TeLL Me A StOrY....

[MR REMI RED]

as much as you can remember .. tell me a story ...
as grafix as you wanna be .. or as sexual /as NON SEXUAL as you want it to me ... tell me a story about the ADVENTURES of you or your alter EGO... but make the story BASED on true facts/events that happened in YOUR LIFE....
it doesnt have to be 7pages long... but if it is i might wanna read it ... if you wanna bend/FLEX the truth alil thats ok .. but REMEMBER BASE it on actual facts...




title the post the ADVENTURES of.... ( or something towards that effect)

[Pamalicious]

(This is a True Story)

I was sitting in Philly twiddling my thumbs because I was bored. My mom was yakking and I began to feel like Bleek in Mo Betta Blues - I was just toning it out.

The phone ringing pierced my semi-comatose state and my mom said "it's for you" I leapt across the room and grabbed it "Hello!" It was my College Mentor. A brother who made sure I had a good time at.......COMMUNITY COLLEGE! He was older than me and it showed back in the day, but with me now being 36 he was only 43. We tripped out on me being there and then he said, "Get Dressed - we going out" I almost cried I was so happy. He said I'm coming to get you at 11:30 and get ready to get it going!!

I ran upstairs and put on this leather skirt I had and then my 'hooker boots' It was winter so the boots looked GOOD and when I wear them I be STEPPIN WITH THE BIG DAWGS!!!!!

Threw on a little top and yea I put no a sweater because even at 36 who wants to hear their momma!

He got there about 11:45 and was already drunk and.....high! I hopped in the car and there were two other brothas - he introduced me to them and said I was his little sis and no matter what happen that nite they were to go down trying to protect me, lol

I found out they actually were from Atlanta and Alpha's like him. They passed the drink and I got to catching up with the vibe already established.

I don't know what it is about hanging with him, but I throw caution to the wind, some of my most drunk and best off the wall experiences (in relation to my life) have happen with him.

We roll up to North Philly, loud and cussing and end up at this Row Home with ALOT of guys hanging outside. He lets me know we going to a bachelor party! and I ask "Shit am I the stripper? you should have told me I would have worn my crotchless" There was a resounding DAYUM!!! in the Escort (yes I said ESCORT circa '91 or somethin) - I always like that shock value because I ain't even 'built' to be no stripper.

So we head on upstairs and it's thick with smoke and testosterone. Niggas EVERYWHERE. I sure wish I couldn't called some of my GA Peaches - but Hey this was my thang! I was the belle of the ball - them niggas descended on me like white on rice!!

My friend was pushing shoving and getting us in the house - I felt like Janet or somebody! As I walked some of the looks were letcherous, some inquisitive and some were so stoned it didn't matter.

My friend introduced me to quite a nice looking Brotha, but you could tell he was a 'square' and told him "you are her bodyguard. your job is to make sure she is not touched, hurt, or approached" Dude said sure and my friend disappeared.

We traded names and I sat back to watch the action. Brothas talking loud, Brothas giving dap, Brothas getting drunk, Brothas talking about women - I was in heaven being a part of something women unless they on the pole are not a part of.

I got passed some drink, I got passed some weed and we just sat back and chilled.

Now my friend - is a Teacher at a college and he's Degreed and Doctored, but once he leaves that job he's buck wild!! He was being MACHO MACHO MAN! and getting more and more tore up. So I'm sitting chatting with my 'bodyguard' and the way I'm sitting is purposely so that some caramel thigh is giving off some flashers and of course because even being my alter-ego I still attract TROLLS - some 3 feet 2 tall wayyy to drunk Brotha approaches me, right behind him however is some GOD LIKE CHOCOLATE FANTASY. I hone in on him and little man immediately sees this and gets CRUNK!!

Now the music is blasting it's so much smoke in there - I'm feeling my high and this nigga leans in and almost blows me over with the breath. how you have breath when you been indulging?! Shouldn't you have THAT breath?! I kinda blow him off so I can focus on CHOCOLATE FANTASY.

