Compatibilty???

[sistuhchey]

Do you share the same interest?? or just the opposite with your s/o or spouse????

After you became involved or connected, did you realize you really didn't have that much in common afterall:eek: :eek:

He loves sports...I enjoy a good game
He drinks too much ...I drink on the weekend, and some evenings
He reads the newspaper from cover to cover...I read the internet, a good book and magazines
He's patient in public......I hate waiting in lines...(movies/restaurant)
He hates family functions...I love them....
He loves ole' skool....(Parliment, Gap Band,Cameo)...I prefer "Slow jams"..or jazz.....
We both agree we need more spiritual food???
He prefers to charge....I prefer cash!!!

Just to name a few.....I know this is nothing to run to divorce court over...or break-up...I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way?????
:eek: :confused: :rolleyes: :eek:

[Sparkles]

I hear ya, but if the truth be told, these are some of things why folks do run to divorce court and causes break ups.

I have found that upon dating we will use the line, OH I like him or her becaus their different than the others. In most cases, that difference was more than we bargained for. Sometimes we as woman think some how or some way that we are so "different" than the man's previous S/O that it's going to make all the "difference" to the relationship. Does that make any sense!!!

When I first met my S/O he there were some differences but not a lot. we both had our own opnion about certain things, and we would discuss why we felt a certain way about cetain issue. We both taught each other a lot about respecting each other's opinion, and the biggest one was that our own opinion is NOT always right.

I don't know Chey but like I said, I seen many relationship sour because of these exact reasons..

[Bedroomeyes]

I think it should be a mixture of both similarities and differences.. Just to keep it interesting.. If you are too much alike.. You'll probably get bored with one another.. And if you are too different.. You'll always be bumping heads....

[sistuhchey]

Originally posted by Bedroomeyes+
I think it should be a mixture of both similarities and differences.. Just to keep it interesting.. If you are too much alike.. You'll probably get bored with one another.. And if you are too different.. You'll always be bumping heads....


.....Agree...very true....my sister has 40 yrs of marriage...I'm like DANG!!!!....they're different as night and day!!!!


she's a mess...he's neat as a pin...
she's High School graduate....he's MBA
she reads the Enquire... he reads reference journals..
she's vocal(loud)...he barely speaks above a whisper...

GO FIGURE!!!!
:confused:

[shtalker]

Bump^^^^^^

[Brother-Bile]

I would probably want "positive complimentary-ness" just as much as I want "compatibility". And for me, "compatibility" does not have to mean that we like the exact same things. As long as we respect the other peson's likes...or that their 'likes' don't infringe on my 'likes'... and vice-versa.

[Pamalicious]

We've merged into a giant oneness and I like it. There are enough escape hatches when needed - but I like that we are in sync. We too old to be tripping and what not over each other.

[HulaSista]

Do you share the same interest?? or just the opposite with your s/o or spouse????

yes we do; and we're opposite in a lot of ways... such as (alot of these are minors)

similarities:

we're both christians
we both have one child
we both have teens
our kids are close in age
we went to the same high school and didn't know it
his cousins are great friends of mine
we are both social butterflies
we believe in family togetherness (not just immediate but extended family as well)
we both always worked within a blocked from each other (straight coincedence)
we both liked each other from the moment we met each other and didn't know it (so many years ago)
we both are products of single mothers and absent fathers
we both are single parents (duh)
we both like each others friends
we're both very dark people emotionally
we both love kids
we both love to play dominoes
we don't argue (which is strange for me; i've never ever in 13 years picked a fight with him and he's never had a reason to 'check' me)
we like to debate civilly
we both like a challenge
we're both competitive




