Please help me understand....

[SeaDuceme2]

when is it okay to go out with another womans Husband, come to the house and pick him up and not invite his wife to go too... if yall just friends??????

[FAMU]

Never

[misha]

It is never okay.

[KissableSexyShortStuff]

Never!!!!!!!

[seductive_tee]

NEVER, and the friend is bold i must say.

[Bedroomeyes]

But .. She couldn't of came to my house anyway without a brick through her windshield!! :banit :blast



But then again.. She'll do only what she is allowed to do... If you don't say anthing about it.. Then she will assume it's ok...

[Toffee]

Never

[OhSoPrecious]

However, she might think it is because of what he may be telling her~!! :rolleyes:

[Brightness]

I agree. . .you never really know what the husband has told this woman. You can't really expect her to respect your feelings if HE doesn't which is event by such an action.

Originally posted by OhSoPrecious+
However, she might think it is because of what he may be telling her~!! :rolleyes:

[SoftNwet]

come by by here!!!!!

He got some mucho-macho gorilla sized balls to even tell her to come over there. I would have hit 24-hour Home Depot and had them locks changed by the time him and his friend got back. But then again a stunt like that calls for some blue rice!!!!!!!!!

[Admin]

I'll say that coitus is going on if a woman comes buy and takes the husband out. They are WAY more than friends...they are:

Fuck Buddies,
Homie Lover Friends,
Etc..

Get the picture?
Holla

[Sparkles]

but ole boy got lotta nerves for even let this woman come by like that. She was probably doing what he requested, but that was so of the fraganicle shit sea you always talking about---WTF was the husband thinking!!!!

[que90nek]

i am trying to think of some cases where this may be ok....

is this woman a workmate? a coworker or subordinate?

are you with your husband? more than just live in roommates?

would it be any better if he met her down the street and went out?

[seductive_tee]

What difference does it make who she is...if they ain't related then ain't no reason she should be coming to there house to pick him up to go out and not invite the wife...especially if the wife ain't know about this picking up thing.

[que90nek]

i disagree.

there are some cases where a woman can come pick him up.

[que90nek]

it's not on her to invite...its on him.
its not her fault...its his.

so the question is more about HIM...than her.

[seductive_tee]

Originally posted by que90nek+
i disagree.

there are some cases where a woman can come pick him up.

And those cases would be?

[SeaDuceme2]

Ok, yes I was home when this occured, and no Sea didn't no go off, why? there were children in my home at the time including my daughter. All kinds of devious shit was going through my mind but I'm trying to be an adult about this situation. I cannot afford to catch a case behind him or her, he is definately not worth it! beleed dat! nor is she!

to answer your questions Que, yes I agree it's on HIM and that who I blame.
No we aint Fucking and aint going to. So I guess that would classify us as live-in roomates. That is still no reason or excuse for him to bring his hoochie to my house with our daughter, even though we are only married on paper we still share the same residence and he owes me that respect. Now if the shoe was on the other foot, I would be called and deemed a HO now wouldn't I?

Yes she is a co-worker and yes she is of lower rank than him, where your going with that one I don't no know, but do explain?

I wasn't aware of this shit until the heffa was sitting in my damn living room. I don't really care who he sees or whateva, but I do want to be respected and that is all I ask.

All I can say for her is there are some BOLD skanks walking around here in this world. and yes he should have met her ass outside not in my house.

I am very well aware that they are more than friends, even though he tells a different story and has been for months... I just wanted to get some other views, I'm always deemed as not giving a brother the benefit of the doubt or I'm hard on a brother.

And Que you know well as I doe the military don't tolerate cheating, he has made his bed I just hope he is ready to lie in it!

[CLSmooove]

Originally posted by que90nek+
so the question is more about HIM...than her.

