Am I Wrong??????

[sinnah]

I love my mother so much, but I am so sick of some of her putdowns. Well yesteday we were talking about my new job, and I was telling her how involved and difficult it is, well my mother said "you will not be their long, I can already tell that" her comment really hurt me and cut me deep, because she knows how hard I worked for this job and how much I am trying to be responsible. I had lost it and told her that her comment was rude and insensitive, and then i hung the phone up.
I feel so guilty now, and I am going to call my mother and apologize. I am just sick of her putdowns, and cutting remarks.

My mother has done this thru out my life, yes she is a good mother but should I have to deal with her constant critizm and putdowns?

[Juicey1]

Just call her back and apologize for your outburst, but let her know that her constant putdowns hurt you very badly. She may not even be aware that she is hurting you. This may have been how she was raised, her parent(s) may have treated her the same way. Please don't let this go. Apologize and let her know how you feel.

Good luck with your mother and on your new job.;)

[mack_black]

As Juicey said....she may not even know that she's doing you wrong....

have you ever had a real convo with moms and let her know how you feel as a woman( I guess you're a woman?)

sometimes its hard for children to step up to the plate and make their parents see them as adults.....but once you can overcome that hurdle, she'll see you in a better light and no doubt be your biggest cheerleader....but it takes repetition....over and over you have to emphasize the fact that you're adult and have your own vision....good luck ;)

[nubianx2]

With some parents no matter how old the child they still feel the need to speak to them as though they are children and not adults. You can let your mother know that while at times you appreciate her advice there are other times when her statements are offensive. Let her know (1) if she can't be supportive, then suggest that she not comment at all and (2) just as your respect her as your parent she should also respect you as adult capable of making sound decisions.

[ThickBodyHottie]

my mom does the same shit, and no matter how much i say she's insulting me, she doesn't give a fuck...i've now adapted the "in one ear out the other" attitude with her...i know where it comes from - she's hard on me because she feel it'll propel me to do better than i was doing in high school...but i'm OUT of high school and had she been paying attention, she'd see i was doing better than SHE is...nevertheless, she does it, too, and though i sometimes slip into the frame of mind where i want her approval, i get out of it quickly...i go to my sisters for approval now...

[Tastey]

It must be a Mom thing. Mine does the same.

Like TBH said I've learned to tune her out and not look to her for approval.

Honestly I have a good mother. She's been there for me when no one has and she planted my first seed of knowing God. I thank her and love her for all that.

I also accept her for her shortcomings and realize she did the best she knew how in raising us. Her mother died when she was 13 and she grew up with 2 different step-mothers. She never knew the mother/daughter relationships we see on TV, and sometimes want. She is not nor will she ever be my best friend but I love her dearly and I accept her for what she is.

Your mother did not intend to hurt you with her comment she simply did not know how to respond to you. Look at it that way and it will hurt less.

Talk to her...as some on the Hush who've lost theirs can attest you only get one Mom...good or bad. She gave you life...try to remember that's the greatest gift.

[Bedroomeyes]

Originally posted by ThickBodyHottie+
my mom does the same shit, and no matter how much i say she's insulting me, she doesn't give a fuck...i've now adapted the "in one ear out the other" attitude with her...


Damn!! Do you know my mama?? :rolleyes:

I'm the same way - Sinnah.. Let it go.. Like said earlier, she probably doesn't see how she's hurting you.. My mother and I have had blow-outs like this often.. I don't apologize.. For what? I meant what I said!! And she doesn't apologize either.. We just give ourselves a couple of days to calm down and then it's back to normal... Well... normal for us... ;) :p Good luck with your job!