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View Full Version : Ahem. . .tell me what ya think. . .


TheProphet69
11-29-2003, 02:02 PM
"What If???"
- My girl, wiz, dime, jump-off. . .
so many things to call her
she epitomizes what a women should be. . .
strong, emotional, spritual and best of all, inteligent
She's and angel, and a gift that is God sent,
but yet,
as i sleep, my mind is flooded,
with a white hot symphony of
bad memories. . .
I awake and immediately begin to feel like shit. . .
i cant sleep, and start to think. . .
"what if???"
- A million thoughts run through my mind,]
as i approach her right b4 lunchtime.
It was ya 1st day, i asked you,
"y'd u changfe schools?"
a quick response,
"i broke up w/ my man,
i needed to start over,
im sick of wearin the same shoes."
I said "iight, cool"
thinkin in my mind,
"imma bag her". . .
what if i never met you?
what if you didnt transfer to L.E.A.P?
- We grew closer, and you finally told me the truth
ya mom caught ya'll about to fuck,
"Shit, my kinda luck!"
She tried to distance you, but it didnt help,
as only ya emotions grew. . .
I consoled you, u missed the "love of ya' life"
thing is, now,
I want you. . .
what if you would've gone through w/ it?
what if ya mom wouldnt have caught ya?
- You started feelin me, we got closer. . .
Shit was crazy, no kisses, or hugs,
jus endless stories of you and him. . .
as i walked home, i stumbled upon it. . .
an event that shouldve made me hate you,
and never acknowledge you again. . .
you and that him
hugged up, kissin and shit,
in ya "hidin place". . .
you didnt see me, but i saw you, and
what you were doing. . .
the next day we became
"jus friends" again. . .i couldnt view it the same. . .
what ifyou hadnt kissed him again???
what if i had flipped and fucked him up???
- Months passed, and you love fpr me grew uncontrollabl. . .
you didnt want to hurt ya mom again,
but u couldnt stand watching me flirtin w/ the other chicks. . .
the time came, again, for us to be together,\
spend every moment together
be 1, and breathe together. . .
You were competely over him, and ready. . .
ready to commint soley to me. . .
what if my encouter, made me hate you???
what if you still loved him???
- Our first kiss
was bliss, but
in the back of my mind
remained the picture of you and him. . .
what if i never erase that visual???
What if it never leaves me, and i cant deal w/ it???

P.S. I know tht its long, but i need feedback. . .i know, ya'll will tell me how it really is. . .i need criticism. . .holla back. . .1 ya'selves!!!

dulce
11-29-2003, 02:13 PM
I like that it tells a story without following a familiar format - somewhere between a poem and a short story....I can really get what this guy is feeling - all the turmoil and indecision about what to do. Plus I like that it's open-ended...there's that "what if" hanging out there...

TheProphet69
11-29-2003, 02:46 PM
Showin Love as always. . .the guy in the joint was me. . .situation im goin through. . .dont be suprised to see a thread about the situation in the Relationship forum. . .lol. . .thanks again. . .1 ya'self!!!

HulaSista
11-29-2003, 11:05 PM
talkin to ya self

talkin to her

talking to ya self

talkin to her

when are you ACTUALLY gonna talk to HER

and stop talkin to ya self?


(btw... i liked that)