Thats the only thing u have said that I agree with.... It is his fault.... He just disresected his wife in her home....Doesnt even care how hiswife might feel..... He's a sorry Bastard and needs to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[que90nek]

ok.

now i have some background info to go with....

so am i to understand...that they were going out on a romantic date? (and it would have been ok...if they asked u to come along?) the fact that it is a co-worker suggests that it COULD have been something else. I do not know. The up frontness and way that it appears to be would suggest that SHE is not the one. Would you rather that they sneak around? Did they tell you that they are together? Are you two together...trying to resolve your situation? OR are you separated but living together? I know I may be asking things that are none of my business...but I am trying to get an understanding of the situation.

if u do the same thing....who's gonna call u a HO? the person that doesnt matter anymore...the person that is doing the same thing....

and yes, the military is not big on cheating....he can get in some trouble...careerwise if you choose to pursue it.

What is respect, SEA? You could feel disrespected at several steps along the way....the fact is...if he is with someone else...you are disrespected...it makes no diff whether she is in your face or not.

[seductive_tee]

I don't care anyway you put it, HE was dead wrong for even having that ***** in there house and sitting in her living room, where was he, getting ready for the date....if he wanna do whatever then she should meet him elsewhere.

He and Her should have that much respect to keep it out the childs face.

Now knowing me, i would have never let the woman in, and if she was sitting in my living room i would have asked her to come out front and i would have told her to never step across my door ceil as long as I live there.

That is a bold woman! Don't she realize she could have gotten her ass whopped.

[que90nek]

if they are workmates...there is a small chance that there meeting was business related. right now...i don't know that it WAS NOT.

[misha]

ok....how about if he had gone to the skanks house, and was sitting in the living room when her husband came home?

Would he have sat around and thought about it que? Or would he have gone off?

Puhleeeeeze, y'all kill me with this analytical bullshit!

I will be damned if any woman that isn't a relative is sitting up on my sofa when I come home. I would have taken them both outside and clowned them both. WTF is this man thinking?

[SeaDuceme2]

Ok, Que I can appreciate your other viewpoint as to where there COULD be a small chance this outting was work related...let me enlighten you it was NOT....if it was work related both there asses would be romping toe to toe with the taliban trying find Osama ben laden's ass..I'm not trying to make light of this situation but lets be for real now. Coming home at 4 or 5 in the am is not work related...I was born late at night, but not last night OKAY!!!

Oh SHE is definately the one, my point is fine I am sooooooooo over the fact that he has chosen to throw away 18 years. That's fine but don't bring your dirt into my house. This is like the ultimate slap in the face.......Yes he should have continued to see her on the sneak he has been for almost a year, thats old news. TRUST me I'm not as stupid as he may think I am.

[FAMU]

Sea, I agree with you 110%. That nigga is a very poor excuse for a husband and it is stupid of him to throw away 18 years of marriage. Regardless if you two are still together are not he stills owes you respect. He stills need to respect you as his wife and as the mother of of his child(I wonder how he would feel if his father would have done his mother like that). Until the divorce comes final he needs to let his bitches sleep on the porch. I am sorry that such a wonderful woman like you got caught up with such a piss poor example of a husband. I know that you will eventually find the love of your life.........Peace

[sistuhchey]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SeaDuceme2+
[B]. Coming home at 4 or 5 in the am is not work related...I was born late at night, but not last night OKAY!!!

chosen to throw away 18 years. That's fine but don't bring your dirt into my house. This is like the ultimate slap in the face.......


****************

He'll get his!!!!...no doubt...GOD does not like UGLY!!!...
However, "THE BITCH"...couldn't come in DA'HOUSE".......I would take Doodle-Bug upstairs...lock the door with the quickness...and commenced to kick her azz right out the door!!!!....

Sea, I'm sorry you had to endure this shit....18years...WTF!!!!....
Civilian or Military....Niggas always thinking with their DICKS!!!!

What happen to all the HONOR Shit they teach and train in the Military???....Fake azz- NIGGA'S.....

Que, and don't say another damn thing...their is no JUSTIFICATION...for this behavior....:blah: :blah: :blah:

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by misha+
ok....how about if he had gone to the skanks house, and was sitting in the living room when her husband came home?

Would he have sat around and thought about it que? Or would he have gone off?

Puhleeeeeze, y'all kill me with this analytical bullshit!

