll begin to think you'll be there when he wants to come over at anytime. Things will change for you and him, especially since you have admitted your feelings....have you admitted them to him. This man has some control over you, but you can't see it and when you do, you won't admit to anyone but your bed of tears. He's giving you something that someone else hasn't and he'll probably give you more.

You're still young, but i do think you have a good head on your shoulders.....but it's just him.......he's gotten in your mind, heart and soul. Again, all i can say is be careful...you are going to hurt.....it's too obvious. I was talking to a friend who likes me about you last night, he's 11 years older and he said your head is sprung and that he wished he could talk to you. He also told me that you should find as many friends in the MD area, because you will need them. He also asked what would you do if you found a guy close to your own age, what would old man do.....i said old man would probably flip, especially if he helping you and you giving goodies that he ain't got to another man.....girl be careful.........and then tell him you moving to NW DC....what the tone then.....Frederick, 270.....girl he want you here but he don't want you too close..............


Tee, of all the words that have been spoken in this thread, yours are the ones I can and will truly take to heart.

The sex issue... I mean I'm not overly concerned with that part. All of my other relationships have always been based on sex. That makes me appreciate this one that much more. I know he has a dick... I know what it looks like... lol I know what it feels like in my hands. I'm not moving because I feel like oh, we're finally going to do it.

As far as my feelings... of course I have admitted my feelings to him. He knows EXACTLY how I feel about him, about us. When we drove to L.A., that's all we had time to do, driving through the desert, is talk. It got real sappy. This man has never been the type to show emotion. Getting anything out of him is a TASK, but he revealed much to me that I either didn't know, or wasn't 100% sure of.

He does have some control over me. Of course I see that. It's clear as day. In any relationship, there's going to be some control. What makes the difference is WHO is doing the controling... you or the other person.

I don't see much changing, except the frequency of time we spend together. I don't expect us to talk any more, or any less. We laid out expectations, of each other, and what we both felt was necessary and realistic given the situation. I understand, that sometimes we'll be together less, sometimes more. I can deal with that. We have never, in all this time, talked on the phone every single day, stuff like that. Why would I expect it to change?

I actually found an apartment, like 4 mins(according to mapquest) away from his house... surprisingly with rent I can afford. I was thinking, now that would be HELLA funny, BUT.. I don't want to be that close to him AND I'm not to sure of the neighborhood. We BOTH want me close... but not TOO close.

[MndBdySoul]

Girl
U know I'm one for not getting into anyone's business

I mean who am i?

But I kinda of agree with tee here...
Frederick is a ways away
This area is big but damn..
U really need to look inside your heart but
think with your head...
thats all i'm gonna say..

I just dont want to see u hurt.
That shit don't feel too good.

Thanks FoxE....

[Pamalicious]

Hmmm, an example of eventually if we keep going (right or wrong) we get around to finding and hearing what we want to hear. Mixed in that story Tee gave was alot of what others were saying, but not until an 'example' was mixed in of someone doing it - did it become so constructive, lol lol lol

[MndBdySoul]

Hmmm, an example of eventually if we keep going (right or wrong) we get around to finding and hearing what we want to hear. Mixed in that story Tee gave was alot of what others were saying, but not until an 'example' was mixed in of someone doing it - did it become so constructive, lol lol lol

Pam... girl whatever... LOL

How many times as it been now that you said you had nothing left to say on this?

What I just wrote to tee ain't revealed a damn thing more than I've already said. Give it up already. You are getting really tired.

[Pamalicious]

Pam... girl whatever... LOL

How many times as it been now that you said you had nothing left to say on this?

What I just wrote to tee ain't revealed a damn thing more than I've already said. Give it up already. You are getting really tired.

Really I got good sleep last nite, I'm quite rested, not tired at all and I didn't say you revealed anything, you getting a bit huffy, just validates what I said for those that understand it. :cool:

[MndBdySoul]

Really I got good sleep last nite, I'm quite rested, not tired at all and I didn't say you revealed anything, you getting a bit huffy, just validates what I said for those that understand it. :cool:

You keep coming in here with .. ooohhhh u just said this so that means....

and ahhhhhh u just said that so this means.....

It's just irritating...

[seductive_tee]

Tee, of all the words that have been spoken in this thread, yours are the ones I can and will truly take to heart.

The sex issue... I mean I'm not overly concerned with that part. All of my other relationships have always been based on sex. That makes me appreciate this one that much more. I know he has a dick... I know what it looks like... lol I know what it feels like in my hands. I'm not moving because I feel like oh, we're finally going to do it.

As far as my feelings... of course I have admitted my feelings to him. He knows EXACTLY how I feel about him, about us. When we drove to L.A., that's all we had time to do, driving through the desert, is talk. It got real sappy. This man has never been the type to show emotion. Getting anything out of him is a TASK, but he revealed much to me that I either didn't know, or wasn't 100% sure of.

He does have some control over me. Of course I see that. It's clear as day. In any relationship, there's going to be some control. What makes the difference is WHO is doing the controling... you or the other person.

I don't see much changing, except the frequency of time we spend together. I don't expect us to talk any more, or any less. We laid out expectations, of each other, and what we both felt was necessary and realistic given the situation. I understand, that sometimes we'll be together less, sometimes more. I can deal with that. We have never, in all this time, talked on the phone every single day, stuff like that. Why would I expect it to change?

I actually found an apartment, like 4 mins(according to mapquest) away from his house... surprisingly with rent I can afford. I was thinking, now that would be HELLA funny, BUT.. I don't want to be that close to him AND I'm not to sure of the neighborhood. We BOTH want me close... but not TOO close.

Ok what stopped ya'll?

No one should control anyone in a relationship......and control can be a terrible thing ith some folks.

Oh you two will talk more, because you'l be calling him asking him how to get somewhere or he'll be calling to see if you need to go someplace.

What area is that? And tell him you found a place that close and pay CLOSE attention to his reaction.

Whatever you do, be near a subway.

[Brightness]

LOL. . .at Tee's words being the most germane (of them ALL) in this thread.

And that's not an insult. . .that's just truly interesting because a rose by any other name. . .ya'll know the saying.

Work your rapport. . .

[seductive_tee]

MBS, so what's going on with him? You still moving?

[MndBdySoul]

MBS, so what's going on with him? You still moving?


Nothing has changed....

[MndBdySoul]

He and I read this(and the other threads where I talked about us) together this past weekend. So many things have changed from 4 years ago....totaling this "connection" now to 11 years.

So many words of advice I totally missed back then. I put myself and our situation out there without wanting to really LISTEN to what would be said as a result, and responded so childishly...yikes...it was really hard reading some of my responses. We got a few good laughs reading this together.

I'll post an update soon, but I will say, learning how to demand more(better) for myself, and doing for myself, what I felt was best for ME, has yielded the results I was looking for.

[Juicey1]

He and I read this(and the other threads where I talked about us) together this past weekend. So many things have changed from 4 years ago....totaling this "connection" now to 11 years.

So many words of advice I totally missed back then. I put myself and our situation out there without wanting to really LISTEN to what would be said as a result, and responded so childishly...yikes...it was really hard reading some of my responses. We got a few good laughs reading this together.

I'll post an update soon, but I will say, learning how to demand more(better) for myself, and doing for myself, what I felt was best for ME, has yielded the results I was looking for.

So are you still in the DFW area?

[sistuhchey]

and re-read another link..just to remember what was what...WTH:eek:..lol,lol

a hush maze...