Confused And In Need Of Advice!

[MsTopshelf]

Hi everyone,

I have an issue that I need your input on. First of all lemme say this. I have had a wonderful man come into my life that I truly adore. He is compassionate, understanding, family oriented, giving, devoted, supportive and we look cute together. He treats me the way I wanna be treated, hugs and kisses me when I need it, throws the dick right when I want it and he has my back just like I have his. He is genuinely a GOOD MAN! And I'm not just saying that cause he is my baby, HE REALLY IS!:D

So here is the dilemna, :rolleyes:, my man needs more stability in his life. When I try to talk to him about this I have become so frustrated that I think it comes out the wrong way and he closes up on me. Basically, I'm not used to having a good man around. Let me tell you. I am the kinda chick that really doesn't fall in love and open my heart up to men so easily. So my past relationships were unfulfilling because I always played that hard role. Now that I am in a fulfilling relationship I wanna do my damndest to make it work. I want to show this man the support that he has shown me but its hard.

OK back to my story. Mr. X and I have known each other for about a year. We started seeing each other more seriously about 4 months ago. When we were going through the getting-to-know-you period my man was living with his cousin. When we were dating it was like we spent most of our weekeends together and just stayed on the phone all night together during the week. Needless to say, over time and when we made it official my man started staying over more frequently although I had told him that I have never lived with a man before and I don't intend on doing so.

To make a long story short, my man stays with me full time now. At first it was different for me cause I am very protective of my personal space but now I have gotten used to it. He helps me out when I need it and we get along great except for when I am in a mood (I am a very moody person). But he still gives me my space even then.

But it just doesn't feel right. I am not the most righteous person but I feel like I am blocking my blessings by allowing this man to live with me. He is going through a transitional period in his life where he is trying to find a better job and his cousin kicked him out. What do I do ya'll? I don't wanna turn away from him because he has been supportive of me when I have gone through tough times and I can really empathize with him because I have been through the exact same thing before. I have prayed about it and I am trying to be patient but God hasn't givcen me an answer as to what to do yet.

PLEASE HELP!:(

[que90nek]

three words:

Rent "Disappearing Acts"

[shtalker]

Originally posted by que90nek+
three words:

Rent "Disappearing Acts"
Those would be my exact words.

[OhSoPrecious]

But, what if she's seen "Disappearing Acts" already~?? :confused: :rolleyes:


MsTopshelf. . just keep on praying girl and wait for HIM to give you your answer~!! ;)


Btw, Welcome to the Hush~!!

[que90nek]

well...the second part of my answer is to watch it WITH her man....and talk about it....communication should yield an appropriate answer...if this guy has goals ... cool...if not...then she might want to discuss his eviction.

[MsTopshelf]

I have seen Disappearing Acts and the situation is quite similar except that he doesn't have any kids. But the type of work he does is the same and right now he is trying to find another job but he still goes whenever he can and he is willing to work no matter what.

It's just that eventhough he isn't really stable right now, in the long run I feel that everything is gonna work out for him because he is a hard worker. And because of his values and morals I know he will be succesfull one day. I just don't want God to punish me for allowing this man to live with me when actually I am just trying to be there for him. But I guess the Lord knows where my heart is.

I will rent Disappearing Acts so we can watch it together and kinda get some things out in the open.

[que90nek]

well...the definite point of the movie was that the dude realized that sittin up under some woman...he was never gonna truly get himself together. and that he couldnt do right by her until he got his stuff together.

[lasttry]

all you gotta do is start charging him rent, that way he is your roommate, and make sure he is pulling his weight....when i say roommate i mean like a real roommate...

i hope he aint up in there living for free

don't end up on one of those court tv shows over this

[MsTopshelf]

i hope he aint up in there living for free

bruthman is not smoochin' off of me. I ain't even with that shit! I make sure he pull his weight and whatever he gets I get. But money is not even the issue.

Like que said he just needs to get his shit together.

[OhSoPrecious]

Originally posted by MsTopshelf
bruthman is not smoochin' off of me. I ain't even with that shit!

Mama always said. . . You can do bad by yourself~!!! :rolleyes: Ain't that the truth~?!?!?!?! :hammer

[Brightness]

What were the circumstances with his cousin kicking him out?

Did his cousin feel as if he wasn't making sufficient enough progress? If so, then to me that would be somewhat of a sign. . .I know people can get down or in a rut but at some point the mourning period is over and you get down to business.

I'm of the opinion that if his basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) & wants (companionship, minimal drama, in-house p*ssy--no disrespect intended MsTopshelf) are being met then he may feel some sense of contentment for the time being. The only thing is that sometimes this can be what they settle for and when you begin to press the issue of move forward again, they take it as a sign that you aren't happy with them for them . . . dang, this does sound just like Disappearing Acts. . .

It's true that God knows our heart but you are also accountable for changing actions which you know may not be pleasing in his sight. Feeling that conviction in regards to living with him and talking about your "blessings being blocked" or "God punishing you" in the first place is testament to that.

[sistuhchey]

you and MR X...were married...would that make the blessings flow????...I think blessings come when you help someone, who may be less fortunate....and what if he did have his SHIT together..job, crib, car...whatever!!!....what blessings are you expecting to gain from this relationship????

yea, yea, yea...we can do bad by ourselves...this is true...but if you're feeling this man...everynow and then you gotta step out on faith.....and hope for the best...

In my times, I've had my share of (transitional bruther's)...and if you believe there's not a HUSH SISTUH on this board that haven't they're lying (truly).....sometimes we gotta crawl before we walk...just don't get walked on in the process...you'll know if it's right or not!!or if he's about it.....time will tell....:)

[knowledge7]

If the man is coming at you real.. and you see that he is at least trying.. give him that at least..If he gives that initative then eventually, he will get on his feet and do what he has to do.. all you haveto do is give him that support so that he don't get disscouraged