He/she got a SO...so what?

[lovely]

If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you persue a relationship.

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.

if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.

[mack_black]

I think it depends on the attraction level....and your personal level of discipline...

sometimes attraction can be so strong that one can have a "dont care" attitude even to the point of disrespecting the S/O... however if the party with the said S/O goes right along with you, then the said S/O aint an S/O, just a HLF and you can probably do your thing and pull this person from the so-called S/O...

but as to discipline -> I know you've heard "what looks good to ya may not be good for ya" just like that candy bar....you know you shouldnt have it but grab it anyway.....

and always remember what goes around comes around..if you push up hard and break the relationship, life will have its way of evening the score....so really...do whatcha like, and remember that there can be repercussions or blessings around the corner ... :D

[Sparkles]

Originally posted by mack_black+
I think it depends on the attraction level....and your personal level of discipline...

and always remember what goes around comes around..if you push up hard and break the relationship, life will have its way of evening the score....so really...do whatcha like, and remember that there can be repercussions or blessings around the corner ... :D

I total agree mack!

Also if a person is in a relationship that so bad, then why not just ended. Don't be hanging around trying to have the best of both worlds because in the end someone will get hurt and it might be you. And don't be using "I'm staying for the kid's" shit, because if thing at home that bad, then you be doing to kid's a favor by leaving!!!

Anything is possible, but i would tread those waters very lightly!!!!

[misha]

Nah, I wouldn't persue it. What is the point? You are begging for a world of hurt. If not yours, then somebody elses. It just isn't that serious.

[seductive_tee]

I think it depends on what you're looking for and what you can handle.

I have only pursued one man in my life and i felt that was enough. He wasn't married but there was someone sort of. This man is now my daughters father.

Now i have never pusued a married man but i've dated. I was approached by them. I really don't have the nerve to pursue a married man.

My thing is this, if you are looking for sex and can handle the end, do what you do, but if you are looking for some/any kind of committment, don't go there.

I would not put my feelings out there if i knew there was someone else.

To me this question is only asking if you would have an affair with someone who you know has someone else in the picture.

[Babygirl]

No, don't want anyone else's man

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.
No...

if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.
What makes me think I am the one that can make them happy? and if he is so unhappy way is he still in a relationship?

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?
advise him to conclude his present relationship, then we can start a friendship and see where it goes.

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.
Leave him alone....if it was meant to be between you it will happen.

[lovely]

He is in a relationship, been in it for going on three years. They live together. He is not unhappy, but he cares for me too. (Can you be happy in a relationship and want to be with someone else too?) They don't have any children..he has a preadolesent daughter, but not with her. We have been friends for a couple of years. We havent had sex...we have kissed, touched...but not sex. I never went after him...things just happened. He is very special to me...but i do respect the his current relationship. He told me how he felt before i said something to him. And even then i waited, because i am not a very easily open person about how i feel. I really feel that he is still with her because they have lived together for over two years...and he is comfortable....not necessarly happy...if that makes sense. I have made up in my mind that i would not sleep with him..because i respect our relationship..our friendship too much. I don't touch him anymore and i barely see him..because the attraction, the need for him..not just sexually.. is too much..to hard to deal with with. It hurts.

Then at the same time i meet other people and we could have a sexual relationship, and we can be friends, but i always hold back because the feelings are there for my friend. Can you just make the feelings go away? How can i move forward from this if the feelings are so strong? I have never been in the situation before.:(

[ThickBodyHottie]

Originally posted by lovely+
They live together.


hell naw.

[SoftNwet]

eat it too. There are sacrifices that we allhave to make in life and the fact the he is comfortable where he is is no excuse. If he is not happy then he should take the necessary steps to make himself happy. But you by no means should become an enabler and try to make him happy by passing on others that may be good for you while waiting on him. If he has not made a move in three years then the fact may be that he is so comfortable that he may never leave and then you are left out in the cold.

When people move in together they get comfortable splitting the bills, having some one around, and the companion ship. Well, he is not ready to give that up or be alone and seem to what you to be the garauntee that he will be able to leave her and come to you. You owe it to yourself to find someone that is availble to you and only you.....right now. If there are men that you find attactive and find you attractive do not pass on the them, waiting on a maybe. There is has got to be something there that is keeping him......no matter what he says there is always: His side
Her side and the truth!!!!!

PS: is the the guy with the vasectomy?!?!?

[lovely]

No, Soft this is not the guy with the vasectomy. My friend with the vasectomy is someone that i am trying to move on with.

[nubianx2]

The only thing about dealing with someone that has an S/O is there's always the possibility that you are just a challenge to him and once he conquers that challenge he'll return back to life as it was before you. It's a definite gamble with the cards stacked greatly against you.

Run, don't just walk away!

[Sparkles]

bump. I know this thread was lovely post, but I believe the question posted was a good one...:(

[garcia vega]

Originally posted by lovely
If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you persue a relationship.

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.

if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.

ive pursued one that was in a long term relationship that they werent happy in, and while it was good at first, in the end, it wasnt worth it...

[HulaSista]

If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you persue a relationship.
no
If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.
no
if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.
no
If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?
nothing
Do you just leave that person alone...
yes
do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.
no

[Andre98]

S/O is a No No...

I fully realize that this is taken in many circles as a naive point of view, but we need to operate on the principle that we are attempting to put our best foot forward at all times.

[dns70]

I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. So I wouldn't do that to someone else.

[Tettsuo]

If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you persue a relationship.
Only a physical one.

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.
Depends on what I'm after. If it's just sex, sure. If it's something significant and meaningful, no. They'll need to resolve their current relationship before getting into a significant relationship with me.

if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.
No.

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?
If it's just about sex, we can get it on. If it's more, then they'll have to make a decision on their current relationship before we could move forward.

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.
None of the above.

[RockYoKoo]

Originally posted by Tettsuo
If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you persue a relationship.
Only a physical one.

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person.
Depends on what I'm after. If it's just sex, sure. If it's something significant and meaningful, no. They'll need to resolve their current relationship before getting into a significant relationship with me.

if you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them.
No.

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do?
If it's just about sex, we can get it on. If it's more, then they'll have to make a decision on their current relationship before we could move forward.

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her.
None of the above.

I agree with Tet on this one...

Fa real fa real

[quietstorm]

I strongely agree with tettsuo !!!

[MR REMI RED]

Originally posted by lovely
If you were interested in someone and they had a SO would you pursue a relationship. maybe..depends on the person..

If he/she has been in the relationship for a couple of years and is not thinking about marriage with that person would that make it "Okay" to go after that person. id tell them either shit or get off the pot !!... i aint playing the 2nd dick forever.. i would feel better knowing the chic was SINGLE versus creepin on another nigga with me .

If you know that the person is not happy in thier current relationship..would you be more apt to pursue a relationship with them. only if they tryin to get outta the bullshit that they are stuck in

If you know that the person has mutual feelings for you what would you do? see answer#2

Do you just leave that person alone...do you put your feelings out there and wait...or do you activly pursue him/her. ....since im SINGLE.. in the meantime imma do single people shit... like go out ,,, party ,, DATE other people... LOL what the hell i look like waitin on a BROAD when its MILLIONS out there to meet ...:upto: