Pregnant

[seductive_tee]

For those of you ladies who gave birth while still in high school or under the age 18, how did you feel about it?

Did you think it was cute, embarressing, scarey, exciting ....what?

I see these girls today and they truly believe it'scute...No job the first, no boyfriend near them, damn clothes to small, jeans all unbutton, breast hanging out talking about how cute some baby outfit gonna look on there child.....HELLO.....you have no job.....I just don't understand.

I mean i was a teenage mother, giving birth in my 11th grade year, but i wasn't outside flaunting my stomach and just showing off. I was embarrassed and scared. What about ya'll? Fella's did ya'll have relatives like this?

[Tastey]

I wasn't a teen-aged mother, however I think the reason teen mothers do not feel any remorse in being pregnant is because no one is teaching them otherwise.

Very few teenagers are taught abstinence. Most parents tell their kids...be careful...don't bring no babies here...or whatever but few actually say Don't have sex.

And when they do end up 15,16, and pregnant everyone acts as if it's the most natural thing in the world. So they mimick what the people around them do.

My neice is 16, and when my sister suspected she was sexually active did she say Don't have sex NOPE. She put her on birth control. So now she has free reign to have all the sex she wants and if it fails and she ends up pregant...whose to blame?

My son will be told. If you make a baby, you will quit school and get a job and feed it. PERIOD. I will not help you finish school, I will not help you take care of it. I will NOT reward you for making a stupid mistake. Birth control is not fool-proof. If you want a life with no unwanted babies.DON'T HAVE SEX!Bottomline...if you do have sex.You will suffer and I do mean SUFFER the consequences.

I wasn't a teen-age mother because I was scared to death of what my mother would do to me if I came home pregnant. I knew there would be no prom, no fun, no college. Basically life would revolve around working a 2-bit job and feeding a child. Life would be HELL. I was a virgin until I was 17 almost 18 because there was no way I was taking that chance. NO WAY!

[Bedroomeyes]

Got pregnant with my first child at 16, had him at 17.. Got pregnant the first time I had sex.. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and scared.. Scared that my mother was gonna kill me and scared of having a baby.. There was no flaunting anything.. I hid my pregnancy from everyone except for the people closest to me.. Like Tastey said.. It was hard.. I missed my Prom, Senior homecoming, senior pictures, senior trips... All I did was go to school, work, and take care of baby... If I had to do it again.. It would have been different.. And my children do know about my struggles and the mistakes I made.. I tell them so they don't make the same ones.... Hopefully they will listen.. :rolleyes:

[Juicey1]

I was also a teenage mother. I had my son a month before my 17th birthday right as I entered my last year of high school. I was truly upset with myself for letting that happen to me. Once I found out I stayed in the house for awhile and was embarrassed to face my parents, grandmother and aunts. No, I didn't think it was cute or anything. When it came time for me to get into maternity clothes, I was embarrassed again.

My daughter will be 17 in January. I thank God that she hasn't gotten pregnant. I don't think she is sexually active. She has heard my story so many times. I know she wants more for herself than having a baby and not being able to acheive the goals you set for yourself at the time that you want to do it. She is taking a class to become a licensed cosmotologist and she wants to go to college. She has a friend that is due real soon. l

[SoftNwet]

and disapointed in my self because I knew that going away to college was out of the question at that point. I also knew that I had let a lot of people down and I was not out trying to act like I thought it was cute, because it was not!! Plus how could you be cute at 3 months being a 6 month size and taking all the jokes of how big I had gotten. I also lost all my color!!!! Was waliking around lighter that I normally am so that was not cute at all. I just did my time (7 1/2 months) and dealt with the consequences. That is the problem with the gilrs now they do not see down the road when you are the one that is totally responsible for the child after it gets here.

I understand what Tastey is saying but in reality the girl and her family are the ones that bear the responibility of the child....not the teeneaged father. Yeah, they talk a good game before the child gets here but when push comes to shove he ain't even quitting school to get a job. The reasoning will be..to let him finish school so he can take care of the child......then his ass goes off the college and WALLAH!!!! Another unwed mother being a burden to her family. Either way unless he is one special brother once he is in college....... baby and mother will be out of sight/out of mind!!