opposites


i'm adventurous; he's calculated
he likes to cuddle when we sleep; i sleep as far away as possible (i'll start out that way, but i start feeling like i can't breath and i have to crawl from up under him)
he falls asleep and stay in one position all night; i figit til i go to sleep then move alot all night long
i'm fast about EVERYTHING; he is slow and takes his time with EVERYTHING
I don't have baby daddy drama; he does have baby momma drama
i do all the talking; he does all the laughing
he's patient, i'm not
we disagree about male female relationship failures (i believe anyone is worth a try; he's suspicious - ie the adventurous/calculated mentality
i take risks; he doesn't
i spend money; he saves money (circumstance driven)
i travel ALOT; he doesnt (circumstance driven)
he's had one job for 18 years; i've had more jobs than i can count in 18 years
he likes to sit and watch movies; i like to go out and be out around town
he needs sleep; i don't need sleep (lol... hence the time of this post
i can wake up early in the morning on 2 hours of sleep; he needs a minimum of 6 hours of sleep and he hates mornings (i don't like mornings either but i'm not afraid of them and have come to appreciate them)
i'm heavy into church ministry; he enjoys sunday worship only
he prevers 7:30am church service; i prefer 11am service - or anything later if it was possible
i'm a hard sleeper, he's a light sleeper
he's analytically about political and social issues; i'm analytical about emotions and mental health issues
he's private; i'm wide open
he doesn't share his feelings; i wear mines on my sleeves and enjoy it (see private/open)
he has patience to sit and talk and play with kids; i don't (i work really hard at it... i'd rather take them to an amusement park rather than sit at home and play a game...
i'm ALWAYS getting myself in a pickle; he plays it safe in every situation
he's a DIY'er... i'd rather hire somebody to do the job
he's active; i'm lazy
i read alot; he doesn't
i'm an internet and tv junkie; he isn't
i like foreign movies with subtitles; he likes action and suspense movies (which is why i hate watching movies with him)
he watches sports on tv easily; i prefer to go to the game (unless it's baseball, i can tolerate baseball)
i love squash - he ates it
he focus on ONE THING at a time; i multi-task and do a lot of things at once


(while typing the above list, everytime i come up with a similarity, i'd add on two opposites :beating)

After you became involved or connected, did you realize you really didn't have that much in common afterall

no; the only thing i don't like about us is how i'm fast and he's slow... in EVERYTHING... right down to this relationship. i think i can handle everything else, but, in terms of the relationship... he's a slow mover to the point of annoyance. i don't understand what we're 'waiting on'... but he's really thinking the whooooooooooooole thing through. i assume God gave me him to work and test my patience... and the results are in (as i always knew) i have no patience.

yet long as we've known each other, its easy to stay connected to the similarities because we're use to each other now; there are a lot of things he doesn't know about me that are probably opposites and even some things he likes about me that he can't put his finger on (his quote) that may make us more opposites. i think that is common we're you're single for most of your adult life and then get together with someone in your 30's, 40's, etc...

[seductive_tee]

he loves music and can listen all day, me only when in the car
he loves sports, i love hgtv/diy
i love to bargin shop, he'll just go to the closest store
he can't say no to others, i can
he will get dressed and be in the house all day, me...i'll lounge in pajamas unless i need to go out
I'm patient, he's not

[ERinger]

We are different in lots of ways, but that's what I like. I'm boring, it would kill me dating someone like me.

He likes different kinds of foods/exotic stuff, but that's because he's lived in so many other countries. I kinda like the southern soul food stuff. He cooks a lot of different things, loves trying new recipes. I'm not that adventurous when it comes to my food.

He loves to spend money, but he's got years of combat pay stashed away, but he's good at investing. Knows a lot more about money than I do, but I have the better credit, lol.

We both love music, he could listen to rap all day, me, I have to be in the mood.

He's very into PDA, but I'm more comfortable behind closed doors.

I like sports more than he does.

We both like/desire to travel.

He's more extravegant in dressing. He likes tailored suites and $100 black label shirts. I'm an Old Navy kinda chick. I dress like a white girl.

He's much better at computers than I am, but I'm the brainy one. He always teases me because I say beverage.

[shtalker]

Well we are a lot alike,
We both love sports
We both love action movie
We both love to consume alcohol
We both can curse alot
We love to listen to music(not always listening to the same thing)
He pays his bills on time, but I like to maybe shift things around
We are both competitive
We are impatient
He snores, I don't(even though he says I do)