I'm letting CHOCOLATE FANTASY - get as close as humanly possible, TROLL is fuming and my BODYGUARD is like "I shouldn't have come out tonite".

Then the yell that the strippers were there came and so attention was turned off of me. Here come the HOOCHIES!

The Groom to Be who was about passed out was sat in a chair a la' Best Man style and here come some broads they must have picked up off of SEPTA (the rail system) on the way to the party! The Groom to be sat straight up and was like who are these ugly bitches?! I was Hollaring it was so funny!! He was PISSED and got up and turned over the chairs and went downstairs to get some air.

So these broads knew they had to start to sucking or fuckign or somethin cause EYE CANDY they wern't. So that got to it and I stood in the door and watched them sexing some of the dudes.

Meanwhile TROLL was working himself into a frenzy at my diss earlier. My FRIEND came out the bathroom with PISS running down his leg cause he missed the toilet. CHOCOLATE FANTASY was standing behind me hunching on my ass and I was like "He sure got a hard ass dick" The energy in the room was picking up majorly cause now we got sex in the air.

Suddenly TROLL makes his move and pushes CHOCOLATE FANTASY. He turns around and TROLL is cussing him out about ME. CHOCOLATE FANTASY - is like back up of me, she ain't interested in you. I tell them both I ain't giving out no number or nothing at no bachelor party!

TROLL calls me a BITCH, CHOCOLATE FANTASY pulls out his GUN (I knew that wasn't no dick!) The strippers stop mid fuck and start gathering they stuff. My BODYGUARD comes out of nowhere and picks me up, throws me over his shoulder and takes off down the hall to the front door. CHOCOLATE FANTASY and TROLL are FIGHING.

My Friend is right behind us and as that party gets busted the fuck up, I'm whisked away like the STAR I AM!!

[Pamalicious]

We all pile in the car and jet "Boys in the Hood Style" The fellas are all trippin about the janky party! I admonish my friend for having janky friends, lol

He's like we movin on to the next spot. We get there and it's a Love Jones Vibe, House party still CRANKIN at 2:45am! I was like DAYUM! This dude has moved all his furniture in the living room dining room and den in the back yard to clear his house out for the party. (Philly row homes are small and narrow). He has more liquor than I've ever seen and there is one thing that sticks out THIS IS A GAY PARTY!! My friend switches gears from being an Alpha with the fellas to being GRAND DAME F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!!!! (Two Snaps in an "Z" formation).

The music is bumping the dance floor is in the basement so it's hot as FUCK down there! All of us fall down the steps cause by now I'm so drunk and with that little bit of weed, I'm DONE! They playing house and old school Rap (what a combo). My friend pulls me out on the floor and you would have thought I was on Estacy. My friend can dance and he cleared that floor and like he always does - he begins to strip! Now he's dancing in some of those really tight Boxer/Briefs and nothing else! We are getting down and I can't even feel my feet I'm so tired! I was rocking 3 1/2 inch heels mind you.

We dancing and Dancing and then this nigga gets on his hands and knees and is like RIDE ME BITCH RIDE ME BITCH! I hop on this niggas back and he begins to ride me around the dance floor and I'm in a skirt on a naked mans back - yelling GIDDUP MOTHER FUCKER GIDDIUP!! EVERYBODY IS YELLING 'THE ROOF THE ROOF THE ROOF IS ON FIRE! I swore that house was going to collapse like the one in Carrie!! Niggas undressing getting buck wild it was OFF THE CHAIN!

Six A.M. and I am asleep in a corner - my boots OFF, don't know where they are. I literally crawl past people on the steps and find my friend who is STILL UP sitting on the front steps. He has my boots! We sit out there no coat no nothing and just talk and then he's like I better get you home, I have a lecture this evening.

I get out the car and come on in the house - and put my sweater back on because even at 36 who wants to hear your mommas mouth about your outfit.

[HulaSista]

i just finished telling someone a story similar to this thread topic some time ago. i may have to go back and edit/copy/paste that story? :eek: lol