[FAMU]

Originally posted by Tastey+

My son will be told. If you make a baby, you will quit school and get a job and feed it. PERIOD. I will not help you finish school, I will not help you take care of it. I will NOT reward you for making a stupid mistake. Birth control is not fool-proof. If you want a life with no unwanted babies.DON'T HAVE SEX!Bottomline...if you do have sex.You will suffer and I do mean SUFFER the consequences.


This type of attitude is what desroying our African-American youth. Yes, teenage pregnacy is a big problem, but it is not solved by giving up on your child. It is not solved by forcing them to be men and woman when they are not ready to be. Yes, they have done an adult act, but a 15 or 16 year old is not a adult and should not be forced to be made one. Instead they need to continue to be loved and shown guidence on where to go in life. I can't understand how a mother or father would put there child out when they need them the most. If your child becomes a parent as a teenager to a degree it shows some flaws in your parenting skills(proper supervision) and I feel some of the responsibilty is own the parent. I did not have any kids by the age of 18, but I did have three by the age of 21. However, if it was not for a strong family support system I would not be where I am at today. I think that BE, soft, and juicy ought to be able to attest today. Having a child as a teenage does put limatations on a child, but with proper guidence he/she can get back on the right road.

[seductive_tee]

I guess i was one of the lucky ones....i made my senior prom, the after party, senior trip, homecoming and pictures. My mother said i will suffer with the actions i took later in life and she did not lie. I worked in my senior year on Fridays and Saturdays and i excelled in school. I just didn't flaunt my pregnancy. I mean some of these girls today just walk around with the bellies just showing. Sad....just sad!

[Tastey]

Originally posted by Rev.



This type of attitude is what desroying our African-American youth. Yes, teenage pregnacy is a big problem, but it is not solved by giving up on your child. It is not solved by forcing them to be men and woman when they are not ready to be. Yes, they have done an adult act, but a 15 or 16 year old is not a adult and should not be forced to be made one. Instead they need to continue to be loved and shown guidence on where to go in life. I can't understand how a mother or father would put there child out when they need them the most. If your child becomes a parent as a teenager to a degree it shows some flaws in your parenting skills(proper supervision) and I feel some of the responsibilty is own the parent. I did not have any kids by the age of 18, but I did have three by the age of 21. However, if it was not for a strong family support system I would not be where I am at today. I think that BE, soft, and juicy ought to be able to attest today. Having a child as a teenage does put limatations on a child, but with proper guidence he/she can get back on the right road.

2 years and I never even read this.

There is a difference in proper guidance and coddling.

Too many teens today are coddled by their parents and that's why having babies at 15 is seen as cute.

The proper guidance comes BEFORE the baby is made. Teaching a child the responsibilities that being a parent holds. Being a parent is nothing to be taken lightly.

I know people who took their grandchildren and raised them so their child could have a "normal" teen aged life. I will not do that. Yes I want my son to go to college, Yes I want him to have all of the experiences of being a young person, and I will support his 350% but I will not REWARD him for messing up.

His life will be harder because he has a child, and it's SUPPOSED to be harder because he had a child.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

You can get over it, and go on to do great things in life. Plenty of people have. But if you never learn a lesson from your actions and your parents are always there to bail you out of situation you will never be an independent adult.

I have a cousin who is 47 yrs old, and can't take care of himself. Why? Because his Momma bailed him out at every turn in life and she died 2 years ago.

When he was 16 and got his girfriend pregnant they moved in with his parents so he could stay his school, her parents kicked her out. (I don't condone that but she turned out a better person than he did)

At 18 he went into the military, didn't like it, Momma got him discharged and helped him get a job where she worked.

Until he got fired. Then Momma paid his bills, and took care of the wife and NOW 2 kids while he "looked" for work.

Then he ended up in jail for "hustling" some sort of scam he was running on people.

Momma bailed him out, let him live with her.

He kept breaking probation went back and forth to jail. By that time his wife had wised up and left him and moved on with her life.

He was 45 and living at home with his Momma when she died and his Daddy let him know "You ain't staying here no more rent free."

Again I don't condone that but I do believe in choices and consequences.

I would never turn my back on my child, that's my blood. But I will allow him to learn about choices and consequences.

If one of those choices is to be a sexually active teen and make a baby...then he will face the consequences.

If that means quitting school, working a job while going to school, or whatever it means then that's what he'll do.

It won't mean Momma is gonna support your child, or that Momma is gonna pay for an abortion.

You reap what you sow.