I will be damned if any woman that isn't a relative is sitting up on my sofa when I come home. I would have taken them both outside and clowned them both. WTF is this man thinking?

Thanks Misha, Que there is really NO Justification for the woman being up in the house. Stop trying to make it look all innocent when it is obviously not!!!!:rolleyes:

[yendys]

The fact that was she in the house says alot about her also; just trif. I would never enter the home of a married man that still lives with his wife. True as it may be that you two are more like room mates, but you are still married.

I have sat in my car and waited for my best friend to come home many times while her husband was inside. Hells naw! Don't start no S. H won't be no I. T. It is all about respect and that garden tool disrespected you. Had the tables been turned, I can assure you things would not have ended so quietly. Some ppl. want the best of both worlds. It is either / or. No in between.

[Juicey1]

I would have made sure he couldn't get back in at 4 or 5 in the morning. He would have never walked over my threshold as the man of that house again.:blah:

[seductive_tee]

Originally posted by SeaDuceme2+
Coming home at 4 or 5 in the am is not work related...I was born late at night, but not last night OKAY!!!

Did you say "4 or 5am"? I would have went the fuck off in the lowest voice i had, since i know the kids sleep.

Did they leave together at that time or were they coming in?

[Bedroomeyes]

WTF!!! That is a bold bitch! She would have got the straight beat down!! I understand alot of what Que was saying but this was totally disrespectful and she and he both would have known exactly how I felt... Charge my ass! She was in your house!!!
:beating :blast

My only question is... Why do you let him continue to disrespect you?? You've known about other women for a while.. Why is he still there? :upto:

[que90nek]

ok.

i just wanted all the facts. you hadnt mentioned the time of said event. that certainly makes a difference to me.

if you would like...the military will put him out of the house into billeting or on the ship....just talk to his CO or his first shirt.

[SoftNwet]

Originally posted by que90nek+
ok.

if you would like...the military will put him out of the house into billeting or on the ship....just talk to his CO or his first shirt.


Not the CO or first shirt!!!! Que calling out the big dogs!!!!!

[djackso]

I understand where there might be a problem but you need to sit him down & establish some rules to the game until the divorce is final. Is the divorce cause by his cheating? I would hate to see some volience be a result since a person can only take so much. It may be hard but separate residents might be the solution.

[dulce]

Hey Sea,

I know you've probably already had that conversation about what should go on in your house. So the respect should be there. And that woman was wrong for being in your house like that.

I have several male friends that are married/girlfriends, etc. and there is no sex involved. But I make sure to cultivate at least a civilized relationship with their wives. That is out of respect for the wives and myself. And we usually do stuff together

Sounds like neither one of them has respect for you or themselves. But you might have to put it out there one more time what you expect...

[14KBlaqWmn]

That was quite disrespectful and Sea I'm sorry that you had to go through it.

I do agree with djackso in that it's best to let him know that the little stunt he pulled was quite disrespectful and that you will not tolerate or allow it. Afterall, there are other little eyes that are seeing what's going on and she shouldn't have to see all the BS and nonsense that her father's subjecting her to.

[Tastey]

That is way beyond disrespect. Waaaaaay beyond. That is just cruel and thoughtless.

I'm sorry but regardless of any thing else in the marriage the fact is that he said I do to you. He fathered a child with you and shared a life with you. If he has a heart in his chest at all there should be some feelings grown and cultivated over those years.

I think that those feelings would at least make him stop and say. "Although I don't want this marriage, I don't want to cause undue harm to the woman I married, or the child I fathered."

Even if this "date" was to go to Bible Study and then stay late and paint the new church pews while singing old negro spirituals the fact is he knew that her being there would hurt you therefore he should never ever have allowed it to happen.

Sea, gurl...you deserve better than that. Much more and much better!!!

[Babygirl]

Sea,
get on the horn and call his CO. You don't deserve to be disrespected by him or anyone else for that matter. I know you will handle your business regardless.

[Vronni]

Sea,what happened was very disrespectful. If you are going to continue to reside together,then you need to establish some rules-such as not having other women up in your house. This is a very difficult situation and I wish you the best